Leavin' on a jet plane
Ok...I'm leaving. March 3rd I'll be back in good ole' Tulsa!
On Wednesday Eric and Isabelle had a discussion with me. It was after I had a dispute with Isabelle about going outside. The middle boy was sitting in the grass and it was cold and wet outside. She told me to go out there, and I said it's cold and wet, I'll watch them from here. Then she jumped up and ran outside to yell at the little boy and I went upstairs to get away from her. The night before I was getting things ready for the kids to go to bed and she was getting the bottles ready for the little ones, she had told the oldest to get into the shower many times and I told him again after he asked to take the bottles up to the little ones, then she told me that it was alright for him to take the bottles up to the kids then get into the shower. As I was walking away I heard him say, "Na-na na-na na-na!" to me. I don't know if in French that's called taunting, but you would never do it to an adult in the US, I told him it wasn't nice and apologies. It just showed me how much he respects me. She said, "What, what did he do?" I re-explained what he had done, because she was standing right there and obviously didn't hear, I asked her if he would do that to his teacher at school and she said, "No" then I asked, "Why is he allowed to do it to me?" She didn't have an answer and then I left the room to get away from her. No respect, one of my good friends has been noticing that I put myself into positions of no respect all my life. This is another one of those positions, that's why I bought a plane ticket.
The talk that Eric and Isabelle had with me was about my mood or attitude. I know we live in this house together, so my mood affects everyone. They said that whenever they wake up in the morning they wonder what the day is going to be like, is Shelley in a good mood today or is she in a bad mood. The amount of work they get done depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I said that was BS because Isabelle can just close the door to her office and not accept anyone, even me. She's done that less than a handful of times. I told her that she never leaves the kids with me, I can name once, she never just drops them. She always is correcting something I'm doing or fixing something that I've done. For a good example, every morning I get the kids ready for school, choose their clothes and everything, she usually come up behind me and changes something. Last night she knew she was going to sleep in so she laid out their clothes so that SHE knew exactly what they were wearing and she wouldn't have to worry. She's neurotic, and a control freak. She can't let me be with the kids. I'd think by now, after eight months of me living here she'd know that I know what to do, I know what I'm doing. I have my job in my hands, the less that she trusts me the less the kids trust me, so they've been horrible to me for the past few weeks.
They told me to choose, either go home, or stay and be happy. That was the ultimatum. I can't promise to change the way I feel. They have to change too. I really don't see Eric helping out more with the house or being with the kids more and being a better person, and I don't really see Isabelle leaving me alone with the kids or leaving me alone. I don't see the kids obeying better or respecting me like they should, so I'm going to save about five months of grief for all of us and just go.
The one thing that bothers me the most about Isabelle is that she cares too much about some things and not enough about other things. The little girl whines and cries, no one does anything about it. The oldest eats the skin on his fingers, he's constantly got his hands in his mouth, and he still sucks his thumb, he's going to be ten in a few months. The youngest child doesn't listen to anyone for anything, and when he doesn't get his way he's impossible. The hardest part is that they don't care about any of this, but they care about how many films they watch in a week or how much they play on the computer.
I'm tired of Isabelle controlling me, what I eat, how much and when. I'm tired of her ruining my clothes, changing the colors and making them all dingy. I'm sick of her telling me I'm wrong when I'm right. I'm tired of her looking me up and down whenever I get dressed, and having to hear about what she thinks about what I'm wearing. There's a right way to go about something, and a wrong way to go about something, with me she chooses the wrong way. She's nosy about my money, she opened my bank statements and didn't tell me and then said that I needed to get money form my father to cover my living expenses because she knew that I was in the hole. She wanted to constantly talk about money because I was broke, I finally put my foot down and said to stop. Now she says it's hard to talk to me because I've closed the doors on so many conversations. Ok, so I don't talk about money, I don't talk about friends because I have none, I tell her random things about things my grandma sends me, I don't give her details about how I work out, and I've already talked about school, there's nothing to talk about. From the moment I wake up till the time I go to sleep she is aware of my every move, she has to know where I am at all times, and if she can't get ahold of me she spazzes out, yesterday she called my cell phone five times because I wasn't home. I know her game, I'm a woman too, she said she just called to save me the trip home if I was in Dax, we were going to Dax anyway after school and I could just stay there, too bad for her, I left my cell phone at home on purpose because she's the only person that calls me and I didn't want to talk to her. She just wanted to know where I was and what I was doing...LEAVE ME ALONE! She's upset and anxious because she can't talk to me, she's waiting for me to come to her, but I don't want to go to her. If she wants to know she should ask me. If I want to know something, I don't hesitate to ask, if she doesn't want to talk about something she says so, fair enough, I'll do the same if she wants to talk about something I don't want to. I'm a fucking human being, I have a brain and feelings and common sense, she treats me like a friggin animal.
It hurts my feelings that she can't ask me what's wrong, she has to have Eric back her up. I'm a person, I'm a nice person, why can't she just ask me what I think? I don't really want to tell her that I'm leaving, but it needs to be said.
