A year on...
Well it's crazy to think it's been just over a year since I started Lj!So many things have happened in that time.. some bad and certainly some good.
This time last year:
- I had not long completed uni and was worrying about my grades.
- I was going out with Jay Jay and had been for around 2 weeks.
- I was nervous about travelling to and around London (which I had been doing alot of) due to the tube terrorism .
- I was missing my uni friends a hell of alot.
- I didn't have much self confidence and was kinda low alot.
- I was looking forward to going to see REM in London's Hyde Park.
- I was about to start looking for a first full time job.
- I was looking forward to a trip to Australia and Japan departing on 6th August.Which I had booked and payed for..
Now...
- I know that although it's good to have my BA Hons degree and it shows I completed a three year programme it's not as essential as I would of thought and definately wasn't worth the worry I put in on not getting one grade by 5 marks off a pass. Nearly every employer doesn't even want to know what grade you got. I really didn't need to worry bout that retake.
- I don't really say I regret going out with Jay Jay but I sure learnt from it. At the time it and he felt like they ruled my life. It was a rocky and bumpy ride going out with him, one which as I say I don't regret but definately one I wouldn't want to travel again. Looking back he was really not suited to me as I'm just too honest and although it felt like I loved him I now realise he more than anything highlighted my insecurities and made me someone I'm not,he really was quite opposite from me. And although yeah, I was hung up on him for some months after and I did feel very decieved by the lies. A year on, Yes I think about him, Yes I occassionally wonder what he's doing, and Yes I do remember the hurt. But now it seems so unimportant as a whole and I find it amazing how things change with time!
- I definately don't feel as bothered about the tubes. Even though I know that this could happen again I have a better outlook on things and think that life is way too short too keep worrying constantly about things that might happen. It doesn't mean I think what happened is any less tragic and evil but it just means I won't let people like that have such a hold over my life and that is fear is only something you create yourself in your own mind.
- I was missing all my close uni friends and uni life in general but a year on I've seen them a fair amount and we have all definately moved on from the student uni vibe and definately have a good time still just in a different way. The closeness is still there and I guess in a way is stronger what with us all living apart so much but still keeping in touch so much.
- I'm a much more confident person now, i'm amazed at how my confidence grows and keeps getting bigger and better with new things I do. I still have the odd low days but not like before.I so more happy with me .
- I was very much looking forward to seeing REM and even though I had the ticket and everything I never went. Mainly due to my bad relationship with my over controlling boyfriend of the time. So this is a regret and I know now if a similar situation arose I would go and not worry i'm so pleased with the stronger me.
- I shouldn't have been nervous about the work thing. I shoulda realised everyone starts somewhere. There are as I've obviuosly discovered chances out there you just have to take them. I've done all sorts since worrying about work a year ago. Photoshoots, commissions, styling, Band photography and even maybe more mens wear designing thanks to an up coming new chance. I just have to grab everything thats going and build up that c.v and who knows where i'll be next year.
- I was really looking forward to this but again it was something that never happned even though I had booked and payed for it and was to a certain extent all set. I was looking forward to seeing Osaka and Sydney Melbourne and Brisbane but mainly due to my kidney problem I had at the time I was ill like a week before I was due to fly out and actually in hospital. But hey thats all gone now and I'm looking forward to more travel coming up... TBA hehe.
Wow I just feel so much more positive.
xxx
This time last year:
- I had not long completed uni and was worrying about my grades.
- I was going out with Jay Jay and had been for around 2 weeks.
- I was nervous about travelling to and around London (which I had been doing alot of) due to the tube terrorism .
- I was missing my uni friends a hell of alot.
- I didn't have much self confidence and was kinda low alot.
- I was looking forward to going to see REM in London's Hyde Park.
- I was about to start looking for a first full time job.
- I was looking forward to a trip to Australia and Japan departing on 6th August.Which I had booked and payed for..
Now...
- I know that although it's good to have my BA Hons degree and it shows I completed a three year programme it's not as essential as I would of thought and definately wasn't worth the worry I put in on not getting one grade by 5 marks off a pass. Nearly every employer doesn't even want to know what grade you got. I really didn't need to worry bout that retake.
- I don't really say I regret going out with Jay Jay but I sure learnt from it. At the time it and he felt like they ruled my life. It was a rocky and bumpy ride going out with him, one which as I say I don't regret but definately one I wouldn't want to travel again. Looking back he was really not suited to me as I'm just too honest and although it felt like I loved him I now realise he more than anything highlighted my insecurities and made me someone I'm not,he really was quite opposite from me. And although yeah, I was hung up on him for some months after and I did feel very decieved by the lies. A year on, Yes I think about him, Yes I occassionally wonder what he's doing, and Yes I do remember the hurt. But now it seems so unimportant as a whole and I find it amazing how things change with time!
- I definately don't feel as bothered about the tubes. Even though I know that this could happen again I have a better outlook on things and think that life is way too short too keep worrying constantly about things that might happen. It doesn't mean I think what happened is any less tragic and evil but it just means I won't let people like that have such a hold over my life and that is fear is only something you create yourself in your own mind.
- I was missing all my close uni friends and uni life in general but a year on I've seen them a fair amount and we have all definately moved on from the student uni vibe and definately have a good time still just in a different way. The closeness is still there and I guess in a way is stronger what with us all living apart so much but still keeping in touch so much.
- I'm a much more confident person now, i'm amazed at how my confidence grows and keeps getting bigger and better with new things I do. I still have the odd low days but not like before.I so more happy with me .
- I was very much looking forward to seeing REM and even though I had the ticket and everything I never went. Mainly due to my bad relationship with my over controlling boyfriend of the time. So this is a regret and I know now if a similar situation arose I would go and not worry i'm so pleased with the stronger me.
- I shouldn't have been nervous about the work thing. I shoulda realised everyone starts somewhere. There are as I've obviuosly discovered chances out there you just have to take them. I've done all sorts since worrying about work a year ago. Photoshoots, commissions, styling, Band photography and even maybe more mens wear designing thanks to an up coming new chance. I just have to grab everything thats going and build up that c.v and who knows where i'll be next year.
- I was really looking forward to this but again it was something that never happned even though I had booked and payed for it and was to a certain extent all set. I was looking forward to seeing Osaka and Sydney Melbourne and Brisbane but mainly due to my kidney problem I had at the time I was ill like a week before I was due to fly out and actually in hospital. But hey thats all gone now and I'm looking forward to more travel coming up... TBA hehe.
Wow I just feel so much more positive.
xxx