(no subject)
I'm sorry, but I just can't do it. I know some of you will miss seeing me and some of you won't even stay in touch anymore because this was your main means of doing so, but placid_embers is dead inside. This world was built of Carmel, and there's hardly anything left of carmel in my heart. Nicole held my heart for a really long time, and I've finally reluctanly taken it back from her. It's worse for the wear, I'm sure. When all is said and done however, what do I really have of Carmel that's worth holding now? Broken hearts, bad relationships, self-destructive friendships, heart wrenching and sould crushing school dances? Getting drunk with people I didn't even know on Valentines day because I could barely take the pain? Breaking up with my first girlfriend a day before Christmas break? Driving down to that little beach on the water with fast food and a box of tissues (I never told anyone about that)? Sitting alone in a corner at countless parties while the couples all enjoyed each others company, and I was left to fend for myself, because I was just the movie extra, I was just the driver who made sure one or two of those couples actually could have gotten together? Those are the memories I have. And what do I have to off-set them? Making those silly mythology movies? Sitting with Devin Brown in the crows nest and powning the lights for South Pacific? Frisbee matches with people I didn't know and, to tell the truth, didn't really want to know? Yeah, those scales are definitely balanced.
So, in the simplest terms, I can't take the reminder. I am just tired of running these circles and always coming back to the unpleasantries of yesteryear. I kinda want to move on. LJ, you now go away.
By the way, since I'm losing my mind anyway, and since for these few moments at least I'm in such poor mental health that I don't care who I tell what to, I've got another journal you might want to check out. I wrote it with the intent of only showing it to the closest of my friends, and then one day I realized I didn't consider any of you close enough to share those things with (at least not all of them.) But they are yours now too. Read them and make of them what you will, if you even care enough to read them. But that's your call. The livejournal username is "chrisriven" and it's got a few of my more angry things. Most of it's about Nicole. Surprise surprise. And if you're in a lighter mood, you could check out poetry.com and look up Koran as the last name. I'm the only david on the site, so all those are mine. Some of them are good, some are crap, and a bunch of both of those categories are about Nicole.
So, finally, I say farewell. I wish you all the best in your Live Journal endeavors, and hope sincerely that you have better experiences than mine was. I'm not deleting this account or anything, so feel free to comment to this entry or any other ones for that matter, but I won't ever see them, so you probably shouldn't bother. Also, since I gave away my chrisriven account, that's pretty much a dead account too, so don't expect to see anything else in there either. Good night Vietnam, forever and ever Amen.
So, in the simplest terms, I can't take the reminder. I am just tired of running these circles and always coming back to the unpleasantries of yesteryear. I kinda want to move on. LJ, you now go away.
By the way, since I'm losing my mind anyway, and since for these few moments at least I'm in such poor mental health that I don't care who I tell what to, I've got another journal you might want to check out. I wrote it with the intent of only showing it to the closest of my friends, and then one day I realized I didn't consider any of you close enough to share those things with (at least not all of them.) But they are yours now too. Read them and make of them what you will, if you even care enough to read them. But that's your call. The livejournal username is "chrisriven" and it's got a few of my more angry things. Most of it's about Nicole. Surprise surprise. And if you're in a lighter mood, you could check out poetry.com and look up Koran as the last name. I'm the only david on the site, so all those are mine. Some of them are good, some are crap, and a bunch of both of those categories are about Nicole.
So, finally, I say farewell. I wish you all the best in your Live Journal endeavors, and hope sincerely that you have better experiences than mine was. I'm not deleting this account or anything, so feel free to comment to this entry or any other ones for that matter, but I won't ever see them, so you probably shouldn't bother. Also, since I gave away my chrisriven account, that's pretty much a dead account too, so don't expect to see anything else in there either. Good night Vietnam, forever and ever Amen.