The Change
I already had written this week's entry. It was another "woe is me, my life is so miserable" pity party. But shortly after completing it, I went on an extended bike ride to the M. It was then that I had an epiphany. Instead of whining about my life, why don't I DO something about it. Why not change my fate? Why not be pro-active instead of waiting for something to happen? I came to the conclusion that needed to change my life. But can I change? Change is hard, and it gets harder the older we get. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, especially when that rut is so comfortable and getting out of it seems like such a bother. So I needed a plan, a plan to enact change. Naturally, I thought of a over-complicated scheme. The key feature of this scheme is this space. Basically, I figure that about announcing my plan to the "world," I would feel like I am held accountable. Of course ,there is more to it than that.
I started by assessing my current goals. Before now, my only stated goal is to start my museum career. However, my plan to accomplish this goal has seemed to stall out. To get a job, I need more experience, but to get more experience I need a job. I can try to circumvent this by volunteering, but local volunteering options haven't panned out like I hoped. Still, there are a few more places I could try (or retry). Another part of my problems is that I'm too comfortable here, and I have fallen on old, bad habits. Recently, I've been twenty pounds over what I weighed when I left Texas. Part of it is that when I feel nervous, angsty, or depressed, I eat. The other part is my messed of sleeping schedule. I get plenty of exercise, as I'm on my bike practically everyday. But I think I've plateaued on what I can accomplish with that. I used to do a lot of yoga, but I've kind of stopped since April for no real reason, I just fell out of it. I need to pick that up again. And it's also summer, maybe I should pick up swimming again. I know the public pool in town has special laps and times set aside for lap swimming. Finally, it's a secret to no one that I tend to be shy. I've tried a lot over the years to be less so, but now I think I need to take it to another level. Like last weekend, when I was out and about, I had several chances to strike up a conversation, yet I didn't and just sat in my lonely world. So I need to practice talking to people, epxeially people I don't know. Who knows, it might make the interviews go better too. So basically, here are my current goals:
1:gain employment
2: get weight down to 140 (currently 156)
3: Be more sociable
How am I going to accomplish these goals? Well, I have plans. First and foremost, I'm going to try to adopt a normal working person's schedule. From 9 to 5 Monday through Friday, I must be working on something in relation to my goals. Of course, I'll break around 1 for lunch (which is supposed to be my responsibility, though half the time I'm still asleep. Basically, no watching the TV during this time, nor any video games. AND DEFINITELY NO NAPPING. Exercising and riding my bike will count, though. Cleaning (laundry, dishes, or just general cleanup around the house) will also count. This does NOT mean that I can't work on anything outside of these times, but the idea is to get me back on a working person's schedule. I'm also going to try to do all my work on my desktop computer. With my laptop, it's too easy to plop down in front of the TV and "watch"something while I work. I need to get into the mind set of "I'm at work. I'm working."
Now for the complicated part. For every hour I work, I earn an reward point, symbolized by an R. I can spend Rs on rewards for myself, like if I want to buy something for me, 1R= $10 (because I feel like I'm worth at least $10 an hour). Or if I want to take a break, I can spend 1 R for an hour of TV or games. Basically, any pleasures or anything "bad"for me should cost points. Maybe I should create a list of rewards and their R cost. However, if I break the rules, that will also subtract Rs. If I don't start "work" by 9, not only do I not earn the R, but I subtract some too. And every time I hit the snooze on my alarm., I lose an R. If the balance ever gets to -5 R, I have to write an embarrassing entry on here or donate money to a cause I am diametrically opposed to. Incomplete hours will be rounded to the nearest 1/4. So that's my scheme. I'm sure there are flaws that I can exploit, and it will need adjusting, but I'm going to try it out for a week (starting tomorrow, err, technically later today) and see how it works.
Goal 2 it's probably the easiest for me. All I need to do is add more different exercises (both swimming and yoga, I think), and eat better and at better times. As for goal 1, I've created 3 different plans. Plan A is staying the course. Plan B is to get a part time job around here doing something. I'm currently waiting to hear back from a job I interviewed for last week. I expect to hear back from them this week. Then there's my newest plan: Plan C. Plan C is to move to a large metropolitan area and get myself a job (or jobs) doing anything. The idea is I need a change of venue. Right now, the Twin Cities are on the top of my list, since I've enjoyed most of the time I've spent there. Plus, I think I could probably get involved volunteering for a museum around there, then hope that when they have an opening, I'll have an in. Furthermore, if I learned anything from my time in Texas, it's that you need to be happy with where you live. Obviously, it's not like "opps, Plan A didn't work, on to Plan B." All of them can happen concurrently, though if Plan C works, then it might be a while before I get back to Plan A, and Plan B would be void too. My third goal will be a little difficult, but my plan is to try to start random conversations with strangers. Anytime I have a conversation that goes over a minute, I'll give myself a R point. For the average person, this would probably be easy, but I feel like I need the incentive because I'm crazy like that. Finally, I'm also going to up my journal quota to at least once, maybe more a week. However, I'm going to try to push the emphasis off of me. Not sure what I'll write about. I've thought about just doing short stories, maybe essays.
