Gratuitous Gay Bathroom Scene, Blaine/Mike/Santana friendship, PG-13
Title: Gratuitous Gay Bathroom Scene
Author: pizzaboat
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Mike Chang, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel
Pairings: Blaine/Mike/Santana friendship, Kurt/Blaine, Brittany/Santana
Word Count: 1300+
Summary: "Listen," began Blaine (and he tried to word this as vaguely as he could, just because Mike was there and they were in a public place and he really didn't want a repeat of the 'approach closet jock on an outdoor stairwell and get shoved into a fence' incident), "I'm ready to talk whenever you are."
Spoilers: 3.01, 3.02
Warnings: none
Author's Notes: Second installment in my Chanderpez 'verse. Annnd let's pretend that Brittany was Kurt's campaign manager for a wee bit longer, kay?
Blaine really couldn't remember how his boyfriend cleaning him up after a bad slushy facial turned into his boyfriend straddling him in the girls' bathroom, and after a while, he decided that he didn't care.
"This is the best thing that has ever happened at this school."
Kurt and Blaine's lips abruptly broke apart. Kurt's eyes were wide and steely gray under the fluorescent lights of the bathroom, paralyzed with horror. "Oh my god..."
Blaine straightened his green bow tie and cleared his throat. "Hi, Brittany...er...listen, I'm really sorry you had to see Kurt and I...um..."
"Can I join you guys? I mean, I know that Kurt's capital-G Gay, but he is seriously one of the best kissers I know."
"Brittany, we-wait, what?"
Kurt's ears were tinged with red. "Sophomore year. It involved Mellencamp and flannel and it was one of the lowest moments of my life."
"But when I met you, you said that you've never been kissed!"
"I think my exact words were, 'one that counted.'"
Blaine's mouth opened into a little 'oh' of realization.
Brittany stepped a little bit closer to the two boys. "Guys, I think I need to tell you something. San's been acting really sad, ever since Schue kicked her out of glee, and I think it's because she's a dolphin and she needs help."
"Damn, she's in the closet and she doesn't even have the Glee club?"
The shorter boy's eyes widened with shock. "How did you get in the closet from dolphin?"
"Guess I'm just used to the way Brittany talks. But Santana practically has it down to an art form," explained Kurt.
"But I tried to get Mr. Schue to let her back in, and he said that he couldn't. I wish he would realize that Santana's not a bad person. And I think she needs the glee club right now, but she won't even talk to anybody. She's too upset."
Blaine's eyes met Kurt's, and he knew that Kurt knew that Santana needed New Directions, right now, more than ever.
"Well, where is she right now?" asked Blaine.
"In the library."
Blaine was a little surprised at that answer, for Santana definitely didn't strike him as the bookish type.
"I think that you should talk to her," Kurt whispered to him.
"Why me? After I was such a terrific mentor to you last year?"
"Hey, you had your low moments," said Kurt teasingly, "But overall, you were a pretty fantastic mentor. Until that one time when you accidentally made out with me over my pet bird's casket."
"Wow, Kurt. You are such a fantastic boyfriend. You are the love of my life. You raise me up so high," Blaine deadpanned.
"But seriously," Kurt added, "You might wanna leave that out on your 'Magical Fairy-Gay-Parent' resume."
"I don't think I'll kiss my mentee this time, considering the fact that we're both the wrong gender." Blaine's lips had quirked up into a smug little smile.
The boys exchanged fleeting smiles, before Blaine exited the girls' bathroom in the pursuit of his next potential mentee.
***
Blaine waltzed into the McKinley high school library, hazel eyes scanning behind the shelves and in between tables for Santana. It didn't take long to find her, or the scene she was causing with Mike Chang.
"Listen, Santana, Britt and I are really-"
"Oh, you're worried? Well, that's cute. But as long as fucking Schuester is running that club, I can't go back there."
Her dark brown eyes met Blaine's. "Oh god, did Brittany tell again?"
"Tell what?" asked a puzzled Mike.
"Listen," began Blaine (and he tried to word this as vaguely as he could, just because Mike was there and they were in a public place and he really didn't want a repeat of the 'approach closet jock on an outdoor stairwell and get shoved into a fence' incident), "I'm ready to talk whenever you are." He started to walk away, but didn't get a chance to, before a practically ancient old lady started snarling at him.
"We're really sorry, Ms. Bletheim," began Mike, "We swear, we-"
"You arts kids are always up on your high horses; thinking that it's perfectly acceptable to speak as loud as you please, while other students are trying to work," she said.
"Um, Ms. Bletheim, if I may?" began Blaine, "You're kind of disturbing other students as well."
The fury in the elderly woman's eyes was more than Blaine had seen in any teacher's in his life. Santana gave an amused little gasp, and Mike and Blaine were petrified with fear.
