Having crushes is fun, but falling in love is risky business
Even if I don't want to, there are days when I'm reminded of something that forces me to process my previous relationships.
I'm too lazy to break things down, but here's what I realized about my most recent ex: I loved him (in some way, I still do), but I didn't love us.
I also realized that it's very easy for me to fall in love but very difficult for me to let go when it's over or just not healthy anymore. So now I know that it's fine to enjoy having crushes and the kilig that comes with it, but I'm going to have better boundaries and standards when it comes to falling in love. I have more at stake now.
If I'm going to fall in love, it has to be someone who inspires me to grow and achieve my dreams; someone who I can comfortably be who I am while I'm learning and getting my shit together; someone who treats me with kindness and compassion; someone who sees me as someone who already adds value by simply being a presence in their life.
I'm never going to put myself in a situation again where I have to desperately work in the relationship just to even be enough. If I work hard in a relationship, it would be because I'm inspired to deepen and grow the relationship. In the right relationship, who I am as a person is already enough; any improvement is just added bonus.