Why
Why is it that when we whatsapp you're the one person who can make me feel? Why is it that you're the one person I am utterly honest with about my tears and fears? Why does it still hurt after all this while? Why do I still feel the need to say goodbye to you, to your mother and to your grandfather? Why doesn't my heart take a faster time to heal from this tragedy? ):
So here's the truth - I don't want to ever regret my decision for not being home when my mom is ill. I want to know that I did everything I could in my power to be home, to be present in my family's lives. I've been away for quite some time now and I miss them. Asia will always be here with it's bright lights and fancy lifestyle, and I know I can always come back here to work if need be. But right now, in this present moment, I know my heart is in Melbourne and there's where I want to be for now. It's not a forever thing, it's a for now thing. And I need to trust in myself and my intuition that I am making the right decision for me. As I've told myself before, you have to taken ownership and responsibility for your actions. Your life is what you choose it to, how you direct it. Be positive, think and trust in yourself. I know that whatever comes your way, you are strong enough to face it. So have a little faith in yourself Nicole. It will be good to have some spare time to reflect on life and the path you want to pursue. You're only 24 - there's the whole world out there and so many possibilities. You don't have to justify your choices to anyone but yourself and that's all that matters. Like Ahkong said "you're a brave girl" and you are.
So here's the truth - I don't want to ever regret my decision for not being home when my mom is ill. I want to know that I did everything I could in my power to be home, to be present in my family's lives. I've been away for quite some time now and I miss them. Asia will always be here with it's bright lights and fancy lifestyle, and I know I can always come back here to work if need be. But right now, in this present moment, I know my heart is in Melbourne and there's where I want to be for now. It's not a forever thing, it's a for now thing. And I need to trust in myself and my intuition that I am making the right decision for me. As I've told myself before, you have to taken ownership and responsibility for your actions. Your life is what you choose it to, how you direct it. Be positive, think and trust in yourself. I know that whatever comes your way, you are strong enough to face it. So have a little faith in yourself Nicole. It will be good to have some spare time to reflect on life and the path you want to pursue. You're only 24 - there's the whole world out there and so many possibilities. You don't have to justify your choices to anyone but yourself and that's all that matters. Like Ahkong said "you're a brave girl" and you are.