(no subject)
There have been some big changes going on inside of me. I would say that, right now, I am probably the best that I've been since my problems came to a head last year. I've been stimulating myself in very positive ways. I've set goals and standards that I know that I can meet. I don't feel anxious every moment of every day. I haven't had even the beginnings of a panic attack in quite some time now. I find myself pushing myself a little bit harder to get out and do the things that I used to do.
I find myself caring more about the things that were important to me in the past and less about those things that turned out to not be all that important and fulfilling. I can safely say that my stress levels are pretty well cut in half when compared with last year or the year prior.
I still find myself having to come to terms with issues that I have with reality. That I exist. That my sense are not falling me. That my mind is just as sound as it has always been and in some ways, even better. I am having to remind myself that I am surviving this. I have lived through the worst part of my battle, and I can only continue to improve at this point. In many ways, I've grown. I have gotten a thicker skin. I am letting go of things more easily.
Me -- I have centered my existence, from start and hopefully to finish, in caring about things, people, ideas. I want to make an impact, change the world. I want to feel. I want to breathe.
These past few years, I have really started to appreciate my heritage/surroundings. I know that I'm lucky to live in one of the most beautiful states in the union. Every mountain, valley, cave, forest, stream and lake runs through me. I don't constantly need something going on to please me because I create what's going on for myself. I like that I can go to the city or retreat into the quiet of the country. I love driving through multiple different terrains on my way to work every day.
Unless you know me in real life, you probably don't realize that my dad is pretty much king of the hippies around here. As a result, I've gotten a taste for some local music, music in general that probably doesn't seem like it matches my personality. I've branched out and have gone to hippy gatherings a few times in the past year. Hard to believe, right? In the city, I want a goth club to feel like myself. In the country, I can be anywhere! Lets get a bottle of rum and get drunk in the middle of the woods, K?
I find myself caring more about the things that were important to me in the past and less about those things that turned out to not be all that important and fulfilling. I can safely say that my stress levels are pretty well cut in half when compared with last year or the year prior.
I still find myself having to come to terms with issues that I have with reality. That I exist. That my sense are not falling me. That my mind is just as sound as it has always been and in some ways, even better. I am having to remind myself that I am surviving this. I have lived through the worst part of my battle, and I can only continue to improve at this point. In many ways, I've grown. I have gotten a thicker skin. I am letting go of things more easily.
Me -- I have centered my existence, from start and hopefully to finish, in caring about things, people, ideas. I want to make an impact, change the world. I want to feel. I want to breathe.
These past few years, I have really started to appreciate my heritage/surroundings. I know that I'm lucky to live in one of the most beautiful states in the union. Every mountain, valley, cave, forest, stream and lake runs through me. I don't constantly need something going on to please me because I create what's going on for myself. I like that I can go to the city or retreat into the quiet of the country. I love driving through multiple different terrains on my way to work every day.
Unless you know me in real life, you probably don't realize that my dad is pretty much king of the hippies around here. As a result, I've gotten a taste for some local music, music in general that probably doesn't seem like it matches my personality. I've branched out and have gone to hippy gatherings a few times in the past year. Hard to believe, right? In the city, I want a goth club to feel like myself. In the country, I can be anywhere! Lets get a bottle of rum and get drunk in the middle of the woods, K?