Mini Update
So life and stuff.
Mostly my life is dominated by the fact that by July 1st I will be jobless. Well, I'll still have the library but that's 2.5 hours a week and that's not even enough to live by even though I'm still at my parents. What really blows about my Institute closing (other than the obvious) is that I had *plans* y'know? I was going to find an apartment in South County - which is expensive even on my salary so I could be closer to work and the boy.
I love my kids at work, they are amazing children - I have a whole notebook called "Shit my Kids Say" which includes but is not limited to one of my black boys saying "White Power!" out of the blue at breakfast - even though most of them are super low functioning, they have the capacity to be amazingly kind, generous and loving kids. Some of my boys can't even form full sentences and they still manage to tell you that they care.
My girls, and they are my girls because I rule their hallway with a somewhat clenched iron fist, they're the higher functioning mostly conduct kids. I used to have 10, then I had 8, then I had 5, and now I have a sad, sad 4 - soon to be 3. Its like, I'm not their mom, or their sister or anything other than a staff they talked to and occasionally got bribed by, but it sucks watching them leave. Especially if they're going to other placements that they HATE. One of my favorite girls got accepted to a place she wants no part of but it's the only place that will take her. She went non-verbal for FIVE DAYS and the only person she'd talk to verbally was ME and its like, I'm losing them.
And now I have to go on Unemployment, and worry about MassHealth (and anyone who lives in this state knows what a crapshoot that is). I have to finish getting a psych profile - I have to worry about a neurologist and someone needs to god damn tell me I don't have fucking brain cancer right the fuck now thanks very much - and everything is just so up in the air.
I really didn't mean for this post to turn into a rambleathon about how much my life is falling apart.
I'm fine.
(I'm not fine.)
BUT. Let's see I need some good news right? Well, I'll have been with the Boy for uh... almost two years now. :D Things are pretty awesome there.
I don't even. Like, he makes me super happy. It's so, weird. It's making this whole job thing a lot better to deal with.
I'll be fine. Right?
Mostly my life is dominated by the fact that by July 1st I will be jobless. Well, I'll still have the library but that's 2.5 hours a week and that's not even enough to live by even though I'm still at my parents. What really blows about my Institute closing (other than the obvious) is that I had *plans* y'know? I was going to find an apartment in South County - which is expensive even on my salary so I could be closer to work and the boy.
I love my kids at work, they are amazing children - I have a whole notebook called "Shit my Kids Say" which includes but is not limited to one of my black boys saying "White Power!" out of the blue at breakfast - even though most of them are super low functioning, they have the capacity to be amazingly kind, generous and loving kids. Some of my boys can't even form full sentences and they still manage to tell you that they care.
My girls, and they are my girls because I rule their hallway with a somewhat clenched iron fist, they're the higher functioning mostly conduct kids. I used to have 10, then I had 8, then I had 5, and now I have a sad, sad 4 - soon to be 3. Its like, I'm not their mom, or their sister or anything other than a staff they talked to and occasionally got bribed by, but it sucks watching them leave. Especially if they're going to other placements that they HATE. One of my favorite girls got accepted to a place she wants no part of but it's the only place that will take her. She went non-verbal for FIVE DAYS and the only person she'd talk to verbally was ME and its like, I'm losing them.
And now I have to go on Unemployment, and worry about MassHealth (and anyone who lives in this state knows what a crapshoot that is). I have to finish getting a psych profile - I have to worry about a neurologist and someone needs to god damn tell me I don't have fucking brain cancer right the fuck now thanks very much - and everything is just so up in the air.
I really didn't mean for this post to turn into a rambleathon about how much my life is falling apart.
I'm fine.
(I'm not fine.)
BUT. Let's see I need some good news right? Well, I'll have been with the Boy for uh... almost two years now. :D Things are pretty awesome there.
I don't even. Like, he makes me super happy. It's so, weird. It's making this whole job thing a lot better to deal with.
I'll be fine. Right?