Getting back up
There was another secret entry before this one. It’s very dark and depressing. and long. The short of it is I didn’t get the most recent job I interviewed for, and I’ve spent the last week being very sad. But I don’t want to be sad anymore, so I need to do something about it. The way I see it, I have three options.
1: continue with the current path
2: go back to school, only get practical skills this time.
3: adventure.
1: Stay the course. This seems rather obvious. If I continue to try, I’ll eventually get something, right? Well, no, I still need to make some changes, or I’ll just continue the cycle I’ve been on recently. I did hear back from one of the places I offered to volunteer at. I’m a little trepidatious about it because they seem a little lackadaisical about it. I’m worried I won’t do well if a good structure isn’t in place. But it’s a chance to get more skills, right? And there are still other nearby places I talk to as well. Plus, I’m still getting hours at my current job. Income is income. As long as they continue to schedule me. Maybe I should start exploring other part time options too. I know working did help things a bit.
2: Go back to school. It’s hard to make a go of things with a history degree. The only things that are really keeping me out of school is the thought of winding right back where I am now with even more debt. And I basically have to admit that the last five years were a very costly mistake that I haven’t even begun to pay for yet. And while the passionate part of me wants to go back and try to get a science degree, the practical side of me says that’s an easy way to wind up right back where you started from. Of course, I could try to combine it with my museum skills as a way to open a path towards working in science museums.. That’s my problem, I dream big, but can’t really accomplish much. Still, I guess I could look into it more. Maybe even schedule a meeting with the admissions office at the university. The local university has a program about renewable engery. I’m pretty passionate about the environment, and I can see a future need for that, so maybe it would be a good career path for me. I could also join the military in order to get technical skills as well. Of course, I see a number of problems with that already. Like, my body is starting to go downhill. Pain seems to last longer. I know I don’t think I could kill anyone, even in self defense, but I don’t know how I would feel about assisting in the act. And I guess a big problem I haven’t even thought of is that I know it’s getting harder for me to remember things, and to learn. And there’s kind of a time factor. Even assuming I can credits that already have earned me a degree, and I can get a 4 year program done in 2, I’d be 34 or 35. Which I guess doesn’t seem so bad, but I don’t know.
3. Adventure. This plan excites me, but it’s also kind of scary and fraught with dangers along the way. I’ve kind of talk about it before, and I’ve even tried a version of it, to no success. But this time I’d go all in. Basically, I take all this money I’ve been saving, and I use it to pay for one months rent at a boarding house or long term hotel in some metropolitan area with workable public transit. I take with me only the essentials. I then proceed to attempt to get full time work in said city doing what ever I can, and once I do, get a better place and work myself up from there. And if I don’t, well I tried. There’s a lot I haven’t figured out yet, like where I’d go or what I’d do. The Twin cities are at the top of my list because I know the area somewhat. I’m kind of afraid that once I get there, I’ll distract myself with other things that I won’t accomplish what I set out to do. There are probably other things I haven’t even thought about this plan that will also cause it not to work. I have a lot of half thought out ideas that have pretty much gotten into this situation. Still, it seems very exciting.
There’s other things I’ve thought of too, like maybe working abroad. Except the only thing I’d be somewhat qualified for is teaching english, and I know that’s not for me. I’d love to get a job on a cargo ship and sail the world for awhile, but I also don’t think that’s a viable career option for someone with my skills (and height). What’s not an option here is doing nothing and feeling bad about it. I am very much open to suggestions, and I think I should really talk to people about what I think my next move should be. So, do you have any ideas? What should I do?
1: continue with the current path
2: go back to school, only get practical skills this time.
3: adventure.
1: Stay the course. This seems rather obvious. If I continue to try, I’ll eventually get something, right? Well, no, I still need to make some changes, or I’ll just continue the cycle I’ve been on recently. I did hear back from one of the places I offered to volunteer at. I’m a little trepidatious about it because they seem a little lackadaisical about it. I’m worried I won’t do well if a good structure isn’t in place. But it’s a chance to get more skills, right? And there are still other nearby places I talk to as well. Plus, I’m still getting hours at my current job. Income is income. As long as they continue to schedule me. Maybe I should start exploring other part time options too. I know working did help things a bit.
2: Go back to school. It’s hard to make a go of things with a history degree. The only things that are really keeping me out of school is the thought of winding right back where I am now with even more debt. And I basically have to admit that the last five years were a very costly mistake that I haven’t even begun to pay for yet. And while the passionate part of me wants to go back and try to get a science degree, the practical side of me says that’s an easy way to wind up right back where you started from. Of course, I could try to combine it with my museum skills as a way to open a path towards working in science museums.. That’s my problem, I dream big, but can’t really accomplish much. Still, I guess I could look into it more. Maybe even schedule a meeting with the admissions office at the university. The local university has a program about renewable engery. I’m pretty passionate about the environment, and I can see a future need for that, so maybe it would be a good career path for me. I could also join the military in order to get technical skills as well. Of course, I see a number of problems with that already. Like, my body is starting to go downhill. Pain seems to last longer. I know I don’t think I could kill anyone, even in self defense, but I don’t know how I would feel about assisting in the act. And I guess a big problem I haven’t even thought of is that I know it’s getting harder for me to remember things, and to learn. And there’s kind of a time factor. Even assuming I can credits that already have earned me a degree, and I can get a 4 year program done in 2, I’d be 34 or 35. Which I guess doesn’t seem so bad, but I don’t know.
3. Adventure. This plan excites me, but it’s also kind of scary and fraught with dangers along the way. I’ve kind of talk about it before, and I’ve even tried a version of it, to no success. But this time I’d go all in. Basically, I take all this money I’ve been saving, and I use it to pay for one months rent at a boarding house or long term hotel in some metropolitan area with workable public transit. I take with me only the essentials. I then proceed to attempt to get full time work in said city doing what ever I can, and once I do, get a better place and work myself up from there. And if I don’t, well I tried. There’s a lot I haven’t figured out yet, like where I’d go or what I’d do. The Twin cities are at the top of my list because I know the area somewhat. I’m kind of afraid that once I get there, I’ll distract myself with other things that I won’t accomplish what I set out to do. There are probably other things I haven’t even thought about this plan that will also cause it not to work. I have a lot of half thought out ideas that have pretty much gotten into this situation. Still, it seems very exciting.
There’s other things I’ve thought of too, like maybe working abroad. Except the only thing I’d be somewhat qualified for is teaching english, and I know that’s not for me. I’d love to get a job on a cargo ship and sail the world for awhile, but I also don’t think that’s a viable career option for someone with my skills (and height). What’s not an option here is doing nothing and feeling bad about it. I am very much open to suggestions, and I think I should really talk to people about what I think my next move should be. So, do you have any ideas? What should I do?