(no subject)
Depression... Does anyone know what that means? In the dictionary it states depression is: A. The condition of feeling sad or despondent, B. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death, C. An act of depressing or a state of being depressed: as a (1) : a state of feeling sad (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty with thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal thoughts or an attempt to commit suicide .
Lovely word huh? Well this is what I feel like I'm becoming. Depressed. I miss Jeremy so much its literally killing me mentally and physically. I think about him constantly. I love him so much. This whole staying at our parents or whatever is not working. I'm going crazy. But the sad thing is I dont know if he knows this. You see we're going through such a rough time. I wish he could read this or someone could print this out and show him just how much he means to me. We were going to get married, raise our baby and make everything so perfect. But now I dont know if he even loves me still and I cry about that every night. I sit up wondering does he love me still, does he still want to be with me and our baby, does he mean the things he says and then I cry myself to sleep not wanting to wake up the next morning knowing Jeremys not going to be beside me when I wake up like he has been for the past month and a half. I mean I know he loves me but for some reason the question just lingers in my head. My parents of course didnt like Jeremy at first but they want to give him a second chance because now the know I'm not going to leave him alone. He's the father of my baby and it would kill me if he was with someone else other than us. I can't deny my feelings for him any longer and im not going to let my parents step in the way. With them knowing this they've kinda be supporting my decision but Jeremy's been working so much I havent been able to see him. I just want things to go back to the way things were before anyone knew I was pregnant. Where Jeremy and I were seriously helplessly in love with each other. I miss looking into his eyes and being able to have a since of knowing that everything is going to be ok. Damn if there is anyway Jeremy could read this I would tell him. Baby I love you and there is no turning back. Youre seriously my everything.
Lovely word huh? Well this is what I feel like I'm becoming. Depressed. I miss Jeremy so much its literally killing me mentally and physically. I think about him constantly. I love him so much. This whole staying at our parents or whatever is not working. I'm going crazy. But the sad thing is I dont know if he knows this. You see we're going through such a rough time. I wish he could read this or someone could print this out and show him just how much he means to me. We were going to get married, raise our baby and make everything so perfect. But now I dont know if he even loves me still and I cry about that every night. I sit up wondering does he love me still, does he still want to be with me and our baby, does he mean the things he says and then I cry myself to sleep not wanting to wake up the next morning knowing Jeremys not going to be beside me when I wake up like he has been for the past month and a half. I mean I know he loves me but for some reason the question just lingers in my head. My parents of course didnt like Jeremy at first but they want to give him a second chance because now the know I'm not going to leave him alone. He's the father of my baby and it would kill me if he was with someone else other than us. I can't deny my feelings for him any longer and im not going to let my parents step in the way. With them knowing this they've kinda be supporting my decision but Jeremy's been working so much I havent been able to see him. I just want things to go back to the way things were before anyone knew I was pregnant. Where Jeremy and I were seriously helplessly in love with each other. I miss looking into his eyes and being able to have a since of knowing that everything is going to be ok. Damn if there is anyway Jeremy could read this I would tell him. Baby I love you and there is no turning back. Youre seriously my everything.