liberation dvd extras: track 1: fandom shoutouts
We would like to now welcome you to the DVD EXTRAS PORTION OF THE PROCEEDINGS!
Okay, once again, I feel like the Grand High Muckety Muck of the Crystal City of Shoutout with little shoutout canapes on a silver platter, and I can't believe how nonchalantly they fit in. --helpwess
1. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
“Purple. Monkey. Dishwasher.” She bites down on her lip nervously. “Do those words have any, uh, special meaning to you?”
source: missdeviant's cracked out meta fic with RPF interlude of the same title.
(note: The phrase ‘purple monkey dishwasher’ derives from an episode of The Simpsons)
2. Hooker Rolemodels:
“She gives him one of her looks. The exasperated kind she gives him at fan events when she wants to go home and pee and they've taken the same limo, and he's surrounded by girls on the sidewalk. The girls who would tell her, "Ohmygod you're so totally my rolemodel," but judging by their outfits, it looked like the only rolemodels they had were the ones standing at the corner of Michigan and Main at two in the morning.”
source: See: icon.
3. Yellow Cars
"A Hummer?" she exclaims once they reach the parking lot. "You rented a Hummer?"
"Nice, huh?" Jason pats the hood appreciatively, and she fights the urge to roll her eyes. He's such a guy.
"At least it's in black," she grumbles. "If it was yellow, I'd be walking."
source: Logan’s Xterra. If you watch Veronica Mars, we shouldn’t have to spell it out.
4. Watches:
Slowly, like he's afraid she's going to bite his watch off, Jason reaches over and flicks off the radio.
source: Okay, this one is a bit obscure, and you MIGHT even say it’s not a real shoutout, but if you saw jascott’s watchspam, you’d understand why we had to include it.
5. Scootch
Jason just gazes at her for a long time before untangling his limbs, getting up and sitting on the tub’s edge, scootching toward her. Their knees knock and she’s suddenly certain that it’s definitely, definitely not that simple.
source: Oh, you remember the EPIC SCOOTCHING, don’t you? If not, let us remind you.
6. The Poo Question
“Shut up,” she says, disbelieving, when he talks about the free personality tests. “They do not ask that!”
“Would I lie to you?” he replies, holding his hands up disarmingly.
“You’re telling me that they ask whether you would rather eat a piece of poo, or be covered in it?”
“They really do. Right, Jason?”
Jason, who is leading the way, slows just enough to look briefly over his shoulder and nod his confirmation.
“You’re shitting me!” She laughs, then grins at Josh. “So, what would you answer?”
He considers the question thoughtfully. “Well, it depends. Is it covered in chocolate?”
source: missdeviant asked this at the Saturday night Marsathon.
Michael Muhney said he would if it were covered in chocolate.
7. Jason Dohring: 67% Alien Free
“So, Jason, what level did you get to?” she asks curiously.
“Level OT V,” he replies, eyes trained ahead.
“And how high is that?”
“Basically, two-thirds the way up the ladder,” Josh chips in from behind them.
She tries not to laugh as she asks, "So... you're 67% alien free?"
“Thetan free,” he corrects her, a little huffily, and takes a right turn. “Come on, it’s right over here.”
source: Contrary to common belief, the icon came BEFORE the fic. We just thought it was funny.
8. Somebody please get Kristen
“SOMEBODY PLEASE GET KRISTEN,” she suddenly hears Jason yell.
source: The first of MANY, MANY shoutouts stolen from the cracked out team of jascott and helpwess. I think it started somewhere around here. See also: icon.
9. Hotpants
"CLOTHES. They all have this design on them, two triangles and a snakey thing. I see polos. Sweatshirts. Onesies," she reports. "Wow. They even have hotpants. You know, this really doesn't help the whole 'anti-gay' thing they've supposedly got going on."
source: Okay, we confess, we really like shouting at ourselves. And fangirling ourselves. We’re receiving psychiatric help for the problem (don’t tell Tom Cruise). For whatever reason (aka the ‘fanfic’ section of Colbert Nation), missdeviant decided that it would be really funny if Logan wore hotpants. In various hilarious scenarios. And she wrote six fics about it. And made a photomanip. Then buffyx made one too.
See also: some icons.
10. If a tree falls…
Climbing down the tree should be easier than climbing up it. And it is-well, that is, until she steps on the lowest branch, and immediately hears a cracking sound. It breaks beneath her, and she tumbles ungracefully to the ground.
When she opens her eyes, she's flat on her back and Jason is leaning over her, looking concerned.
“So. If I fell from this tree and you weren't here to see it, would I have made a sound?” she finally questions.
A small, relieved smile stretches across his lips. “You did make a sound. I believe it was 'oof'.”
source: If a tree falls while Logan and Veronica make out, does it make a sound? This precise question was asked during the Austin Marsathon. The answer to that is Dude, who cares, THEY'RE MAKING OUT YAY HOTNESS. !!!
