(no subject)
...so this was to be expected...i've been happy for a while and i've been surprised but lately i'm just really upset and i'm just getting to my breaking point...i guess i wasn't ever really happy these past couple weeks...yeah i've been smiling but when i think about it i was having a good time but that doesn't mean that i'm happy...does this even make sense?! all i know is that i'm sick of people not giving a damn about me (excluding my family)...it's sooo upsetting to care about people yet you know that when it comes down to it they don't think too much about you and you begin to think you don't mean shit to them...ughh i guess i sound like i'm just complaining but it hurts to care about people so much and in return you get treated like you don't matter...and i don't say anything to anyone because i'm so scared of people getting angry with me...i hate conflict when it comes to my friends. i feel as though they could and would replace me at the drop of a hat and this feeling is killing me...i just don't want them to hate me...i need a good cry and i'm sure that will come tonight yay something to look forward to (sarcasm intended)...whatever i'm done with people...
--i've got a day and a reason why i should not believe in anything, anymore. what's this for? my time well spent. i've got all these memories that i cannot believe in because i don't know where i've been all these years--