just a few skewed observations..
ok, so yesterday as i was taking the free mall shuttle down to the lightrail, i saw a man get on the bus with a very large box. printed on the side of the box it said "large box"
it made me giggle a little bit, and then i thought..wouldnt it be nice if EVERYTHING in life were that blatantly obvious?
How much simpler would it be if everyone and everything in life were just that simple and clear?
I also saw a fox on the side of the lightrail tracks, it caught a rabbit and then laid down and started eating it. which then reminded me how true that is.. you either run scared and end up being eaten, or be the one doing the catching and killing. im sick and tired of laying down and allowing myself to get caught up in these mundane bullshit situations. ive never done anything to deserve anything but respect and honesty from people. so i think from this point on ive basically just had it. people seem to enjoy bringing the bitch out of me. so fine.. dont need to provoke me anymore.. you want to see it.. its on the table now and you need not ask for it.
My plans for a place to stay in Manchester have pretty much bit the dust considering it looks as though a certain someone doesnt want to talk with me any longer. given the fact that ive been COMPLETELY ignored/avoided the past couple days.
Oh well i guess. I suppose it was just a funny joke? or some sort of game? I REALLY despise people who play games too. especially with my emotions.
I wont point fingers or say fuck you's etc etc. i just hope that this person knows how much it hurts to not have them just be an adult and be honest with me. i can accept the fact if theyve chosen to move on in their life. just simply say it.
Benjamin is STILL sick.. i think he may have an ear infection.. or maybe hes cutting some more teeth? he keeps rubbing on his gums.
He has been such a mega-crab lately though and today after work i picked him up from my brothers house and he was just not himself. he was so sleepy/lethargic and then i decided id take him to eat. We stopped first at Gunther toodys and i waited for about 20 minutes and NOBODY came to take an order for my drinks so i just packed up my shit and walked out.
thatll be the last time i ever go to eat there again. bullshit.
Then we decided to go to Dickeys BBQ. and ben threw a MAJOR hissy fit. he threw himself on the ground, threw his cup across the floor, kicked his shoes off and threw them too and started screaming at the top of his lungs.
so i whispered to him i was going to spank him if he didnt stop and he started to throw a bigger fit, so i spanked him and put him in the corner at the restaurant and ate my dinner and then boxed his up and we left.
the MOMENT we got into the car i yelled at him and let him know how uncool it was to act like that in the restaurant and he stopped crying instantly. :rolls eyes:
then we get home and im talking to Angel on the phone and ben starts throwing ANOTHER fit on the grass outside. and he wont walk to the stairs or hold my hand or anything. Just like i had to drag his ass out of Dickeys, i had to drag him up the stairs to the apartment.
I honestly DONT know whats up with him lately im just hoping that hes sick and its not a phase i have to deal with much longer.
hes sleeping now on my bed. so maybe he was just tired?
i dunno. i feel helpless in these situations sometimes and its SO frustrating being that im the ONLY parent and it all falls into my lap to control and fix. :sigh:
Angel made a good suggestion though that maybe i should find a "mommy and me" class, i dunno if they offer a cheap one or one for free though out here but i cant afford anything too pricey.
i better go hop into the shower though now and get ready for bed. im so exhausted only tomorrow and friday, then monday and tuesday left on this shitty schedule and then ill work 3pm to 11pm tue-sat.
Although i have this weekend off and i move friday, sat, sun and then work mon and tues 8am to 4:30pm and then wed-fri 3pm to 11pm. then ill have sat. sun and mon off 3 day weekends are TEH SEX!!
i was on a final written notice for work for missing last friday at work. buuuuut.. my manager came and talked to me (troy) hes such a sweet/funny guy. hes got a kid and hes married and all and he said "look i like you, youre a great girl and i completely understand what its like being a parent etc when your kids are sick so instead of a final written warning im going to drop it to a verbal and itll drop off your record after 60 days POOF! ok?? and by the way ive got you your vacation time set for your trip to the UK in november so dont even worry about it youre all set hun!"
i havent EVER had such a good boss. i think ill really like working for him.
