Maine...MAINE
Hey anyone that still reads this, here's a centipede for your enjoyment:
:]]]]]]]]]]]o<
Let's update what's been going on in my life, shall we?
-Papers delivered: a million. I still deliver to dumbville 3 times a week. I'm glad I'm going somewhere in life so fast.
-Girlfriends decimated: 1. I dumped the shit out her a couple weeks ago. Here's to another year and a half (conservative estimate) of solidarity.
-Vehicles sold: 1. Managed to sell the Honda to Sabrena for $700. One more car out of the driveway and my father is that much happier (or secretly sadder)
-Computers discovered: 3. A Lazer 600, an Apple IIc, and a Macintosh Color Classic. All pre-1994, obviously. Sweet games have ensued as a result.
-Pointless, horrible movies seen: at least 3. I did NOT pay to see them, nor would any sane person. Quick roll call. --Star Wars III: hey, let's explain all the things that no one wanted or needed explanations for in the first place, thereby siphoning any sense of intrigue and excitement from the originals. Good work. --War of the Worlds: It was terrible in 1953, and it's even worse now. I didn't think that was even possible. --Sahara: Wow. Just wow. -Movies I got invited to, refused to see, and feel SO much better because of it: Madagascar and Batman Begins. Net monetary gain: approx. $36. Net loss of brain cells: probably billions, not to mention that I'll never get that time in my life back. Ever. Even drinking during War of the Worlds didn't help, that's how poor it was.
-Degrassi episodes watched: Many many, possibly 40+. It's simple, really--See, last Friday was the season premier of Degrassi. But the weekend before it was the Every Degrassi Episode Ever Marathon. I literally sat in the chair on Saturday for over 6 hours straight at one point. The new episode was pretty damn good, although I wanted a bit more to be covered than Emma and Jay. A little JT/Liberty action would have been nice. This Friday's episode looks incredible. Anyway, at least the N is coming up with something to waste my time.
-Tapes acquired: 15. Taco, Falco, 3x Madonna, Beverly Hills Cop Sndtrk, Toto IV, Kraftwerk, Funkmaster Flex, Scarface, and more. Paper route just got a whole lot more interesting.
-Miners games attended: 6. I go after "free time" (usually 8:00 or so)--one time I was a bit early, but Levi paid for me. It's the great American pasttime: cheering your local team, eating sunflower seeds, and savagely beating children to get a foul ball.
-Meals paid for by me but eaten by someone else: 2. Yeah, it seems pretty outrageous. Don't lose faith in me...obviously (knowing me as you all do) there must be a good reason. Or possibly ninja mind tricks/cunning leopard deception coming into play. I haven't figured it out yet.
-Demolition derbies being prepared for: 1. It's on like nobody's business this year. Last time I was a dumb noob. This season I'm a delectably seasoned veteran. #33 is back with a vengeance, and all are invited to watch the carnage and likely bloodshed. August 25, 6pm at the grandstand. And I know none of ya'll done made any plans yet, so NO EXCUSES. (dammit) Seriously, everyone who's anyone is gonna be in attendance. And you want to be cool for once, don't you? Of course you do.
Alright. Crunch those numbers any way you like, but it still adds up to me still being likely the best person in the world. So long, and thanks for all the beetles.
:]]]]]]]]]]]o<
Let's update what's been going on in my life, shall we?
-Papers delivered: a million. I still deliver to dumbville 3 times a week. I'm glad I'm going somewhere in life so fast.
-Girlfriends decimated: 1. I dumped the shit out her a couple weeks ago. Here's to another year and a half (conservative estimate) of solidarity.
-Vehicles sold: 1. Managed to sell the Honda to Sabrena for $700. One more car out of the driveway and my father is that much happier (or secretly sadder)
-Computers discovered: 3. A Lazer 600, an Apple IIc, and a Macintosh Color Classic. All pre-1994, obviously. Sweet games have ensued as a result.
-Pointless, horrible movies seen: at least 3. I did NOT pay to see them, nor would any sane person. Quick roll call. --Star Wars III: hey, let's explain all the things that no one wanted or needed explanations for in the first place, thereby siphoning any sense of intrigue and excitement from the originals. Good work. --War of the Worlds: It was terrible in 1953, and it's even worse now. I didn't think that was even possible. --Sahara: Wow. Just wow. -Movies I got invited to, refused to see, and feel SO much better because of it: Madagascar and Batman Begins. Net monetary gain: approx. $36. Net loss of brain cells: probably billions, not to mention that I'll never get that time in my life back. Ever. Even drinking during War of the Worlds didn't help, that's how poor it was.
-Degrassi episodes watched: Many many, possibly 40+. It's simple, really--See, last Friday was the season premier of Degrassi. But the weekend before it was the Every Degrassi Episode Ever Marathon. I literally sat in the chair on Saturday for over 6 hours straight at one point. The new episode was pretty damn good, although I wanted a bit more to be covered than Emma and Jay. A little JT/Liberty action would have been nice. This Friday's episode looks incredible. Anyway, at least the N is coming up with something to waste my time.
-Tapes acquired: 15. Taco, Falco, 3x Madonna, Beverly Hills Cop Sndtrk, Toto IV, Kraftwerk, Funkmaster Flex, Scarface, and more. Paper route just got a whole lot more interesting.
-Miners games attended: 6. I go after "free time" (usually 8:00 or so)--one time I was a bit early, but Levi paid for me. It's the great American pasttime: cheering your local team, eating sunflower seeds, and savagely beating children to get a foul ball.
-Meals paid for by me but eaten by someone else: 2. Yeah, it seems pretty outrageous. Don't lose faith in me...obviously (knowing me as you all do) there must be a good reason. Or possibly ninja mind tricks/cunning leopard deception coming into play. I haven't figured it out yet.
-Demolition derbies being prepared for: 1. It's on like nobody's business this year. Last time I was a dumb noob. This season I'm a delectably seasoned veteran. #33 is back with a vengeance, and all are invited to watch the carnage and likely bloodshed. August 25, 6pm at the grandstand. And I know none of ya'll done made any plans yet, so NO EXCUSES. (dammit) Seriously, everyone who's anyone is gonna be in attendance. And you want to be cool for once, don't you? Of course you do.
Alright. Crunch those numbers any way you like, but it still adds up to me still being likely the best person in the world. So long, and thanks for all the beetles.