0410.
The blizzard aftermath left me without power for a day and a half (in addition to a few hours the day before). This will be the second greatest shower of my life, second only to post-childbirth. [We don't have water when we don't have power because there is nothing to power our water pump.] Trenton stayed with the in-laws last night, as per his usual Saturday night routine; so, I went to Elaine's with TJ and our two dogs. TJ left early in the morning with Mikey, and Darcy and I stayed behind. It was nice to do something on Sunday, though. Usually, I feel completely crappy on Sundays. I've always found them to be bland and depressing. But with good company, it doesn't matter what day it is. When TJ came to pick me up, he brought Trenton, and we picked up some dinner. By the time we got back home, power was had!
In a few weeks, I have a photo shoot, in which I have to fit into a designer dress that is made of a material that doesn't easily give and is belly baring. So, the other day, I bought a new Denise Austin workout to supplement my workout on non-gym days. One of the first things I was resolved to do when I got power back was to start it. I'm about 126 right now, and I'd like to be at least below 125 again before this shoot happens. I think 123 would be ideal, but any extra would be welcome, too. I know that in about 5 lbs, I will have dropped another pant size and will be fitting comfortably in all of my 5s and some of my 4s. This workout, which is amped up pilates, is brutal. I am doing a 21-day program right now, and if this doesn't get me where I want to go, nothing will. One of the positive aspects of being on my anti-depressants, is that, not only is my metabolism working more efficiently, but I have more energy during my workouts. I have been heavily monitoring what I've been eating lately, too. I think that I'm likely to feel much better about myself this year than I have in a couple years. I know that this can only benefit my modeling endeavors. My confidence will make it a lot easier to focus on what I'm trying to accomplish, rather than being hung up on the flaws that I exaggerate in my head.
Leila is coming in 23 days, and that is another good motivator to get into shape. I've also felt so much more motivated to better myself in general. I have been reading and writing, revamping here and there. I've been better focussed on things that are important to me. I've been drowning myself in music (and my love of vinyl records). I feel like I'm rediscovering my identity that was crushed under the weight of my anxiety/depression/PMDD. I am optimistic about this year, and I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction. I had a full blown panic attack the other night, but it didn't cause me to backslide! I am not sitting around wondering when the next one will happen because I am not worried, which is an amazing place to be.
In a few weeks, I have a photo shoot, in which I have to fit into a designer dress that is made of a material that doesn't easily give and is belly baring. So, the other day, I bought a new Denise Austin workout to supplement my workout on non-gym days. One of the first things I was resolved to do when I got power back was to start it. I'm about 126 right now, and I'd like to be at least below 125 again before this shoot happens. I think 123 would be ideal, but any extra would be welcome, too. I know that in about 5 lbs, I will have dropped another pant size and will be fitting comfortably in all of my 5s and some of my 4s. This workout, which is amped up pilates, is brutal. I am doing a 21-day program right now, and if this doesn't get me where I want to go, nothing will. One of the positive aspects of being on my anti-depressants, is that, not only is my metabolism working more efficiently, but I have more energy during my workouts. I have been heavily monitoring what I've been eating lately, too. I think that I'm likely to feel much better about myself this year than I have in a couple years. I know that this can only benefit my modeling endeavors. My confidence will make it a lot easier to focus on what I'm trying to accomplish, rather than being hung up on the flaws that I exaggerate in my head.
Leila is coming in 23 days, and that is another good motivator to get into shape. I've also felt so much more motivated to better myself in general. I have been reading and writing, revamping here and there. I've been better focussed on things that are important to me. I've been drowning myself in music (and my love of vinyl records). I feel like I'm rediscovering my identity that was crushed under the weight of my anxiety/depression/PMDD. I am optimistic about this year, and I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction. I had a full blown panic attack the other night, but it didn't cause me to backslide! I am not sitting around wondering when the next one will happen because I am not worried, which is an amazing place to be.