Oh ok.. im headed to the tub now..
nitey nite folks. <3
it made me giggle a little bit, and then i thought..wouldnt it be nice if EVERYTHING in life were that blatantly obvious?
How much simpler would it be if everyone and everything in life were just that simple and clear?
I also saw a fox on the side of the lightrail tracks, it caught a rabbit and then laid down and started eating it. which then reminded me how true that is.. you either run scared and end up being eaten, or be the one doing the catching and killing. im sick and tired of laying down and allowing myself to get caught up in these mundane bullshit situations. ive never done anything to deserve anything but respect and honesty from people. so i think from this point on ive basically just had it. people seem to enjoy bringing the bitch out of me. so fine.. dont need to provoke me anymore.. you want to see it.. its on the table now and you need not ask for it.
My plans for a place to stay in Manchester have pretty much bit the dust considering it looks as though a certain someone doesnt want to talk with me any longer. given the fact that ive been COMPLETELY ignored/avoided the past couple days.
Oh well i guess. I suppose it was just a funny joke? or some sort of game? I REALLY despise people who play games too. especially with my emotions.
I wont point fingers or say fuck you's etc etc. i just hope that this person knows how much it hurts to not have them just be an adult and be honest with me. i can accept the fact if theyve chosen to move on in their life. just simply say it.
Benjamin is STILL sick.. i think he may have an ear infection.. or maybe hes cutting some more teeth? he keeps rubbing on his gums.
He has been such a mega-crab lately though and today after work i picked him up from my brothers house and he was just not himself. he was so sleepy/lethargic and then i decided id take him to eat. We stopped first at Gunther toodys and i waited for about 20 minutes and NOBODY came to take an order for my drinks so i just packed up my shit and walked out.
thatll be the last time i ever go to eat there again. bullshit.
Then we decided to go to Dickeys BBQ. and ben threw a MAJOR hissy fit. he threw himself on the ground, threw his cup across the floor, kicked his shoes off and threw them too and started screaming at the top of his lungs.
so i whispered to him i was going to spank him if he didnt stop and he started to throw a bigger fit, so i spanked him and put him in the corner at the restaurant and ate my dinner and then boxed his up and we left.
the MOMENT we got into the car i yelled at him and let him know how uncool it was to act like that in the restaurant and he stopped crying instantly. :rolls eyes:
then we get home and im talking to Angel on the phone and ben starts throwing ANOTHER fit on the grass outside. and he wont walk to the stairs or hold my hand or anything. Just like i had to drag his ass out of Dickeys, i had to drag him up the stairs to the apartment.
I honestly DONT know whats up with him lately im just hoping that hes sick and its not a phase i have to deal with much longer.
hes sleeping now on my bed. so maybe he was just tired?
i dunno. i feel helpless in these situations sometimes and its SO frustrating being that im the ONLY parent and it all falls into my lap to control and fix. :sigh:
Angel made a good suggestion though that maybe i should find a "mommy and me" class, i dunno if they offer a cheap one or one for free though out here but i cant afford anything too pricey.
i better go hop into the shower though now and get ready for bed. im so exhausted only tomorrow and friday, then monday and tuesday left on this shitty schedule and then ill work 3pm to 11pm tue-sat.
Although i have this weekend off and i move friday, sat, sun and then work mon and tues 8am to 4:30pm and then wed-fri 3pm to 11pm. then ill have sat. sun and mon off 3 day weekends are TEH SEX!!
i was on a final written notice for work for missing last friday at work. buuuuut.. my manager came and talked to me (troy) hes such a sweet/funny guy. hes got a kid and hes married and all and he said "look i like you, youre a great girl and i completely understand what its like being a parent etc when your kids are sick so instead of a final written warning im going to drop it to a verbal and itll drop off your record after 60 days POOF! ok?? and by the way ive got you your vacation time set for your trip to the UK in november so dont even worry about it youre all set hun!"
i havent EVER had such a good boss. i think ill really like working for him.
Oh ok.. im headed to the tub now..
nitey nite folks. <3