(no subject)
I shot in a jack-o-latern dress on last weekend. I almost forgot that Halloween is so soon. I have a feeling that today is going to be rather hectic. Mr. Trenton is being Luigi this year, and when we take him trick-or-treating this evening, I will be wearing a Princess Peach costume. Why is she Princess Peach now? When I was a kid, she was Princess Toadstool. Upon research, I've determined that Princess Toadstool was an American thing, and in Japan, she was always Princess Peach. Odd. Tonight, TJ and I are going to Allburghers with my cousins for their annual Halloween party. We are going as Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega. We've been planning to do this for several years, but TJ's hair is only now long enough for it. I will not be smoking cigarettes, but I am contemplating carrying some around for novelty purposes.
On another note, yesterday, I saw someone who reminded me of what my former best friend really thinks of me. This person basically served as my replacement. My friend hung out with TJ and I all of them time and over time, started blowing us off to hang out with another couple. It was the most bizarre thing. I don't really quite get how someone who claims to be so well-adjusted engages in such immature behavior. My friend and I were very close, and I don't even know how or when it went wrong because he never gave me a reason. He didn't even let me know that our friendship was ending. He stopped returning my calls. He rarely would respond to any sort of contact.
Eventually, he would leave me a comment on a LiveJournal he shouldn't have even known the name to to let me know that we have little in common and that he is giving us "space." He insulted my parenting, my relationship with TJ and worst of all, my emotional problems and the way I've been dealing with them. At this point, we had talked maybe twice in that in the past year or more. He disrespected me by coming to my wedding reception and then leaving abruptly, never having said goodbye. It took him a year to tell me that that was because he was upset because someone we both used to be friends with was ignoring him. What? So you disrespected me because someone, who made it clear they didn't want to be your friend, didn't acknowledge you?
He made my decision to change journal names that much easier. Though I'm sure he has found me through the usual channels and is reading this right now because he "cares." Someone who cares about me actually shows desire to spend time with me. They call me. They support me. They don't come to my journal to tell me that everything wrong with my life is all my fault because I'm somehow unstable. They don't assume things about the lifestyle I live and how it will affect my child. They don't assume that my child is neglected because I'm modeling regularly now. He has no idea how my life works or even how my family life operates, especially now that we're out on our own. He talked to me 2-3 times since I've been married, and I've been married for a year and almost 7 months. He hasn't talked to me at all since we're moved into our own house. It wasn't for lack of trying on my part. I was so sad that our friendship erupted for reasons that are still left nebulous. But that sadness? It was replaced with resent.
So, when I see my replacement friend, when I have to drive by his house everyday, every time his boyfriend makes a Facebook post, I am hit with a flood of emotions, the wound that only time can heal. Had I done something to him, I would take responsibility for it, as I have done in the past, but now, it's all on him. Sometimes, it still hurts me to know that I can change nothing.
On another note, yesterday, I saw someone who reminded me of what my former best friend really thinks of me. This person basically served as my replacement. My friend hung out with TJ and I all of them time and over time, started blowing us off to hang out with another couple. It was the most bizarre thing. I don't really quite get how someone who claims to be so well-adjusted engages in such immature behavior. My friend and I were very close, and I don't even know how or when it went wrong because he never gave me a reason. He didn't even let me know that our friendship was ending. He stopped returning my calls. He rarely would respond to any sort of contact.
Eventually, he would leave me a comment on a LiveJournal he shouldn't have even known the name to to let me know that we have little in common and that he is giving us "space." He insulted my parenting, my relationship with TJ and worst of all, my emotional problems and the way I've been dealing with them. At this point, we had talked maybe twice in that in the past year or more. He disrespected me by coming to my wedding reception and then leaving abruptly, never having said goodbye. It took him a year to tell me that that was because he was upset because someone we both used to be friends with was ignoring him. What? So you disrespected me because someone, who made it clear they didn't want to be your friend, didn't acknowledge you?
He made my decision to change journal names that much easier. Though I'm sure he has found me through the usual channels and is reading this right now because he "cares." Someone who cares about me actually shows desire to spend time with me. They call me. They support me. They don't come to my journal to tell me that everything wrong with my life is all my fault because I'm somehow unstable. They don't assume things about the lifestyle I live and how it will affect my child. They don't assume that my child is neglected because I'm modeling regularly now. He has no idea how my life works or even how my family life operates, especially now that we're out on our own. He talked to me 2-3 times since I've been married, and I've been married for a year and almost 7 months. He hasn't talked to me at all since we're moved into our own house. It wasn't for lack of trying on my part. I was so sad that our friendship erupted for reasons that are still left nebulous. But that sadness? It was replaced with resent.
So, when I see my replacement friend, when I have to drive by his house everyday, every time his boyfriend makes a Facebook post, I am hit with a flood of emotions, the wound that only time can heal. Had I done something to him, I would take responsibility for it, as I have done in the past, but now, it's all on him. Sometimes, it still hurts me to know that I can change nothing.