On Wednesday Eric and Isabelle had a discussion with me. It was after I had a dispute with Isabelle about going outside. The middle boy was sitting in the grass and it was cold and wet outside. She told me to go out there, and I said it's cold and wet, I'll watch them from here. Then she jumped up and ran outside to yell at the little boy and I went upstairs to get away from her. The night before I was getting things ready for the kids to go to bed and she was getting the bottles ready for the little ones, she had told the oldest to get into the shower many times and I told him again after he asked to take the bottles up to the little ones, then she told me that it was alright for him to take the bottles up to the kids then get into the shower. As I was walking away I heard him say, "Na-na na-na na-na!" to me. I don't know if in French that's called taunting, but you would never do it to an adult in the US, I told him it wasn't nice and apologies. It just showed me how much he respects me. She said, "What, what did he do?" I re-explained what he had done, because she was standing right there and obviously didn't hear, I asked her if he would do that to his teacher at school and she said, "No" then I asked, "Why is he allowed to do it to me?" She didn't have an answer and then I left the room to get away from her. No respect, one of my good friends has been noticing that I put myself into positions of no respect all my life. This is another one of those positions, that's why I bought a plane ticket.
The talk that Eric and Isabelle had with me was about my mood or attitude. I know we live in this house together, so my mood affects everyone. They said that whenever they wake up in the morning they wonder what the day is going to be like, is Shelley in a good mood today or is she in a bad mood. The amount of work they get done depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I said that was BS because Isabelle can just close the door to her office and not accept anyone, even me. She's done that less than a handful of times. I told her that she never leaves the kids with me, I can name once, she never just drops them. She always is correcting something I'm doing or fixing something that I've done. For a good example, every morning I get the kids ready for school, choose their clothes and everything, she usually come up behind me and changes something. Last night she knew she was going to sleep in so she laid out their clothes so that SHE knew exactly what they were wearing and she wouldn't have to worry. She's neurotic, and a control freak. She can't let me be with the kids. I'd think by now, after eight months of me living here she'd know that I know what to do, I know what I'm doing. I have my job in my hands, the less that she trusts me the less the kids trust me, so they've been horrible to me for the past few weeks.
They told me to choose, either go home, or stay and be happy. That was the ultimatum. I can't promise to change the way I feel. They have to change too. I really don't see Eric helping out more with the house or being with the kids more and being a better person, and I don't really see Isabelle leaving me alone with the kids or leaving me alone. I don't see the kids obeying better or respecting me like they should, so I'm going to save about five months of grief for all of us and just go.
The one thing that bothers me the most about Isabelle is that she cares too much about some things and not enough about other things. The little girl whines and cries, no one does anything about it. The oldest eats the skin on his fingers, he's constantly got his hands in his mouth, and he still sucks his thumb, he's going to be ten in a few months. The youngest child doesn't listen to anyone for anything, and when he doesn't get his way he's impossible. The hardest part is that they don't care about any of this, but they care about how many films they watch in a week or how much they play on the computer.
I'm tired of Isabelle controlling me, what I eat, how much and when. I'm tired of her ruining my clothes, changing the colors and making them all dingy. I'm sick of her telling me I'm wrong when I'm right. I'm tired of her looking me up and down whenever I get dressed, and having to hear about what she thinks about what I'm wearing. There's a right way to go about something, and a wrong way to go about something, with me she chooses the wrong way. She's nosy about my money, she opened my bank statements and didn't tell me and then said that I needed to get money form my father to cover my living expenses because she knew that I was in the hole. She wanted to constantly talk about money because I was broke, I finally put my foot down and said to stop. Now she says it's hard to talk to me because I've closed the doors on so many conversations. Ok, so I don't talk about money, I don't talk about friends because I have none, I tell her random things about things my grandma sends me, I don't give her details about how I work out, and I've already talked about school, there's nothing to talk about. From the moment I wake up till the time I go to sleep she is aware of my every move, she has to know where I am at all times, and if she can't get ahold of me she spazzes out, yesterday she called my cell phone five times because I wasn't home. I know her game, I'm a woman too, she said she just called to save me the trip home if I was in Dax, we were going to Dax anyway after school and I could just stay there, too bad for her, I left my cell phone at home on purpose because she's the only person that calls me and I didn't want to talk to her. She just wanted to know where I was and what I was doing...LEAVE ME ALONE! She's upset and anxious because she can't talk to me, she's waiting for me to come to her, but I don't want to go to her. If she wants to know she should ask me. If I want to know something, I don't hesitate to ask, if she doesn't want to talk about something she says so, fair enough, I'll do the same if she wants to talk about something I don't want to. I'm a fucking human being, I have a brain and feelings and common sense, she treats me like a friggin animal.
It hurts my feelings that she can't ask me what's wrong, she has to have Eric back her up. I'm a person, I'm a nice person, why can't she just ask me what I think? I don't really want to tell her that I'm leaving, but it needs to be said.