(no subject)

[plain_n_normal]

another weekend passed, one more to go. i still feel like a damn prisoner in my home. i want to do whatever i want, but i'm forced to worry about what the mom thinks while i'm on the computer or just in my room while the kids are playing. they're just fine, and my games aren't as entertaining as whenever they play by themselves. i do play with them, but it's hard whenever they're already into a game and i come into the room and try to fit into their game, somehow it doesn't work. so, i stay away keeping an eye on them and an eye on the clock so i get them into the shower on time. i'm so tired. i had a long day, but it was nice. nice food, nice people. monday down, let's see about how i can get tuesday over with, once i get past wednesday, i'm going to start shitting myself realizing that i have four days left and i need to start packing my stuff. i have a long laundry list of things to do, and i'm procrastinating till the very end. today as i was driving i realized i needed gas, being the dumbass that i am, i had left my purse and credit card at home meaning, i'm fucked if i run out of gas, luckilly i didn't run out, i'm knocking on some wood and thanking the universe for all my luck. i have a headache due to the fact i'm taking myself off of my honey diet...sad, yes, but i really need to cut back my sugar intake if i want to lose the ten pounds before i go. i ran a mile and a half today, yay! i'm absolutely crazy and i'm going to meet one of my online friends. never met someone from the computer before, this is going to be interesting. we're going to meet in paris at starbucks...i figure it's safe, and if i end up not liking the situation it'll be crowded and there's bound to be other americans there that can help me out, i think things are going to be just fine though, he seems respectable enough. if i end up disappearing, that's just my luck, but i feel alright about doing this. oh well. you only live once, right. i found out i'm not getting my step-mom's car, but another car, a fucking honda accord, what are the odds, the car that i hated because of all the bad experiences i've had with hondas and accords, fuck 'em, i'm gonna have a car, and i'm going to like it! one week till i leave this place for good, i'm happy, but friggin lazy and i can't get around to cleaning or even packing.
this is the hardest family to live with. nothing i do is right, nothing i can do is ever good enough, i put my everything into what i do and it's not good enough, ever. i can't imagine staying here more than what i have to. tonight is going to be the longest night of my life. i'm so happy i can count the days till i leave on my fingers and toes.