See also: icon
11. Over-wifing
Josh waits a few moments, and then looks over at Kristen. “He does care about you. A lot. You have to realize that, right?”
“How-” She stops to catch herself, keep her voice under control. “How do you know?”
“It’s the overwifing,” he says. “Gives it away every time.”
source: How is this word not already all over the web? Urban Dictionary! Wikipedia! SOMEONE GET ON THIS! We sorely wish we could take credit for this awesome word, but alas, it is all helpwess and Oh you know whoops, the JD/KB RPF that we consider the great grandmamma of the Liberation.
12. I read your e-mail:
“Don’t bother.” Tom Cruise waves him off, strides over and looks up at him with malice. "I know exactly why you’re here. I know how you feel about my fiancée. I read your email, cupcake1978 at gmail dot com."
source: See: icon
See also: Michael Muhney *hearts* fandom
13. Alpacas
“And you named her after L. Ron Hubbard’s ALPACA,” Jason yells back. “You care more about your aquatic wonderland and private sex jets than you do your own FAMILY, Tom.” He takes a tentative step towards the short man. “What would you do if that were all gone?”
source:Where to BEGIN? It’s probably a VM fandom pre-req to be familiar with kantayra’s masterwork of MS Paint, The Great Echolls Alpaca Quest. But we really wouldn’t have thought of it without the help of Tom Cruise is Nuts, which uncovered the fact that “Suri” is actually a breed of Alpaca.
Seriously. We do not make this shit up.
14. Rings made of gum wrappers
Excellent answer. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question. The question should be: Would you like a parting gift? Perhaps this lovely ring made out of gum wrappers?
source: Another callback to Purple Monkey Dishwasher. missdeviant actually DID have a dream once where she and Jason Dohring made out, and she was all concerned about his MARRIAGE (I know, what?) and he told her not to worry, his ring was made out of gum wrappers and he only wore it to scare the fangirls away.
missdeviant sometimes has the world’s most awesome dreams.
15. DOT DOT DOT
There are not enough ellipses for the painfully long pause that follows.
helpwess invented it as an alternative to "..." We all use it. (Although I am ADAMANTLY OPPOSED to the new manifestation of "...DOT DOT DOT." It hurts me in the style manual! THERE. I SAID IT. LET THE RIFT BEGIN!)
No linkage necessary.
16. Nipple rubbing
She runs her hands over the bare skin, feeling the tight muscles of his stomach, tentatively moving upwards to his nipples. She touches them and he flinches a little, pulling back and sitting up.
“What?” she asks, propping herself on her elbows. She wonders if he’s going to inform her of some sort of new, creepy Scientologist taboo.
"Sorry. I'm a little sensitive. They get abused by the fangirls a little too much."
source: queen_haq's infamous (?) Marsathon incident.
17. Michael Muhney *hearts* fandom
Kristen laughs and reaches out again, pressing against him with her thumbs. He tenses. "What, and you don’t enjoy that kind of thing?"
He stares at her for a beat. "Is my name Michael Muhney? No."
source: Do we even have to explain? REALLY?
18, 19, and 20. Cryptic Icon Phrases
She shifts her weight down until she is straddling his lower thighs and lifts the band of his underwear again. This time he does not stop her, and that frightens her more than anything, and she pauses anxiously.
How can this be both the WORST idea ever and also the BEST?
His eyes open and he raises up slightly, reaching out with one long arm to brush her hair behind her ear. "Don't tell me you're still worried that you're just another notch in my mile high bedpost."
She shoots him a withering look. "That is the worst thing you could possibly say."
"Get off me,” he says, lifting her and moving her to the side of his body.
"Annnd, that's somehow even worse."
source: Sometimes there are chat conversations that must be turned into icons. Possibly, some conversations are had practically JUST to create iconnable catchphrases.
buffyx, helpwess, jascott and missdeviant are not afraid of those conversations.
Worst: Hannah and Logan. See icon.
Somehow Even Worse: Hannah and Logan. Again. See icon
Notch: More Logan and Hannah. See icon
21. Motion of crotches
Also on this list: Mindblowing sex. And as she’s learning now, sex with Jason qualifies. Totally. In particular, the motion of their crotches.
source: Oh, this needs explaining like Muhney's nuttiness does, that is: NOT AT ALL. Just go and click on the cracky recap picspams created by jascott and helpwess.
And then note how we never, ever let anything drop.
SPECIAL BONUS SHOUTOUT: "or whatever"
Jason Dohring says "or whatever." A lot. (Evidence - Austin Marsathon. I do not have a transcript, or I would link it.)
We tried to make that as clear as possible when writing this.
