teen (not) at home
My kids are 21 - he lives in Leeds with his fiancee - always knew where he was, and 18. She's the problem. She has been in a house share 40 miles away for the past few months, near her partner, Nat. She cheated on her with someone aged 32 for a while, then left Nat for him (yes a him) then was dumped after a few days. Nat took her back, but I strongly suspect she is still seeing this older bloke, whom I dislike and distrust.
NB None of this is any of my business while she is away from home, but it distresses me greatly at the moment, as daughter is home for a short while before moving to student accommodation.
The only night she has spent at home was the night Nat came to stay here. I don't want to be seen condoning her mistreatment of Nat, and I have made it clear that I will not lie to Nat, or have it look as if I am covering up; I like, respect and feel sorry for her, although I can see she is a bit possessive. Also, I like to know if daughter will be coming home or not - I can't settle if I am wondering where she is, and if she is going to be coming in or not. A message 'Mum, I'm staying at Emma's' is quite sufficient.
Last night she went off to Bristol (25 miles) to a guiders meeting, and didn't come home. I dithered, as I didn't want to try to contact her if she was driving. I have find your child on ALL our phones - mine, husband and son's, as well as hers - and for the first time EVER I used it, but she had blocked the find. The agreement was that I pay money towards her phone (actually the contract is still in my name, as it was taken out when she was only 16) on the understanding that she never blocks the finder.
Eventually I sent her a text message asking if she was coming home. She replied no, she'd see me in the morning. I waited a while, but couldnt settle, so messaged again, asking again where she was, or I'd assume the worst. Eventually I got a reply 'At Gav's' which was ok by me. (well, by comparison, but of course, I have no idea if it's true or not. That's how it gets in the middle of the night)
I hardly slept last night, with worry, and have been up since o-dark thirty,
I feel that if we have an agreement, she should not break it without saying so. That if she is supposedly staying here, then she should let us know if she will not be home. Also, with all this going out she's been doing since she got back, she hasn't sorted out the stuff she brought back from Swindon, hasnt packed for Uni, and hasn't done some urgent paperwork - she is going to have to drive back to Bristol today to hand deliver something with today's deadline, or she won't get her disabled student allowance for her computer, etc (about £2k).
She knows I'm at a low ebb at the moment, as I have been frantically dealing with my son's car (which is in husband's name) being stolen on Sunday. (From outside the garage where it was having a new radiator) She seems to think that I was never 18, never stayed out all night and fibbed where I was, and never ended up in shit scary danger, wishing someone could come and save me.
Sorry for awful writing.
Comments, please
NB None of this is any of my business while she is away from home, but it distresses me greatly at the moment, as daughter is home for a short while before moving to student accommodation.
The only night she has spent at home was the night Nat came to stay here. I don't want to be seen condoning her mistreatment of Nat, and I have made it clear that I will not lie to Nat, or have it look as if I am covering up; I like, respect and feel sorry for her, although I can see she is a bit possessive. Also, I like to know if daughter will be coming home or not - I can't settle if I am wondering where she is, and if she is going to be coming in or not. A message 'Mum, I'm staying at Emma's' is quite sufficient.
Last night she went off to Bristol (25 miles) to a guiders meeting, and didn't come home. I dithered, as I didn't want to try to contact her if she was driving. I have find your child on ALL our phones - mine, husband and son's, as well as hers - and for the first time EVER I used it, but she had blocked the find. The agreement was that I pay money towards her phone (actually the contract is still in my name, as it was taken out when she was only 16) on the understanding that she never blocks the finder.
Eventually I sent her a text message asking if she was coming home. She replied no, she'd see me in the morning. I waited a while, but couldnt settle, so messaged again, asking again where she was, or I'd assume the worst. Eventually I got a reply 'At Gav's' which was ok by me. (well, by comparison, but of course, I have no idea if it's true or not. That's how it gets in the middle of the night)
I hardly slept last night, with worry, and have been up since o-dark thirty,
I feel that if we have an agreement, she should not break it without saying so. That if she is supposedly staying here, then she should let us know if she will not be home. Also, with all this going out she's been doing since she got back, she hasn't sorted out the stuff she brought back from Swindon, hasnt packed for Uni, and hasn't done some urgent paperwork - she is going to have to drive back to Bristol today to hand deliver something with today's deadline, or she won't get her disabled student allowance for her computer, etc (about £2k).
She knows I'm at a low ebb at the moment, as I have been frantically dealing with my son's car (which is in husband's name) being stolen on Sunday. (From outside the garage where it was having a new radiator) She seems to think that I was never 18, never stayed out all night and fibbed where I was, and never ended up in shit scary danger, wishing someone could come and save me.
Sorry for awful writing.
Comments, please