She's Gone.
Even though she did annoying things, sometimes, it still kills me that my friend went away. She was in my life so heavily for all of those years, and in an instant, she ran away because of something that wasn't even my fault. I didn't do anything to her. I didn't try to ruin her life. I never said a discouraging word to her. I supported her
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It's also sad that there are so called friends or people that we've thought of as friends who can't handle the truth to the point of lashing out to somebody who's only trying to be true to the relationship.
Some friends aren't really friends at all but pose at it because we're giving them an ego-stroke whether we know it or not.
If she knew and still cut you off for bursting her bubble then really you're better off. I prefer it when my friends actually call me out on my shit. It might piss me off when they do it but at least I'm there enough inside to know that they're my friends and they'd not intentionally want to hurt me. Like you didn't want to hurt her.
Mourn the friendship if it was a good one but learn from the relationship and see it as a good way to not let a person who calls themselves a friend do that/put you in that position again.
Gotta go' I'll check back to see how you're doing later, i have to finish my shift now.
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1.) The guy who told me about it could have lied in order to cover himself/the person it was most directly about. Which could be the case since he was wronging me at the time too.
2.) She was always real with me but was rarely real with herself. She would tell the world one thing and believe it while telling me her true feelings. My information threatened the fake life she created for herself.
3.) She told me at one point she was in love with me. I don't know if she believed that I told her what I did to sabotage her relationship so that could happen, but that definitely wasn't the case. Being in love with me also threatened the image she created. I suppose that she either believed the wrong people or thought the only way to kill her feelings for me was to demonize me.
I have run all of these scenarios through my head over the past few years, but I guess it doesn't matter in the end. Regardless of the fact that I feel it was injustice and I miss what was between us, it doesn't change what happened or how it happened. It's amazing how one conversation can completely undo four years of friendship out of nowhere. It wasn't like we were on bad terms. I guess that I was the only person she could choose to blame, since she wasn't willing to blame the right people.
Thank you for the good advice.
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