8/26/02
As I have mentioned, I am working on graphics again. I was getting rather bored with it a while back so had stopped when the online quilt project got to be too much. People are also very demanding when it comes to 'free graphics', so I began to feel as if my graphics were not as appreciated as much as just expected. I decided to stop doing them, and the rest from doing them felt very good. Recently, however I have found dingbats, and how I can make totally original graphics and am now working on stained glass designs. It feels good to be creative again. It also brings me pleasure to see my designs and know they are completely original.">
So, just bear with me as I see how they line up here before I begin redoing the child-loss site. I am using unicorns in this entry because they remind me of something in my childhood. I was a horse fanatic, and then fell in love with unicorns and then Pegasus. I had them everywhere, including ones that my Grandmother would make in her weekly ceramics session.
I lost most of them, as I did with many of my childhood things because my Grandfather had some people come in and clean out my Mother's house before I could get back there and do it myself. Among the many items that they took, and probably sold were my Vogue dolls that my Grandmother had bought as a collection for me as a child. All my spelling bee certificates were thrown out, diplomas, and anything else that was left there from my childhood for 'safe keeping'.
The vogue dolls bother me a bit, because they were original Madame Alexander and could have gone to my children. The unicorns also bother me because Molly is a horse lover like her Mom and would probably enjoy them.
But, as with everything in life there is nothing I can do about it. There is no reason to regret what has happened for I can't change it. This just shows how my Grandfather was after the death of my Grandmother. He cared nothing about anyone else's things, for he considered it junk. All that mattered was that he wanted it cleaned out then and now, and that is exactly what he did.
On the local scene, Molly just went up to Hampton Beach in NH for the day. My friend's husband takes them all the time, and they will be gone for the day. I am so glad that she is going, even though I will miss her 'help' here at the house. She has so missed having friends around this summer, since some were in other states and others don't live in Dracut where she can see them easily.
I have to laugh at her on how she can make a day trip seem like a week-long event. She is so picky about how she packs her items and what she has to pack them all in. She has this little mental 'checklist' and goes by it while she is packing each item. The last item was the boogie board (not to be confused with the boogie man. Ralph left last night), and off she went to her adventure in the waves of the NH ocean.
The boys are on their way over to the neighbor's house in a few minutes, so it is just the cherubs and myself. I think I will nap them today, just to give myself some much-needed alone time. With Ralph gone, my nerves are back to normal and I feel so much better. I can accomplish things this week, without the constant aggravation of a sack of shit that thinks walking to the couch is a good way to exert energy.
The marriage counselor just called. He received the files from my other two counselors and the fax I sent from the Psychiatrist. He is going to submit all of those to the court, stating that he feels the attempt for marriage counseling has been fulfilled and he will request that I do not continue with any more sessions. I am wording this incorrectly, but he said he reviewed all the files and can see that I have made a good effort many times to work this out, and sees no reason for me to continue. He will also submit to the court that I am attending my own psychiatric sessions now, so he feels that any further counseling is not needed on my part.
*sighing relief*
I did find out why Ralph comes here every Wednesday. That is when he has his sessions. The counselor is only 10 minutes from here. A co-worker let the cat out of the Chinese soup on that one! He called here last Wednesday afternoon to see if Ralph could give him a ride to work, and I told him that he wasn't here. He said he thought that Ralph had an appointment at the 'doctor' on Wednesdays and wanted to catch him before he leaves.
I am guessing that he is going weekly. I noticed how well it has worked. The fact that he was hiding the tape in his car shows how hard he is working on his addiction.
Either way, it isn't my problem. I don't want to fix it, and am glad that I don't have to sit in an office with some guy that doesn't live here, doesn't see what my life is like and has no way of changing a thing. I am relieved that my part is over (as long as the court accepts his report, which he said he didn't anticipate a problem with it), so I only have to wait a few more months before the separation agreement is finalized.
I hope. I am keeping my legs crossed that nothing else comes up. I would cross my fingers, but that only seems to jinx things.
