(no subject)
I'm going to tell you a tale. This particular tale is one which occurred today at work. Do not confuse it for an allegory in regards to globalism. It is not.
The story starts with our dashing young book seller, PAUL GERSKY. He is very attractive and bright and smart and his grammar and social skills are impeccable. He could probably be out on the town mackin' on all the fly bitches in town for the Super Bowl, but he chose to go to work instead. He was chillaxin' 'round the information desk, doing his job, when a customer who shall now known as STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Do you have the No Nonsense guide to Julius Caesar?
Our hero PAUL then takes STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN to the Shakespeare section which, by the way, is clearly labeled "Shakespeare." On their way to the section, STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN decides to tell PAUL that he walks too fast. PAUL would like to say that perhaps she walks too slowly but he doesn't. She tells him that she recently had some sort of knee surgery. PAUL doesn't care.
PAUL gallantly searches the shelf for a something called the No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar. Such a thing does not exist. At least not at Borders. PAUL points out that such a thing can not be found on the shelf and suggest alternatives.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Oh, you have to have it. All the high schools use these now instead of reading the actual thing.
PAUL doubts that all high school teachers have stopped using actual copies of a Shakespeare play in favor of Spark Notes PAUL has figured out from this woman's description that she's actually looking for Spark Notes which he tells her but she doesn't listen. PAUL offers to check the computer for the item to see if it can be ordered and STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN agrees with this.
PAUL checks the computer to find that there is absolutely nothing called No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar within the Border system. He tells this to STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN and she does not believe him. She says it must be somewhere else in the store. PAUL assures her that Shakespeare tends to get put in the Shakespeare section and if we had a No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar it would probably be with the other simplified guides to Julius Caesar.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN tells PAUL that we must have it because she's been to several other bookstores and they don't have it. PAUL wonders why his store must have something that several other bookstores don't have. He does not say this.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN inquires as to whether or not there are any other bookstores in the area. Paul tells her yes but that it wasn't in the Borders system, so it wouldn't be something that we carried. He then tells the locations of the nearest Barnes and Noble.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, can you use your computer to see if they have it?
PAUL (dumbfounded)
....no, that's not something we can do.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, I need to find out if they have it.
PAUL
I guess I can give you their number.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You need to call them for me.
PAUL
....okay.....
Paul probably shouldn't have to do such a thing, but being the kind soul that he is, he gets the phone book out and calls Barnes and Noble. The number doesn't work. He calls again. Same thing. He tells STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN that the number doesn't work.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You've got to be kidding me.
PAUL
Hahaha. Yeah. Punk'd.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You must've dialed the wrong number.
PAUL
I called twice.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, where is it. I'll just go there.
PAUL
It's in downtown Royal Oak. It's right on Main Street.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Yes, but where is it.
PAUL
....It's in downtown Royal Oak. Right on Main Street.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Never mind. I'll find it myself.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN then hobbles away and mumbles rather loudly something about how we've lost her business.
PAUL thinks to himself, "What business? You were going to Barnes and Noble."
PAUL probably could have taken the extra step and called information to get the number, but he really didn't feel like it.
In conclusion, I hate foreign people.
The story starts with our dashing young book seller, PAUL GERSKY. He is very attractive and bright and smart and his grammar and social skills are impeccable. He could probably be out on the town mackin' on all the fly bitches in town for the Super Bowl, but he chose to go to work instead. He was chillaxin' 'round the information desk, doing his job, when a customer who shall now known as STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Do you have the No Nonsense guide to Julius Caesar?
Our hero PAUL then takes STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN to the Shakespeare section which, by the way, is clearly labeled "Shakespeare." On their way to the section, STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN decides to tell PAUL that he walks too fast. PAUL would like to say that perhaps she walks too slowly but he doesn't. She tells him that she recently had some sort of knee surgery. PAUL doesn't care.
PAUL gallantly searches the shelf for a something called the No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar. Such a thing does not exist. At least not at Borders. PAUL points out that such a thing can not be found on the shelf and suggest alternatives.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Oh, you have to have it. All the high schools use these now instead of reading the actual thing.
PAUL doubts that all high school teachers have stopped using actual copies of a Shakespeare play in favor of Spark Notes PAUL has figured out from this woman's description that she's actually looking for Spark Notes which he tells her but she doesn't listen. PAUL offers to check the computer for the item to see if it can be ordered and STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN agrees with this.
PAUL checks the computer to find that there is absolutely nothing called No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar within the Border system. He tells this to STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN and she does not believe him. She says it must be somewhere else in the store. PAUL assures her that Shakespeare tends to get put in the Shakespeare section and if we had a No Nonsense Guide to Julius Caesar it would probably be with the other simplified guides to Julius Caesar.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN tells PAUL that we must have it because she's been to several other bookstores and they don't have it. PAUL wonders why his store must have something that several other bookstores don't have. He does not say this.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN inquires as to whether or not there are any other bookstores in the area. Paul tells her yes but that it wasn't in the Borders system, so it wouldn't be something that we carried. He then tells the locations of the nearest Barnes and Noble.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, can you use your computer to see if they have it?
PAUL (dumbfounded)
....no, that's not something we can do.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, I need to find out if they have it.
PAUL
I guess I can give you their number.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You need to call them for me.
PAUL
....okay.....
Paul probably shouldn't have to do such a thing, but being the kind soul that he is, he gets the phone book out and calls Barnes and Noble. The number doesn't work. He calls again. Same thing. He tells STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN that the number doesn't work.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You've got to be kidding me.
PAUL
Hahaha. Yeah. Punk'd.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
You must've dialed the wrong number.
PAUL
I called twice.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Well, where is it. I'll just go there.
PAUL
It's in downtown Royal Oak. It's right on Main Street.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Yes, but where is it.
PAUL
....It's in downtown Royal Oak. Right on Main Street.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN
Never mind. I'll find it myself.
STUPID MEXICAN WOMAN then hobbles away and mumbles rather loudly something about how we've lost her business.
PAUL thinks to himself, "What business? You were going to Barnes and Noble."
PAUL probably could have taken the extra step and called information to get the number, but he really didn't feel like it.
In conclusion, I hate foreign people.