Seriously. Next time you read it, count them.
See also: more icons.
Okay, once again, I feel like the Grand High Muckety Muck of the Crystal City of Shoutout with little shoutout canapes on a silver platter, and I can't believe how nonchalantly they fit in. --helpwess
1. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
“Purple. Monkey. Dishwasher.” She bites down on her lip nervously. “Do those words have any, uh, special meaning to you?”
source: missdeviant's cracked out meta fic with RPF interlude of the same title.
(note: The phrase ‘purple monkey dishwasher’ derives from an episode of The Simpsons)
2. Hooker Rolemodels:
“She gives him one of her looks. The exasperated kind she gives him at fan events when she wants to go home and pee and they've taken the same limo, and he's surrounded by girls on the sidewalk. The girls who would tell her, "Ohmygod you're so totally my rolemodel," but judging by their outfits, it looked like the only rolemodels they had were the ones standing at the corner of Michigan and Main at two in the morning.”
source: See: icon.
3. Yellow Cars
"A Hummer?" she exclaims once they reach the parking lot. "You rented a Hummer?"
"Nice, huh?" Jason pats the hood appreciatively, and she fights the urge to roll her eyes. He's such a guy.
"At least it's in black," she grumbles. "If it was yellow, I'd be walking."
source: Logan’s Xterra. If you watch Veronica Mars, we shouldn’t have to spell it out.
4. Watches:
Slowly, like he's afraid she's going to bite his watch off, Jason reaches over and flicks off the radio.
source: Okay, this one is a bit obscure, and you MIGHT even say it’s not a real shoutout, but if you saw jascott’s watchspam, you’d understand why we had to include it.
5. Scootch
Jason just gazes at her for a long time before untangling his limbs, getting up and sitting on the tub’s edge, scootching toward her. Their knees knock and she’s suddenly certain that it’s definitely, definitely not that simple.
source: Oh, you remember the EPIC SCOOTCHING, don’t you? If not, let us remind you.
6. The Poo Question
“Shut up,” she says, disbelieving, when he talks about the free personality tests. “They do not ask that!”
“Would I lie to you?” he replies, holding his hands up disarmingly.
“You’re telling me that they ask whether you would rather eat a piece of poo, or be covered in it?”
“They really do. Right, Jason?”
Jason, who is leading the way, slows just enough to look briefly over his shoulder and nod his confirmation.
“You’re shitting me!” She laughs, then grins at Josh. “So, what would you answer?”
He considers the question thoughtfully. “Well, it depends. Is it covered in chocolate?”
source: missdeviant asked this at the Saturday night Marsathon.
Michael Muhney said he would if it were covered in chocolate.
7. Jason Dohring: 67% Alien Free
“So, Jason, what level did you get to?” she asks curiously.
“Level OT V,” he replies, eyes trained ahead.
“And how high is that?”
“Basically, two-thirds the way up the ladder,” Josh chips in from behind them.
She tries not to laugh as she asks, "So... you're 67% alien free?"
“Thetan free,” he corrects her, a little huffily, and takes a right turn. “Come on, it’s right over here.”
source: Contrary to common belief, the icon came BEFORE the fic. We just thought it was funny.
8. Somebody please get Kristen
“SOMEBODY PLEASE GET KRISTEN,” she suddenly hears Jason yell.
source: The first of MANY, MANY shoutouts stolen from the cracked out team of jascott and helpwess. I think it started somewhere around here. See also: icon.
9. Hotpants
"CLOTHES. They all have this design on them, two triangles and a snakey thing. I see polos. Sweatshirts. Onesies," she reports. "Wow. They even have hotpants. You know, this really doesn't help the whole 'anti-gay' thing they've supposedly got going on."
source: Okay, we confess, we really like shouting at ourselves. And fangirling ourselves. We’re receiving psychiatric help for the problem (don’t tell Tom Cruise). For whatever reason (aka the ‘fanfic’ section of Colbert Nation), missdeviant decided that it would be really funny if Logan wore hotpants. In various hilarious scenarios. And she wrote six fics about it. And made a photomanip. Then buffyx made one too.
See also: some icons.
10. If a tree falls…
Climbing down the tree should be easier than climbing up it. And it is-well, that is, until she steps on the lowest branch, and immediately hears a cracking sound. It breaks beneath her, and she tumbles ungracefully to the ground.
When she opens her eyes, she's flat on her back and Jason is leaning over her, looking concerned.
“So. If I fell from this tree and you weren't here to see it, would I have made a sound?” she finally questions.
A small, relieved smile stretches across his lips. “You did make a sound. I believe it was 'oof'.”
source: If a tree falls while Logan and Veronica make out, does it make a sound? This precise question was asked during the Austin Marsathon. The answer to that is Dude, who cares, THEY'RE MAKING OUT YAY HOTNESS. !!!
