(no subject)
Everyone feels, at some point, like they'd rather be doing anything else, that the world they live in is grim, that they'd just can't take it any more. I have experienced this, I don't want to say more than usual, because I've been through rougher patches, I'm sure. But I have experienced this more than I'd really like. I should come to accept that every other year of my life will be a reformatting life for a while.
2006 was good for me as far as confidence is concerned, but really bad in that I was fucked over my other people to a ridiculous level. Ask oneboyarmy; he went through it, too.
2007, I was under an insane amount of stress, went through some horrible emotional drama/ended friendships. It was pretty damned awful, to say the least. I ended the year in transition, after quitting a job that was making me crazy.
2008 was great for me. I bought two cars, got engaged, had steady (and heavy) cash flow, got to work in different towns and see different things. I was not at all prepared for this years downfall.
2009, the year I got married -- something that should be the best year of my life, but it wasn't. Hormonal changes that led to therapy/still feeling abnormal/not knowing if I'll ever see the world the same way again; health problems exceeding my total for most of the past 10 years; getting laid off from the big money job; having TJ get laid off a month before me and despite having saved money, plummeting into a debt, we're only now able to out of; getting a new job with crazy hours that makes me really confused about time/leads to sleep deprivation/doesn't pay even half of my normal job; having a ridiculous amount of stress continued to be thrust upon me by the in-laws....
I hope that 2010 is kinder to me because I know I'm in transition again. The money is back, Trenton is doing better in school, I'm regaining comfort and security in my relationship and we're getting ready to move out soon.
My biggest enemy, right now, is myself. Until I make peace with myself, I don't think I'll be able to truly be happy. I am having a huge amount of self esteem issues as of late. I know that I can overcome them; I always do. I just need to keep marching forward as I have been, to brighter moments.
2006 was good for me as far as confidence is concerned, but really bad in that I was fucked over my other people to a ridiculous level. Ask oneboyarmy; he went through it, too.
2007, I was under an insane amount of stress, went through some horrible emotional drama/ended friendships. It was pretty damned awful, to say the least. I ended the year in transition, after quitting a job that was making me crazy.
2008 was great for me. I bought two cars, got engaged, had steady (and heavy) cash flow, got to work in different towns and see different things. I was not at all prepared for this years downfall.
2009, the year I got married -- something that should be the best year of my life, but it wasn't. Hormonal changes that led to therapy/still feeling abnormal/not knowing if I'll ever see the world the same way again; health problems exceeding my total for most of the past 10 years; getting laid off from the big money job; having TJ get laid off a month before me and despite having saved money, plummeting into a debt, we're only now able to out of; getting a new job with crazy hours that makes me really confused about time/leads to sleep deprivation/doesn't pay even half of my normal job; having a ridiculous amount of stress continued to be thrust upon me by the in-laws....
I hope that 2010 is kinder to me because I know I'm in transition again. The money is back, Trenton is doing better in school, I'm regaining comfort and security in my relationship and we're getting ready to move out soon.
My biggest enemy, right now, is myself. Until I make peace with myself, I don't think I'll be able to truly be happy. I am having a huge amount of self esteem issues as of late. I know that I can overcome them; I always do. I just need to keep marching forward as I have been, to brighter moments.