0457.
Life has been strange since my departure from the farm that I made my home for nearly ten years. I am 28 years old, and this is the first time I’ve really been on my own. I lived in a single room in a doom 10 years ago, but that isn’t nearly like being in my own apartment.
Clinton stays with me a lot, and he has been helping me out here and there because financially, things are tough. I was supposed to receive my paycheck a week ago, and it still hasn’t come. I’ve had to borrow money just to be able to come to work. If it wasn’t for Clinton, I wouldn’t have much to eat or drink at my place. I don’t have enough money to buy a new pack of cigarettes. I’m not used to this style of living, and I hope that the arrival of my paycheck softens the blow.
I still miss TJ a lot. I think about him probably everyday. I’m trying hard to remember that there are real reasons why we can’t be together, otherwise we wouldn’t be in this place at all. I would still be in the house we created together.
I can’t be sure how things will develop. I know that I’m happy with Clinton, and this new freedom takes a lot of stress off of me. I know that I have amazing friends who have provided a lot of comfort in my time of need. I know that I’ve probably ruffled a lot of feathers. I know there are probably people out there who believe I left TJ to be with Clinton, but that isn’t the case.
I miss my son a lot because I don’t get to see him much throughout the week. I cherish the moments we can spend together. I miss a lot of other things/people, but my life isn’t going that direction right now. It amazes me still how so much can be left uncertain. How did I go from where I was to where I am? I imagine that this is how things were supposed to play out, but I still have a hard time understanding the whys. I probably always will.
Clinton stays with me a lot, and he has been helping me out here and there because financially, things are tough. I was supposed to receive my paycheck a week ago, and it still hasn’t come. I’ve had to borrow money just to be able to come to work. If it wasn’t for Clinton, I wouldn’t have much to eat or drink at my place. I don’t have enough money to buy a new pack of cigarettes. I’m not used to this style of living, and I hope that the arrival of my paycheck softens the blow.
I still miss TJ a lot. I think about him probably everyday. I’m trying hard to remember that there are real reasons why we can’t be together, otherwise we wouldn’t be in this place at all. I would still be in the house we created together.
I can’t be sure how things will develop. I know that I’m happy with Clinton, and this new freedom takes a lot of stress off of me. I know that I have amazing friends who have provided a lot of comfort in my time of need. I know that I’ve probably ruffled a lot of feathers. I know there are probably people out there who believe I left TJ to be with Clinton, but that isn’t the case.
I miss my son a lot because I don’t get to see him much throughout the week. I cherish the moments we can spend together. I miss a lot of other things/people, but my life isn’t going that direction right now. It amazes me still how so much can be left uncertain. How did I go from where I was to where I am? I imagine that this is how things were supposed to play out, but I still have a hard time understanding the whys. I probably always will.