"All three of you. Detention until five o' clock today," said Ms. Bletheim. She handed out three students each a pass, and Blaine could feel the bridge he was trying to build with Santana start to crumble before he even started trying.
***
Will was sitting in his desk, drinking coffee and thinking about his sex life, as usual. He was actually about to leave, when the door swung open, and Kurt, followed by Brittany, waltzed into his gave his students a warm smile. "Hey, guys. What can I help you with?"
"Well, it's not exactly us who needs the help, Mr. Schue," said Kurt, "It's Santana."
Will frowned a little bit. "Listen, I get that you want to help your friend, but do you think this club is going to be taken seriously if we let the member who we kicked out back in?"
"I don't think that this club is ever going to be taken seriously, and Santana's going through a really tough spot right now, and, well, she needs us. A lot."
"Well, she really shouldn't have went on our backs like that," said Will, "I'm sorry, Kurt. But I have to be tough on you guys, or else we won't be able to make it to Nationals."
Kurt stared at Mr. Schue for a long time, and, through his brain ran every single memory of every single, miserable time he had when he was in the admittedly transparent closet and when he came out, and where the hell he would be if it wasn't for this club, for Rachel, for Finn, for Mercedes, and how it strangely wasn't for his teacher. The guy who wanted him to be Frank-N-Furter and wouldn't let him join the girls' team, before finally saying, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Kurt-" began Will.
"Why do you care so much about Nationals all of the sudden? You were the one who made us write songs two days before the competition. And you know what I just realized? You do absolutely nothing to help us grow. Nothing. I'm helping Rachel, Rachel's helping Finn and me, Tina was helping Artie, Mike and Tina are helping each other, Blaine and Brittany and I are trying to help Santana, but you just sit there and ramble on about your sex life to anybody with two ears. Yeah, Quinn told me about that."
"Kurt, this is the end of this discussion. I'm-"
"And you do nothing to stop the fights we have right in front of you, in the choir room, and you cast Sam as Rocky Horror, and when it made him uncomfortable, you cast yourself. Do you even realize how inappropriate that is? And you have the nerve to do that to-"
"Alright, alright! I'll let Santana back in, so as long as she pledges her loyalty to this club."
Kurt took a deep breath, and, suddenly, his brain caught up with his heart. "Oh my god. I can't believe that I said that."
"You're really attractive when you get angry," said Brittany.
"Mr. Schue, I'm so-"
"No, Kurt, it's okay. I-just please. Leave."
And with that, Kurt and his campaign manager exited Mr. Schue's office.
Author: pizzaboat
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Mike Chang, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel
Pairings: Blaine/Mike/Santana friendship, Kurt/Blaine, Brittany/Santana
Word Count: 1300+
Summary: "Listen," began Blaine (and he tried to word this as vaguely as he could, just because Mike was there and they were in a public place and he really didn't want a repeat of the 'approach closet jock on an outdoor stairwell and get shoved into a fence' incident), "I'm ready to talk whenever you are."
Spoilers: 3.01, 3.02
Warnings: none
Author's Notes: Second installment in my Chanderpez 'verse. Annnd let's pretend that Brittany was Kurt's campaign manager for a wee bit longer, kay?
Blaine really couldn't remember how his boyfriend cleaning him up after a bad slushy facial turned into his boyfriend straddling him in the girls' bathroom, and after a while, he decided that he didn't care.
"This is the best thing that has ever happened at this school."
Kurt and Blaine's lips abruptly broke apart. Kurt's eyes were wide and steely gray under the fluorescent lights of the bathroom, paralyzed with horror. "Oh my god..."
Blaine straightened his green bow tie and cleared his throat. "Hi, Brittany...er...listen, I'm really sorry you had to see Kurt and I...um..."
"Can I join you guys? I mean, I know that Kurt's capital-G Gay, but he is seriously one of the best kissers I know."
"Brittany, we-wait, what?"
Kurt's ears were tinged with red. "Sophomore year. It involved Mellencamp and flannel and it was one of the lowest moments of my life."
"But when I met you, you said that you've never been kissed!"
"I think my exact words were, 'one that counted.'"
Blaine's mouth opened into a little 'oh' of realization.
Brittany stepped a little bit closer to the two boys. "Guys, I think I need to tell you something. San's been acting really sad, ever since Schue kicked her out of glee, and I think it's because she's a dolphin and she needs help."
"Damn, she's in the closet and she doesn't even have the Glee club?"
The shorter boy's eyes widened with shock. "How did you get in the closet from dolphin?"
"Guess I'm just used to the way Brittany talks. But Santana practically has it down to an art form," explained Kurt.
"But I tried to get Mr. Schue to let her back in, and he said that he couldn't. I wish he would realize that Santana's not a bad person. And I think she needs the glee club right now, but she won't even talk to anybody. She's too upset."
