Hay nada razones para "Give a Shit."
Hi.
I hate school. I really, really, really hate school. I know it's a good thing to challenge yourself and learn but right now it's pissing me off and giving me the feeling I'm wasting my time and that a whole, wide world is out there passing me by. It's nothing new. I've hated school since I was a child. I used to fake illness (to the EXTREME) so that I wouldn't have to go. I used to beg and plead with my mom and bawl my eyes out if I had to go.
Now I'm spending (and incurring debt worth) thousands of dollars to go do that very thing I hated so much as a child. You can dress it up and prettyfuck it to death all you want. I can ignore how I feel for a time, but when you take all the shit away, that's really what it is. Something I hate and I'm paying to do it.
You know what? I'm tired of ignoring that. I'm just going to say how I feel. I hate school. I'm sick of the readings (which I never get done), and the useless, stupid debates over how to edit a fucking sentence while people in cities around the world are blowing themselves up and waging wars. I sick of the professors who could give a rat's ass if you live or die. I know this is the daily crap you have to deal with in "The Real World" but at least you get a fucking paycheck in exchange (albeit a small one). In college, you are shouldered with the unbearable workload and given nothing but a letter on a piece of paper after 16 weeks IF nothing goes wrong in the grading process.
Grading process? Fuck you. I'm not meat.
Some people can do it. Some people go into college and emerge unscathed and emotionally sound after 4-5 years. You know what? I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I have been in college for 7 FUCKING YEARS and I STILL have almost TWO YEARS LEFT. It has been grinding, agonizing, embarrassing and both mentally and financially draining. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE.
What am I going to do now? I don't know. I just don't know. Each semester I have stopped caring earlier and earlier. It's the third week and I've already missed quite a few classes and I just don't care. I've emailed my professors and watched then open and immediately delete my emails through Groupwise Notify tracking. They don't care so why should I?
I AM NOT TRYING TO CAUSE A STIR. Simply put, if I never say anything about how I feel, my anger will swallow me whole. I can't stay silent about this anymore. If nothing else, at least it feels better to get it out. Once I figure out what I'm doing here, I'll let you know. I just had to say something.
-P
I hate school. I really, really, really hate school. I know it's a good thing to challenge yourself and learn but right now it's pissing me off and giving me the feeling I'm wasting my time and that a whole, wide world is out there passing me by. It's nothing new. I've hated school since I was a child. I used to fake illness (to the EXTREME) so that I wouldn't have to go. I used to beg and plead with my mom and bawl my eyes out if I had to go.
Now I'm spending (and incurring debt worth) thousands of dollars to go do that very thing I hated so much as a child. You can dress it up and prettyfuck it to death all you want. I can ignore how I feel for a time, but when you take all the shit away, that's really what it is. Something I hate and I'm paying to do it.
You know what? I'm tired of ignoring that. I'm just going to say how I feel. I hate school. I'm sick of the readings (which I never get done), and the useless, stupid debates over how to edit a fucking sentence while people in cities around the world are blowing themselves up and waging wars. I sick of the professors who could give a rat's ass if you live or die. I know this is the daily crap you have to deal with in "The Real World" but at least you get a fucking paycheck in exchange (albeit a small one). In college, you are shouldered with the unbearable workload and given nothing but a letter on a piece of paper after 16 weeks IF nothing goes wrong in the grading process.
Grading process? Fuck you. I'm not meat.
Some people can do it. Some people go into college and emerge unscathed and emotionally sound after 4-5 years. You know what? I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I have been in college for 7 FUCKING YEARS and I STILL have almost TWO YEARS LEFT. It has been grinding, agonizing, embarrassing and both mentally and financially draining. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE.
What am I going to do now? I don't know. I just don't know. Each semester I have stopped caring earlier and earlier. It's the third week and I've already missed quite a few classes and I just don't care. I've emailed my professors and watched then open and immediately delete my emails through Groupwise Notify tracking. They don't care so why should I?
I AM NOT TRYING TO CAUSE A STIR. Simply put, if I never say anything about how I feel, my anger will swallow me whole. I can't stay silent about this anymore. If nothing else, at least it feels better to get it out. Once I figure out what I'm doing here, I'll let you know. I just had to say something.
-P