Let's be brothers again!
Never done this before! Got something in my head and it wouldn't leave me until I wrote it down.
Let's be brothers again!
After the deal with Lilith, Sam decided to go back to Dean. He needs to try to patch things up between the two of them. He needs them to become brothers again. After all nothing has really changed. He is still the same person. Still Sam. He's been on Ruby's demon blood for months, taking Lilith's isn't gonna be that much different. Sure Lilith is a lot more powerful than Ruby, and drinking Ruby's blood hasn't changed who he is so why should Lilith's blood? The only thing that would change in him is that he would get even more powerful than Ruby's blood could ever make him. More powerful is good! Makes it easier to protect Dean from all the hordes of heaven and hell that all seem to be out to get him for what ever reasons. And protecting Dean is the most important thing to Sam.
Days go by as they are trying to live like normal, or what's normal for them. Driving around the country in the Impala, finding new hunts. Just like nothing has changed. But Dean is quiet, quieter than usual, and Sam really tries, he really does. He tries to be brothers again. Tries to pretend nothings changed. But no amount of small talk or brotherly bantering is making Dean talk. Sammy just tries to be like they used to, pretend like this whole deal with Lilith never happened. So he talks about everything else besides that. He even tries to talk to Dean about how he feels and what they should do to get past this. But Dean just gives him these looks that says he doesn't wanna talk. Not unless Sam decides to open up for real and tell him what really happened. But Sam can never do that. Dean can never know. If he did, it would probably ruin their relationship for ever. Dean would never look at him the same again. So Sam tells him self that nothing has really changed and he pretends that he doesn't see the glint of doubt and suspicion in his brother's eyes. So they are just left with this ominous tension between them and Sam is growing anxious.
Nothing has changed Sam tells him self even though he feels the demon blood sizzling in his veins. He feels it fueling his anxiousness which in turn slowly brews into anger. He needs him and Dean to be like they were. He is desperate to reassure Dean that nothing has changed. Dean needs to know that Sam is still his little brother.
He can't stand the silence anymore. So he confronts Dean one morning, in the motel room that is their home this week. Dean is going about his usual morning routine, lacing his boots, brushing his teeth. Sam observes him from the edge of his own bed. Takes a deep breath before he pleads,"Dean". Sam uses his serious 'let's talk about our feelings'-voice when he continues, "Can we please talk about this? You know I'm still me!"
"Sam we have already been over this", Dean counters. "Just pack your crap and let's get out of here!" he commands, avoiding his little brothers questioning eyes while jamming scattered clothes into his duffel. Sam sighs as he feels the hope go out in his chest. He keeps watching Dean waiting for him to turn around and face him. Searching for his eyes. Dean continues to avoid him, keeping his back turned. Sam feels the blood buzzing inside of him. Hears the thundering pulse in his ears. The noise gets louder as the anger reaches boiling point. And finally he snaps!
He jolts from his position on the bed towards Dean in an unbelievable speed. Twirls him around and slams him against the wall with super human strength. Holds his brother against the wall with one arm against his throat. "You damn well will listen to me!", he roars as he punches his free fist through the drywall. Sam sees as Dean's eyes shift from surprise to worry and fear. "We are brothers and I love you! Nothing has changed and I'm still me", Sam growls as he tightens his arm against his brother. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. You'll see! No one is gonna touch us. Not the angels. Not the demons. No one! I'm gonna show you. What ever it takes!" he rants as Dean starts to gasp for air. Sam ignores Dean's desperate attempts to claw at his arm away, trying to release his self from the stranglehold, as he continues. "We are gonna be brothers again like we used to. You, me and the open road. No more lying! No more secrets!". Dean's eyes starts to tear up and his grip on Sam's arm is getting weaker but Sam just pushes harder. The sound from the blood pumping through his veins is deafening. He doesn't hear Dean weak pleadings. "Sammy... stop it..."
"We are gonna be brothers again even if it kills us!" Sam wheezes through his gritted teeth, just before he plants a chaste but rough kiss on Dean's lips. Pressing his own lips hard against Dean's. Lasting just long enough to be appropriate considering they are brothers. With that kiss Sam meant to show Dean that they are family and the he loves him but instead it comes out threatening and tauting. He can hear the demon inside him laughing. He looks deep into his brothers tear filled eyes, sees his own reflexion but doesn't recognize him self. Thinks he sees a quick glint of yellow from the reflexion of his own eyes. Realization hits him. He has changed! Everything has changed! He isn't him self anymore...
Horrified he steps back releasing Dean. Letting him slowly slide against the wall towards the floor. He takes an other step back while watching Dean fill his oxygen deprived lungs with air. Panting as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand with a disgusted face. "Sam..." Dean whispers with a raspy voice, trying to reach for his brother with one hand while rubbing his sore throat with the other. But Sam just keeps backing away with a horrid look on his face, realizing what he just had done. What he has become! Before Dean has managed to blink away the tears from his eyes Sam is gone. Dean is left alone in his sagged position on the motel room floor and Sam is gone. Gasping for air and tears refusing to stop streaming down his cheeks, Dean is left wondering what the hell just happened. And if he's ever gonna get his brother back again.
