Is My Face Red
So after leaving my previous post up for nearly a week, I finally had the brains to actually look at it and I realized I used all the wrong tags. I'm so used to posting in BBCode that I don't even think to switch gears half the time. So everything looked pretty fucking stupid, to say the least.
On the up-and-up, my mother-in-law is doing well again after her surgery. It only took two weeks, and naturally my wife is fit to be tied. But I would be too, especially if I knew what she knows about all this medical shit and the doctor wasn't listening to me. It's one thing if your patient's family are a bunch of yokels who don't know Tylenol from Demarol, but when you have a professional (and I must say a damn fine one, too) telling you that she is seeing X, Y and Z symptoms and you tell them to "stop being a nurse and just be quiet and be a visitor," you deserve to get fucking sued. Especially if the person in question was right. I'm not going to go into any details, mainly because I don't know my hand from my asshole when it comes to all this medical stuff, but suffice to say that this was the treatment my wife got when she noticed something was wrong with her mother while she was in recovery. If I ever meet that doctor face-to-face, it will be a dark day for him.
Also, I've decided that I'm pretty much going to ride out this next year at this job and try to get something else. It isn't the job that I was doing when I started here, and the bullshit just keeps getting deeper and deeper. We get more responsibilities and more projects, but we never get any more staff. We do the work of three or four departments, and there are only five of us. Six if you count our manager, who is also doing work that isn't hers to do. I just have the worst feeling that something is going to go wrong, and we're all going to take the hit for it, and I want to jump ship before we're in too deep of water to tread. Besides, I have several college degrees at this point, I should at least try to find a job that puts them to good use. After all, that's what I went and got the goddamn things for in the first fucking place, right?
Then again, I can always fall back on Janitorial work. I can mop a floor and plunge a toilet, and it has to be better than working 10 hours a day doing this bullshit. And yes, it is bullshit work. We're not really Operations and we're not really Systems Administration and we're not really anything. We're a catch-all that has a pain in the ass for a boss who thinks we all come from fucking Krypton or some shit. I'm just not going to be able to do this for much longer. It's just too much strain on my health, and I feel like I never get to see anyone or do anything anymore, just because I do nothing but work and sleep, work and sleep. I'm 36 and on heart medication. There's just something fundamentally wrong with that. The stress level here is palpable. You can feel it when you open the door into this room. We all supposedly get an hour lunch, but no one ever has the time to take it, and we work through it. I don't think I've actually had a lunch break in six years. Six years, five of which have been on the night shift. I haven't had a proper night's sleep in ages. Even when I sleep at night, I only sleep a couple of hours, because I just got up a few hours before. I just don't think I can do this anymore. Not if I want to keep living, and not if I want to actually have a family or a life of any kind.
I just have to get out of here. It's unhealthy, both physically and psychologically, and I have to get away from it before it truly takes its toll.
On the up-and-up, my mother-in-law is doing well again after her surgery. It only took two weeks, and naturally my wife is fit to be tied. But I would be too, especially if I knew what she knows about all this medical shit and the doctor wasn't listening to me. It's one thing if your patient's family are a bunch of yokels who don't know Tylenol from Demarol, but when you have a professional (and I must say a damn fine one, too) telling you that she is seeing X, Y and Z symptoms and you tell them to "stop being a nurse and just be quiet and be a visitor," you deserve to get fucking sued. Especially if the person in question was right. I'm not going to go into any details, mainly because I don't know my hand from my asshole when it comes to all this medical stuff, but suffice to say that this was the treatment my wife got when she noticed something was wrong with her mother while she was in recovery. If I ever meet that doctor face-to-face, it will be a dark day for him.
Also, I've decided that I'm pretty much going to ride out this next year at this job and try to get something else. It isn't the job that I was doing when I started here, and the bullshit just keeps getting deeper and deeper. We get more responsibilities and more projects, but we never get any more staff. We do the work of three or four departments, and there are only five of us. Six if you count our manager, who is also doing work that isn't hers to do. I just have the worst feeling that something is going to go wrong, and we're all going to take the hit for it, and I want to jump ship before we're in too deep of water to tread. Besides, I have several college degrees at this point, I should at least try to find a job that puts them to good use. After all, that's what I went and got the goddamn things for in the first fucking place, right?
Then again, I can always fall back on Janitorial work. I can mop a floor and plunge a toilet, and it has to be better than working 10 hours a day doing this bullshit. And yes, it is bullshit work. We're not really Operations and we're not really Systems Administration and we're not really anything. We're a catch-all that has a pain in the ass for a boss who thinks we all come from fucking Krypton or some shit. I'm just not going to be able to do this for much longer. It's just too much strain on my health, and I feel like I never get to see anyone or do anything anymore, just because I do nothing but work and sleep, work and sleep. I'm 36 and on heart medication. There's just something fundamentally wrong with that. The stress level here is palpable. You can feel it when you open the door into this room. We all supposedly get an hour lunch, but no one ever has the time to take it, and we work through it. I don't think I've actually had a lunch break in six years. Six years, five of which have been on the night shift. I haven't had a proper night's sleep in ages. Even when I sleep at night, I only sleep a couple of hours, because I just got up a few hours before. I just don't think I can do this anymore. Not if I want to keep living, and not if I want to actually have a family or a life of any kind.
I just have to get out of here. It's unhealthy, both physically and psychologically, and I have to get away from it before it truly takes its toll.