(no subject)
i do not feel well at all.
if i had two stomachs I’d be sick to both of them
& I’m about ready to start crying again.
this is ridiculous.
I can't figure out how much i should expect from you.
At this point, i suppose it shouldn't be very much.
You’ll run through my mind countless times everyday day. Then, I’ll wait around for you for absolutely no reason. Ill sit around and wonder if you’re ok, if they’re being nice and if you’re being polite. I’ll wonder if you got all of your homework done and if you went to your classes and I’ll wonder who you are with, and ill wonder where you’re going to go now. Then, ill go and do what i feel is a waste of my time and a waste of my potential and a waste of my life and come home and sit around and wait again. my life is a waste of my life anymore.
ill sit around and listen to the people who are supposed to love me, make me feel stupid and make me feel like I’m not good enough for them. ill wonder if you ever think of me like this. ill wonder if I’m good enough for you, and ill most likely think I’m not.
I’m so naive and pathetic. I never want to believe the bad in people. And I’m starting to think I deserve everything I’ve gotten. Because I was stupid enough to believe that the fucking future would get better. I really thought that if I was nice enough… if I really trusted someone. If someone really saw that I was giving my entire self to them, that I was completely in love with them That they would never hurt me. That they wouldn’t want to. I really thought things would work out in the end. It’s all bullshit. I’ve given up on the world.