So that's my plan. I doubt average people do this, but I admit I'm weird in the brain. This is how I operate. I don't know if it'll workout or not, but hopefully this will inspire the change in my life that I so desperately need. I've been idle too long. I need to do something with my life. Hopefully With this plan, I'll figure out what that something is. I mean, what else could I spend my working time doing? Anyway, I'll report back here on Friday to write about how it went.
I started by assessing my current goals. Before now, my only stated goal is to start my museum career. However, my plan to accomplish this goal has seemed to stall out. To get a job, I need more experience, but to get more experience I need a job. I can try to circumvent this by volunteering, but local volunteering options haven't panned out like I hoped. Still, there are a few more places I could try (or retry). Another part of my problems is that I'm too comfortable here, and I have fallen on old, bad habits. Recently, I've been twenty pounds over what I weighed when I left Texas. Part of it is that when I feel nervous, angsty, or depressed, I eat. The other part is my messed of sleeping schedule. I get plenty of exercise, as I'm on my bike practically everyday. But I think I've plateaued on what I can accomplish with that. I used to do a lot of yoga, but I've kind of stopped since April for no real reason, I just fell out of it. I need to pick that up again. And it's also summer, maybe I should pick up swimming again. I know the public pool in town has special laps and times set aside for lap swimming. Finally, it's a secret to no one that I tend to be shy. I've tried a lot over the years to be less so, but now I think I need to take it to another level. Like last weekend, when I was out and about, I had several chances to strike up a conversation, yet I didn't and just sat in my lonely world. So I need to practice talking to people, epxeially people I don't know. Who knows, it might make the interviews go better too. So basically, here are my current goals:
1:gain employment
2: get weight down to 140 (currently 156)
3: Be more sociable
How am I going to accomplish these goals? Well, I have plans. First and foremost, I'm going to try to adopt a normal working person's schedule. From 9 to 5 Monday through Friday, I must be working on something in relation to my goals. Of course, I'll break around 1 for lunch (which is supposed to be my responsibility, though half the time I'm still asleep. Basically, no watching the TV during this time, nor any video games. AND DEFINITELY NO NAPPING. Exercising and riding my bike will count, though. Cleaning (laundry, dishes, or just general cleanup around the house) will also count. This does NOT mean that I can't work on anything outside of these times, but the idea is to get me back on a working person's schedule. I'm also going to try to do all my work on my desktop computer. With my laptop, it's too easy to plop down in front of the TV and "watch"something while I work. I need to get into the mind set of "I'm at work. I'm working."
Now for the complicated part. For every hour I work, I earn an reward point, symbolized by an R. I can spend Rs on rewards for myself, like if I want to buy something for me, 1R= $10 (because I feel like I'm worth at least $10 an hour). Or if I want to take a break, I can spend 1 R for an hour of TV or games. Basically, any pleasures or anything "bad"for me should cost points. Maybe I should create a list of rewards and their R cost. However, if I break the rules, that will also subtract Rs. If I don't start "work" by 9, not only do I not earn the R, but I subtract some too. And every time I hit the snooze on my alarm., I lose an R. If the balance ever gets to -5 R, I have to write an embarrassing entry on here or donate money to a cause I am diametrically opposed to. Incomplete hours will be rounded to the nearest 1/4. So that's my scheme. I'm sure there are flaws that I can exploit, and it will need adjusting, but I'm going to try it out for a week (starting tomorrow, err, technically later today) and see how it works.
Goal 2 it's probably the easiest for me. All I need to do is add more different exercises (both swimming and yoga, I think), and eat better and at better times. As for goal 1, I've created 3 different plans. Plan A is staying the course. Plan B is to get a part time job around here doing something. I'm currently waiting to hear back from a job I interviewed for last week. I expect to hear back from them this week. Then there's my newest plan: Plan C. Plan C is to move to a large metropolitan area and get myself a job (or jobs) doing anything. The idea is I need a change of venue. Right now, the Twin Cities are on the top of my list, since I've enjoyed most of the time I've spent there. Plus, I think I could probably get involved volunteering for a museum around there, then hope that when they have an opening, I'll have an in. Furthermore, if I learned anything from my time in Texas, it's that you need to be happy with where you live. Obviously, it's not like "opps, Plan A didn't work, on to Plan B." All of them can happen concurrently, though if Plan C works, then it might be a while before I get back to Plan A, and Plan B would be void too. My third goal will be a little difficult, but my plan is to try to start random conversations with strangers. Anytime I have a conversation that goes over a minute, I'll give myself a R point. For the average person, this would probably be easy, but I feel like I need the incentive because I'm crazy like that. Finally, I'm also going to up my journal quota to at least once, maybe more a week. However, I'm going to try to push the emphasis off of me. Not sure what I'll write about. I've thought about just doing short stories, maybe essays.
So that's my plan. I doubt average people do this, but I admit I'm weird in the brain. This is how I operate. I don't know if it'll workout or not, but hopefully this will inspire the change in my life that I so desperately need. I've been idle too long. I need to do something with my life. Hopefully With this plan, I'll figure out what that something is. I mean, what else could I spend my working time doing? Anyway, I'll report back here on Friday to write about how it went.