Abandonment
I feel abandoned by every one right now. I've lost touch with so many people over the last month. It seems that no one wants to talk to me. I don't know what I did wrong, I feel like I'm being crucified right now. I'm watching everyone that I loved as friends tear me down emotionally. Nobody calls me anymore to just hang out, it's like I'm unwanted in the world. Death sometimes seems like the only option to get rid of this pain. I may look grown up, and act grown up, but emotionally I'm not ready to recieve this fuckin cruel world as an adult. Everybody is making plans for the summer and I have none, and it seems no one wants me included in these plans. People said this summer would be great, but this summer has been more full of hurt and pain than I could have ever imagined. Maybe I will move and say fuck everyone, but I can't do that to people. Especially people I call me friends.
Last night I got really stoned with pat and wade, and although it was a crazey night, it ended up with me puking on the side of the road and passing out. I feel lost in my destination through life. Drinking and smoking weed is not what I consider fun anymore. I would rather sit down and watch a movie with someone who I consider special and close to my heart, but it's hard to find a girl who has a happy medium, who likes going out once and a while, but who also likes to stay in and watch a movie every once and a while. You know, I've come to the conclusion that girls are freakin evil, and that I should just stay away from them. I had a girlfriend once who actually truely loved me for who I was, who just liked to hang out and talk, and get together with some close friends and just dirnk a bit, but I threw her to the side. I was an asshole and I know that. If I would have just stayed with her, if I would not have been such an ass, such a goddamn dick, then I would have never been hurt the first time, and I wouldn't be hurting now. It was only last summer. Only one fuckin year ago, but it seems like it was 10 years ago. Maybe luke's view is the correct view, if you don't care, you won't get hurt. Maybe if I just stop caring I'll stop hurting.
Deep Ocean of Sorrow
-Sorrow is like a deep ocean
-A potion that does nothing but bring bad emotion
-You try to get through to the light
-But before you break through you lose your sight
-Your sense of direction
-And sense of affection
-You see yourself hurting the ones you love
-You can't stop till you give them that final shove
-They stop caring, nothing you do matters
-Your Life was held in a mirror that's been shattered
-Because in it held a perfect picture of you
-But what it holds now you don't have a clue
-You look at the shattered pieces and realize what you have done
-You look at the reflections and search for the one
-The one that holds happiness inside
-Not for the one with anger or hate, or the one that lies
-As you search through the pieces in a flurry
-You cut yourself and your life becomes blurry
-You cry out for help in mortal pain
-Your cries are drowned out by the rain
-The rain inside you that's here to stay
-Not even the sun can shine through this dismal cloud
-Yet a single soul hears your cries
-And it's the one closest to your heart wh tries
-As they lunge forward to pull you through
-Just like the ocean, sorrow swallows you
-In the end it was to late
-In the end it was your fate
-Don't ever live to regret mistakes you think you might have made, just remember, there may be two people in a relationship, but it only takes one to fuck it up. Just don't be that fuck up. Think before you act, and act before it's to late. My life may not seem to be going the way I wanted it to right now, but that doesn't mean I can't continue to influence other people's lives no matter how bad it may get.
Last night I got really stoned with pat and wade, and although it was a crazey night, it ended up with me puking on the side of the road and passing out. I feel lost in my destination through life. Drinking and smoking weed is not what I consider fun anymore. I would rather sit down and watch a movie with someone who I consider special and close to my heart, but it's hard to find a girl who has a happy medium, who likes going out once and a while, but who also likes to stay in and watch a movie every once and a while. You know, I've come to the conclusion that girls are freakin evil, and that I should just stay away from them. I had a girlfriend once who actually truely loved me for who I was, who just liked to hang out and talk, and get together with some close friends and just dirnk a bit, but I threw her to the side. I was an asshole and I know that. If I would have just stayed with her, if I would not have been such an ass, such a goddamn dick, then I would have never been hurt the first time, and I wouldn't be hurting now. It was only last summer. Only one fuckin year ago, but it seems like it was 10 years ago. Maybe luke's view is the correct view, if you don't care, you won't get hurt. Maybe if I just stop caring I'll stop hurting.
Deep Ocean of Sorrow
-Sorrow is like a deep ocean
-A potion that does nothing but bring bad emotion
-You try to get through to the light
-But before you break through you lose your sight
-Your sense of direction
-And sense of affection
-You see yourself hurting the ones you love
-You can't stop till you give them that final shove
-They stop caring, nothing you do matters
-Your Life was held in a mirror that's been shattered
-Because in it held a perfect picture of you
-But what it holds now you don't have a clue
-You look at the shattered pieces and realize what you have done
-You look at the reflections and search for the one
-The one that holds happiness inside
-Not for the one with anger or hate, or the one that lies
-As you search through the pieces in a flurry
-You cut yourself and your life becomes blurry
-You cry out for help in mortal pain
-Your cries are drowned out by the rain
-The rain inside you that's here to stay
-Not even the sun can shine through this dismal cloud
-Yet a single soul hears your cries
-And it's the one closest to your heart wh tries
-As they lunge forward to pull you through
-Just like the ocean, sorrow swallows you
-In the end it was to late
-In the end it was your fate
-Don't ever live to regret mistakes you think you might have made, just remember, there may be two people in a relationship, but it only takes one to fuck it up. Just don't be that fuck up. Think before you act, and act before it's to late. My life may not seem to be going the way I wanted it to right now, but that doesn't mean I can't continue to influence other people's lives no matter how bad it may get.