Let's be brothers again!
After the deal with Lilith, Sam decided to go back to Dean. He needs to try to patch things up between the two of them. He needs them to become brothers again. After all nothing has really changed. He is still the same person. Still Sam. He's been on Ruby's demon blood for months, taking Lilith's isn't gonna be that much different. Sure Lilith is a lot more powerful than Ruby, and drinking Ruby's blood hasn't changed who he is so why should Lilith's blood? The only thing that would change in him is that he would get even more powerful than Ruby's blood could ever make him. More powerful is good! Makes it easier to protect Dean from all the hordes of heaven and hell that all seem to be out to get him for what ever reasons. And protecting Dean is the most important thing to Sam.
Days go by as they are trying to live like normal, or what's normal for them. Driving around the country in the Impala, finding new hunts. Just like nothing has changed. But Dean is quiet, quieter than usual, and Sam really tries, he really does. He tries to be brothers again. Tries to pretend nothings changed. But no amount of small talk or brotherly bantering is making Dean talk. Sammy just tries to be like they used to, pretend like this whole deal with Lilith never happened. So he talks about everything else besides that. He even tries to talk to Dean about how he feels and what they should do to get past this. But Dean just gives him these looks that says he doesn't wanna talk. Not unless Sam decides to open up for real and tell him what really happened. But Sam can never do that. Dean can never know. If he did, it would probably ruin their relationship for ever. Dean would never look at him the same again. So Sam tells him self that nothing has really changed and he pretends that he doesn't see the glint of doubt and suspicion in his brother's eyes. So they are just left with this ominous tension between them and Sam is growing anxious.
Nothing has changed Sam tells him self even though he feels the demon blood sizzling in his veins. He feels it fueling his anxiousness which in turn slowly brews into anger. He needs him and Dean to be like they were. He is desperate to reassure Dean that nothing has changed. Dean needs to know that Sam is still his little brother.
He can't stand the silence anymore. So he confronts Dean one morning, in the motel room that is their home this week. Dean is going about his usual morning routine, lacing his boots, brushing his teeth. Sam observes him from the edge of his own bed. Takes a deep breath before he pleads,"Dean". Sam uses his serious 'let's talk about our feelings'-voice when he continues, "Can we please talk about this? You know I'm still me!"
"Sam we have already been over this", Dean counters. "Just pack your crap and let's get out of here!" he commands, avoiding his little brothers questioning eyes while jamming scattered clothes into his duffel. Sam sighs as he feels the hope go out in his chest. He keeps watching Dean waiting for him to turn around and face him. Searching for his eyes. Dean continues to avoid him, keeping his back turned. Sam feels the blood buzzing inside of him. Hears the thundering pulse in his ears. The noise gets louder as the anger reaches boiling point. And finally he snaps!
He jolts from his position on the bed towards Dean in an unbelievable speed. Twirls him around and slams him against the wall with super human strength. Holds his brother against the wall with one arm against his throat. "You damn well will listen to me!", he roars as he punches his free fist through the drywall. Sam sees as Dean's eyes shift from surprise to worry and fear. "We are brothers and I love you! Nothing has changed and I'm still me", Sam growls as he tightens his arm against his brother. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. You'll see! No one is gonna touch us. Not the angels. Not the demons. No one! I'm gonna show you. What ever it takes!" he rants as Dean starts to gasp for air. Sam ignores Dean's desperate attempts to claw at his arm away, trying to release his self from the stranglehold, as he continues. "We are gonna be brothers again like we used to. You, me and the open road. No more lying! No more secrets!". Dean's eyes starts to tear up and his grip on Sam's arm is getting weaker but Sam just pushes harder. The sound from the blood pumping through his veins is deafening. He doesn't hear Dean weak pleadings. "Sammy... stop it..."
"We are gonna be brothers again even if it kills us!" Sam wheezes through his gritted teeth, just before he plants a chaste but rough kiss on Dean's lips. Pressing his own lips hard against Dean's. Lasting just long enough to be appropriate considering they are brothers. With that kiss Sam meant to show Dean that they are family and the he loves him but instead it comes out threatening and tauting. He can hear the demon inside him laughing. He looks deep into his brothers tear filled eyes, sees his own reflexion but doesn't recognize him self. Thinks he sees a quick glint of yellow from the reflexion of his own eyes. Realization hits him. He has changed! Everything has changed! He isn't him self anymore...
Horrified he steps back releasing Dean. Letting him slowly slide against the wall towards the floor. He takes an other step back while watching Dean fill his oxygen deprived lungs with air. Panting as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand with a disgusted face. "Sam..." Dean whispers with a raspy voice, trying to reach for his brother with one hand while rubbing his sore throat with the other. But Sam just keeps backing away with a horrid look on his face, realizing what he just had done. What he has become! Before Dean has managed to blink away the tears from his eyes Sam is gone. Dean is left alone in his sagged position on the motel room floor and Sam is gone. Gasping for air and tears refusing to stop streaming down his cheeks, Dean is left wondering what the hell just happened. And if he's ever gonna get his brother back again.