(no subject)

[plainwhitewalls]

today was the best day ive had in a while. i woke up, studied a little for midterms, and watched about 6 or so hours of americas next top model. yoanna won. i personally loved shandi but whatever yoanna had this super gorgeous face that no one has. her and like one other girl and then austen are the only ppl ive ever seen with faces that gorgeous. shandi was dorky/unconventionally pretty tho and i liked her more. and tyra banks is so cool, i love her. shes all girl power-get to know yourself-be confident in who you are blah blah but it doesnt come across as fake. oprahs like that too but i like tyra banks way better. anyway, it inspired me to go back to my modeling thing. i didnt even do anything with my comp cards out of pure laziness, well combined with fear of rejection but mostly the first thing. so now theyre outdated and inaccurate. im not as skinny as i used to be, ive gotten taller, and i shaved my head. so i couldnt very well go to auditions or anything until i got new ones which would take money i dont have but id like to start going to the class/course things again. the atmosphere is fun to be around. and i think id do better with it now seeing as im a lot more confident then in 7th/8th grade which those grades totally sucked. in fact middle school just fucking sucked. and you know what i used to say i just didnt pursue it bcuz i didnt want to promote the stereotype of what girls "should look like" but that was pretty much crap and me trying to hide behind some point or belief or standard that i do care about but it didnt influence me too much. i can be super lame. i always admit it in the end though. i sound really lame to say that was the best day ive had in a while but it was bcuz i havent been in that consistent of a good mood in a day in a while. i wasnt upset like at all all day.

branie just told me about what happened with her mom, and i hope i hope brandies mom is ok and shes ok bcuz things really suck right now. and that was just ugh really dumb of her mom. things r gonna get better tho, im convinced.