A Couple Gender Stereoypes and How I Experienced the Opposite.
1.) Women only want a wealthy man and his money.
My last two relationships (and several before) were with unwealthy men. I'm talking...no jobs or attempt to get them, no money of their own, one still lived with his parents and both never had drivers licenses. Naturally, since I am not so much wealthy as reasonably well-off, they took it upon themselves to bleed me dry. One of them, I completely financially supported -- food, housing, clothes, novelties, tobacco, etc.. The other chose to keep asking me for food, money and novelties long after the relationship had ended. If the latter could not get money from me, he would whine and beg, even as I continued to say "no." He was critical of how I managed my finances, and told me I should be able to give him the things he wanted because I was "good for it." He kept asking to move in with me, even when I was still in a relationship with someone else, and when I repeatedly told him "no" and that I couldn't afford another mouth to feed, he told me that I didn't really care about him. After the friendship (if you can call it that) ended, he went around telling everyone he could that I used HIM. The former guilted me after our break-up for kicking him out of my house because he "had nowhere to go," and even before the break-up, constantly told me that I never did anything for him. Two relationships put me out of several thousand dollars, and it is still beyond me why I continued to put up with it.
You see, I've never looked at a man with dollar signs in my eyes. Even in my marriage, we had kept our finances separate. We helped each other out, but nothing was expected of the other. We took care of our own responsibilities. I see someone taking up a check on a dinner date as a treat because usually, I'm the one who pays. I don't expect that a man should pay for me, just because he's a man.
2.) A woman will try to trap you by getting pregnant or claiming to be pregnant.
Again, in the last two relationships, I was open about how, eventually, I wanted at least one more child. It wasn't something I tried to do with either of them. We took proper precautions, and I wasn't about to have another child with my life in chaos as it was. Neither of them knew if they wanted children, and they knew that, if we made it that far, we wouldn't have lasted when that bridge was crossed. As a woman in my late 20s, I knew exactly what I wanted. When I broke up with ex number 1, he told me that he wanted to get me pregnant so that I would stay. Naturally, I rejected him. He kept begging me after the breakup, to which I never obliged. Ex number 2 noticed that I was becoming disinterested in him romantically well AFTER we'd broken up. He'd look at me and tell me he wanted to procreate with me because he thought that would make me stay. When we WERE together, he told me that he wanted to have a kid with me during an argument because he thought I was leaving. He used this tactic several times to manipulate me into staying with him. Once the two of them realized that I wasn't taking either of them back, they then openly told me that they never want to have children anyway.
I have a hard time accepting any gender stereotypes because they really shouldn't exist. There is nothing in our biology that says that women should like pink and take three hours doing their hair and makeup. There is nothing saying that men must like sports or be sloven. These things are societal constructs, and nothing more. We perpetuate them. Unfortunately, we still live in a world where women are still valued as lesser to a man, but those negative experiences that men may have had in relationships? Women have also experienced those same thing from men, and I am proof.
My last two relationships (and several before) were with unwealthy men. I'm talking...no jobs or attempt to get them, no money of their own, one still lived with his parents and both never had drivers licenses. Naturally, since I am not so much wealthy as reasonably well-off, they took it upon themselves to bleed me dry. One of them, I completely financially supported -- food, housing, clothes, novelties, tobacco, etc.. The other chose to keep asking me for food, money and novelties long after the relationship had ended. If the latter could not get money from me, he would whine and beg, even as I continued to say "no." He was critical of how I managed my finances, and told me I should be able to give him the things he wanted because I was "good for it." He kept asking to move in with me, even when I was still in a relationship with someone else, and when I repeatedly told him "no" and that I couldn't afford another mouth to feed, he told me that I didn't really care about him. After the friendship (if you can call it that) ended, he went around telling everyone he could that I used HIM. The former guilted me after our break-up for kicking him out of my house because he "had nowhere to go," and even before the break-up, constantly told me that I never did anything for him. Two relationships put me out of several thousand dollars, and it is still beyond me why I continued to put up with it.
You see, I've never looked at a man with dollar signs in my eyes. Even in my marriage, we had kept our finances separate. We helped each other out, but nothing was expected of the other. We took care of our own responsibilities. I see someone taking up a check on a dinner date as a treat because usually, I'm the one who pays. I don't expect that a man should pay for me, just because he's a man.
2.) A woman will try to trap you by getting pregnant or claiming to be pregnant.
Again, in the last two relationships, I was open about how, eventually, I wanted at least one more child. It wasn't something I tried to do with either of them. We took proper precautions, and I wasn't about to have another child with my life in chaos as it was. Neither of them knew if they wanted children, and they knew that, if we made it that far, we wouldn't have lasted when that bridge was crossed. As a woman in my late 20s, I knew exactly what I wanted. When I broke up with ex number 1, he told me that he wanted to get me pregnant so that I would stay. Naturally, I rejected him. He kept begging me after the breakup, to which I never obliged. Ex number 2 noticed that I was becoming disinterested in him romantically well AFTER we'd broken up. He'd look at me and tell me he wanted to procreate with me because he thought that would make me stay. When we WERE together, he told me that he wanted to have a kid with me during an argument because he thought I was leaving. He used this tactic several times to manipulate me into staying with him. Once the two of them realized that I wasn't taking either of them back, they then openly told me that they never want to have children anyway.
I have a hard time accepting any gender stereotypes because they really shouldn't exist. There is nothing in our biology that says that women should like pink and take three hours doing their hair and makeup. There is nothing saying that men must like sports or be sloven. These things are societal constructs, and nothing more. We perpetuate them. Unfortunately, we still live in a world where women are still valued as lesser to a man, but those negative experiences that men may have had in relationships? Women have also experienced those same thing from men, and I am proof.