I think I talked myself out of a nervous brakedown while writing this. Doesn't mean it's good.
I probably shouldn't be writing this. I should be reading more of a book, then go to sleep, the wake up, eat breakfast, and do some more readings for the class I have tomorrow, then top it off with more readings for a class on Tuesday. And then I get to both start some readings for a class I have on Thursday, and I have to find time to head on over to the archives. Oh, and to top it all off, I have a eight to ten page paper due a week from next Tuesday. Fortunately, I just finishing all the research for that one today, but it's not the kind of researching I"m used to, so I'm a little off my game. Oh, and I also should get around to cleaning my apartment. The dishes have been piling up from when I made curry on Friday, and I need to do laundry. Plus, things are here, there and everywhere. And that's pretty much how Graduate School has been going.
I have no idea how I'd handle everything if I had a job. I'd probably eat out a lot more, just to save on cleaning. I think I need to learn better time management skills. It's difficult though... I wonder. I definitely under pressure here. I feel like I have to do well, so that I graduate and get a job that I'll like to do. I know I made the right decision going with this museum thing, as my museum class is probably the class that I'm most interested in. It's far and away my favorite. But, I have to do well. I have to do well, so I can continue on with the program. And right now, I have no idea if I'm doing well or not. There have been no test so far, and there is only going to be one class at all. Pretty much, I'm graded on the papers I right. Like one of my classes, my grade is based on 2 papers and class participation. That's it. If I bomb a paper.... Other classes are a little more generous, but still, there's not a lot of room to make up a bad grade here.
But I guess if I'm going to fail, now would be the best time. Don't get me wrong here, I reprimand myself for even thinking about not being able to do this. But what I'm saying is that it would be a lot cheaper for me in the long run to get out now. I'm still going to be in debt either-way, but at least this way, it won't be so massive. But it's still not helpful thinking. I got to believe I can do this. And there has been nothing presented to me so far that I can't do. I am smart enough to do this. One of my poorer traits is that I can be stubborn as a mule sometimes. However, sometimes it is good to be a little stubborn. It means I really stick with things and don't give up easily.
So it's been tough, but I'm hanging in there. I got to keep believing I can do this though. Well, that's it for this week. Apologies for the somewhat frantic nature of this update. I actually took out a couple paragraphs cause I was getting grossly off topic (also thought I might be able to use them at a latter point.) Also, I might be a little to tired here, and when I write something personal when tired, I tend to be a bit too emotional. So yeah, this one's not very good...
I have no idea how I'd handle everything if I had a job. I'd probably eat out a lot more, just to save on cleaning. I think I need to learn better time management skills. It's difficult though... I wonder. I definitely under pressure here. I feel like I have to do well, so that I graduate and get a job that I'll like to do. I know I made the right decision going with this museum thing, as my museum class is probably the class that I'm most interested in. It's far and away my favorite. But, I have to do well. I have to do well, so I can continue on with the program. And right now, I have no idea if I'm doing well or not. There have been no test so far, and there is only going to be one class at all. Pretty much, I'm graded on the papers I right. Like one of my classes, my grade is based on 2 papers and class participation. That's it. If I bomb a paper.... Other classes are a little more generous, but still, there's not a lot of room to make up a bad grade here.
But I guess if I'm going to fail, now would be the best time. Don't get me wrong here, I reprimand myself for even thinking about not being able to do this. But what I'm saying is that it would be a lot cheaper for me in the long run to get out now. I'm still going to be in debt either-way, but at least this way, it won't be so massive. But it's still not helpful thinking. I got to believe I can do this. And there has been nothing presented to me so far that I can't do. I am smart enough to do this. One of my poorer traits is that I can be stubborn as a mule sometimes. However, sometimes it is good to be a little stubborn. It means I really stick with things and don't give up easily.
So it's been tough, but I'm hanging in there. I got to keep believing I can do this though. Well, that's it for this week. Apologies for the somewhat frantic nature of this update. I actually took out a couple paragraphs cause I was getting grossly off topic (also thought I might be able to use them at a latter point.) Also, I might be a little to tired here, and when I write something personal when tired, I tend to be a bit too emotional. So yeah, this one's not very good...