The cherubs are finishing their lunch so I guess I better get a move on and clean them up. The VCR broke, which is not a happy thing for the Banshee cherub. Her obsessive with pushing the tape in and out is now gone, and she can't pick out the tape she wants to watch, only to come and find you with another tape a few minutes later. It is just another thing that has shaken her little world of 'routine'. Needless to say, she is not pleasant about that one item not working!
Oh, well. Such is life I guess.
So, just bear with me as I see how they line up here before I begin redoing the child-loss site. I am using unicorns in this entry because they remind me of something in my childhood. I was a horse fanatic, and then fell in love with unicorns and then Pegasus. I had them everywhere, including ones that my Grandmother would make in her weekly ceramics session.
I lost most of them, as I did with many of my childhood things because my Grandfather had some people come in and clean out my Mother's house before I could get back there and do it myself. Among the many items that they took, and probably sold were my Vogue dolls that my Grandmother had bought as a collection for me as a child. All my spelling bee certificates were thrown out, diplomas, and anything else that was left there from my childhood for 'safe keeping'.
The vogue dolls bother me a bit, because they were original Madame Alexander and could have gone to my children. The unicorns also bother me because Molly is a horse lover like her Mom and would probably enjoy them.
But, as with everything in life there is nothing I can do about it. There is no reason to regret what has happened for I can't change it. This just shows how my Grandfather was after the death of my Grandmother. He cared nothing about anyone else's things, for he considered it junk. All that mattered was that he wanted it cleaned out then and now, and that is exactly what he did.
On the local scene, Molly just went up to Hampton Beach in NH for the day. My friend's husband takes them all the time, and they will be gone for the day. I am so glad that she is going, even though I will miss her 'help' here at the house. She has so missed having friends around this summer, since some were in other states and others don't live in Dracut where she can see them easily.
I have to laugh at her on how she can make a day trip seem like a week-long event. She is so picky about how she packs her items and what she has to pack them all in. She has this little mental 'checklist' and goes by it while she is packing each item. The last item was the boogie board (not to be confused with the boogie man. Ralph left last night), and off she went to her adventure in the waves of the NH ocean.
The boys are on their way over to the neighbor's house in a few minutes, so it is just the cherubs and myself. I think I will nap them today, just to give myself some much-needed alone time. With Ralph gone, my nerves are back to normal and I feel so much better. I can accomplish things this week, without the constant aggravation of a sack of shit that thinks walking to the couch is a good way to exert energy.
The marriage counselor just called. He received the files from my other two counselors and the fax I sent from the Psychiatrist. He is going to submit all of those to the court, stating that he feels the attempt for marriage counseling has been fulfilled and he will request that I do not continue with any more sessions. I am wording this incorrectly, but he said he reviewed all the files and can see that I have made a good effort many times to work this out, and sees no reason for me to continue. He will also submit to the court that I am attending my own psychiatric sessions now, so he feels that any further counseling is not needed on my part.
*sighing relief*
I did find out why Ralph comes here every Wednesday. That is when he has his sessions. The counselor is only 10 minutes from here. A co-worker let the cat out of the Chinese soup on that one! He called here last Wednesday afternoon to see if Ralph could give him a ride to work, and I told him that he wasn't here. He said he thought that Ralph had an appointment at the 'doctor' on Wednesdays and wanted to catch him before he leaves.
I am guessing that he is going weekly. I noticed how well it has worked. The fact that he was hiding the tape in his car shows how hard he is working on his addiction.
Either way, it isn't my problem. I don't want to fix it, and am glad that I don't have to sit in an office with some guy that doesn't live here, doesn't see what my life is like and has no way of changing a thing. I am relieved that my part is over (as long as the court accepts his report, which he said he didn't anticipate a problem with it), so I only have to wait a few more months before the separation agreement is finalized.
I hope. I am keeping my legs crossed that nothing else comes up. I would cross my fingers, but that only seems to jinx things.
The cherubs are finishing their lunch so I guess I better get a move on and clean them up. The VCR broke, which is not a happy thing for the Banshee cherub. Her obsessive with pushing the tape in and out is now gone, and she can't pick out the tape she wants to watch, only to come and find you with another tape a few minutes later. It is just another thing that has shaken her little world of 'routine'. Needless to say, she is not pleasant about that one item not working!
Oh, well. Such is life I guess.