See also: icon
11. Over-wifing
Josh waits a few moments, and then looks over at Kristen. “He does care about you. A lot. You have to realize that, right?”
“How-” She stops to catch herself, keep her voice under control. “How do you know?”
“It’s the overwifing,” he says. “Gives it away every time.”
source: How is this word not already all over the web? Urban Dictionary! Wikipedia! SOMEONE GET ON THIS! We sorely wish we could take credit for this awesome word, but alas, it is all helpwess and Oh you know whoops, the JD/KB RPF that we consider the great grandmamma of the Liberation.
12. I read your e-mail:
“Don’t bother.” Tom Cruise waves him off, strides over and looks up at him with malice. "I know exactly why you’re here. I know how you feel about my fiancée. I read your email, cupcake1978 at gmail dot com."
source: See: icon
See also: Michael Muhney *hearts* fandom
13. Alpacas
“And you named her after L. Ron Hubbard’s ALPACA,” Jason yells back. “You care more about your aquatic wonderland and private sex jets than you do your own FAMILY, Tom.” He takes a tentative step towards the short man. “What would you do if that were all gone?”
source:Where to BEGIN? It’s probably a VM fandom pre-req to be familiar with kantayra’s masterwork of MS Paint, The Great Echolls Alpaca Quest. But we really wouldn’t have thought of it without the help of Tom Cruise is Nuts, which uncovered the fact that “Suri” is actually a breed of Alpaca.
Seriously. We do not make this shit up.
14. Rings made of gum wrappers
Excellent answer. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong question. The question should be: Would you like a parting gift? Perhaps this lovely ring made out of gum wrappers?
source: Another callback to Purple Monkey Dishwasher. missdeviant actually DID have a dream once where she and Jason Dohring made out, and she was all concerned about his MARRIAGE (I know, what?) and he told her not to worry, his ring was made out of gum wrappers and he only wore it to scare the fangirls away.
missdeviant sometimes has the world’s most awesome dreams.
15. DOT DOT DOT
There are not enough ellipses for the painfully long pause that follows.
helpwess invented it as an alternative to "..." We all use it. (Although I am ADAMANTLY OPPOSED to the new manifestation of "...DOT DOT DOT." It hurts me in the style manual! THERE. I SAID IT. LET THE RIFT BEGIN!)
No linkage necessary.
16. Nipple rubbing
She runs her hands over the bare skin, feeling the tight muscles of his stomach, tentatively moving upwards to his nipples. She touches them and he flinches a little, pulling back and sitting up.
“What?” she asks, propping herself on her elbows. She wonders if he’s going to inform her of some sort of new, creepy Scientologist taboo.
"Sorry. I'm a little sensitive. They get abused by the fangirls a little too much."
source: queen_haq's infamous (?) Marsathon incident.
17. Michael Muhney *hearts* fandom
Kristen laughs and reaches out again, pressing against him with her thumbs. He tenses. "What, and you don’t enjoy that kind of thing?"
He stares at her for a beat. "Is my name Michael Muhney? No."
source: Do we even have to explain? REALLY?
18, 19, and 20. Cryptic Icon Phrases
She shifts her weight down until she is straddling his lower thighs and lifts the band of his underwear again. This time he does not stop her, and that frightens her more than anything, and she pauses anxiously.
How can this be both the WORST idea ever and also the BEST?
His eyes open and he raises up slightly, reaching out with one long arm to brush her hair behind her ear. "Don't tell me you're still worried that you're just another notch in my mile high bedpost."
She shoots him a withering look. "That is the worst thing you could possibly say."
"Get off me,” he says, lifting her and moving her to the side of his body.
"Annnd, that's somehow even worse."
source: Sometimes there are chat conversations that must be turned into icons. Possibly, some conversations are had practically JUST to create iconnable catchphrases.
buffyx, helpwess, jascott and missdeviant are not afraid of those conversations.
Worst: Hannah and Logan. See icon.
Somehow Even Worse: Hannah and Logan. Again. See icon
Notch: More Logan and Hannah. See icon
21. Motion of crotches
Also on this list: Mindblowing sex. And as she’s learning now, sex with Jason qualifies. Totally. In particular, the motion of their crotches.
source: Oh, this needs explaining like Muhney's nuttiness does, that is: NOT AT ALL. Just go and click on the cracky recap picspams created by jascott and helpwess.
And then note how we never, ever let anything drop.
SPECIAL BONUS SHOUTOUT: "or whatever"
Jason Dohring says "or whatever." A lot. (Evidence - Austin Marsathon. I do not have a transcript, or I would link it.)
We tried to make that as clear as possible when writing this.
Seriously. Next time you read it, count them.
See also: more icons.