Blaine's eyes met Kurt's, and he knew that Kurt knew that Santana needed New Directions, right now, more than ever.
"Well, where is she right now?" asked Blaine.
"In the library."
Blaine was a little surprised at that answer, for Santana definitely didn't strike him as the bookish type.
"I think that you should talk to her," Kurt whispered to him.
"Why me? After I was such a terrific mentor to you last year?"
"Hey, you had your low moments," said Kurt teasingly, "But overall, you were a pretty fantastic mentor. Until that one time when you accidentally made out with me over my pet bird's casket."
"Wow, Kurt. You are such a fantastic boyfriend. You are the love of my life. You raise me up so high," Blaine deadpanned.
"But seriously," Kurt added, "You might wanna leave that out on your 'Magical Fairy-Gay-Parent' resume."
"I don't think I'll kiss my mentee this time, considering the fact that we're both the wrong gender." Blaine's lips had quirked up into a smug little smile.
The boys exchanged fleeting smiles, before Blaine exited the girls' bathroom in the pursuit of his next potential mentee.
***
Blaine waltzed into the McKinley high school library, hazel eyes scanning behind the shelves and in between tables for Santana. It didn't take long to find her, or the scene she was causing with Mike Chang.
"Listen, Santana, Britt and I are really-"
"Oh, you're worried? Well, that's cute. But as long as fucking Schuester is running that club, I can't go back there."
Her dark brown eyes met Blaine's. "Oh god, did Brittany tell again?"
"Tell what?" asked a puzzled Mike.
"Listen," began Blaine (and he tried to word this as vaguely as he could, just because Mike was there and they were in a public place and he really didn't want a repeat of the 'approach closet jock on an outdoor stairwell and get shoved into a fence' incident), "I'm ready to talk whenever you are." He started to walk away, but didn't get a chance to, before a practically ancient old lady started snarling at him.
"We're really sorry, Ms. Bletheim," began Mike, "We swear, we-"
"You arts kids are always up on your high horses; thinking that it's perfectly acceptable to speak as loud as you please, while other students are trying to work," she said.
"Um, Ms. Bletheim, if I may?" began Blaine, "You're kind of disturbing other students as well."
The fury in the elderly woman's eyes was more than Blaine had seen in any teacher's in his life. Santana gave an amused little gasp, and Mike and Blaine were petrified with fear.
"All three of you. Detention until five o' clock today," said Ms. Bletheim. She handed out three students each a pass, and Blaine could feel the bridge he was trying to build with Santana start to crumble before he even started trying.
***
Will was sitting in his desk, drinking coffee and thinking about his sex life, as usual. He was actually about to leave, when the door swung open, and Kurt, followed by Brittany, waltzed into his gave his students a warm smile. "Hey, guys. What can I help you with?"
"Well, it's not exactly us who needs the help, Mr. Schue," said Kurt, "It's Santana."
Will frowned a little bit. "Listen, I get that you want to help your friend, but do you think this club is going to be taken seriously if we let the member who we kicked out back in?"
"I don't think that this club is ever going to be taken seriously, and Santana's going through a really tough spot right now, and, well, she needs us. A lot."
"Well, she really shouldn't have went on our backs like that," said Will, "I'm sorry, Kurt. But I have to be tough on you guys, or else we won't be able to make it to Nationals."
Kurt stared at Mr. Schue for a long time, and, through his brain ran every single memory of every single, miserable time he had when he was in the admittedly transparent closet and when he came out, and where the hell he would be if it wasn't for this club, for Rachel, for Finn, for Mercedes, and how it strangely wasn't for his teacher. The guy who wanted him to be Frank-N-Furter and wouldn't let him join the girls' team, before finally saying, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Kurt-" began Will.
"Why do you care so much about Nationals all of the sudden? You were the one who made us write songs two days before the competition. And you know what I just realized? You do absolutely nothing to help us grow. Nothing. I'm helping Rachel, Rachel's helping Finn and me, Tina was helping Artie, Mike and Tina are helping each other, Blaine and Brittany and I are trying to help Santana, but you just sit there and ramble on about your sex life to anybody with two ears. Yeah, Quinn told me about that."
"Kurt, this is the end of this discussion. I'm-"
"And you do nothing to stop the fights we have right in front of you, in the choir room, and you cast Sam as Rocky Horror, and when it made him uncomfortable, you cast yourself. Do you even realize how inappropriate that is? And you have the nerve to do that to-"
"Alright, alright! I'll let Santana back in, so as long as she pledges her loyalty to this club."
Kurt took a deep breath, and, suddenly, his brain caught up with his heart. "Oh my god. I can't believe that I said that."
"You're really attractive when you get angry," said Brittany.
"Mr. Schue, I'm so-"
"No, Kurt, it's okay. I-just please. Leave."
And with that, Kurt and his campaign manager exited Mr. Schue's office.