Goodbye, Goodnight, For Good -6/?- Ruki/Uruha
Title: Goodbye, Goodnight, For Good
Author: piyokolove
Genre: Angst, Drama,
Bands/Pairings: The GazettE; Ruki/Uruha [slight Uruha/Aoi]
Disclaimer: I don't own the sexy Gazemen..
Chapters: 6/?
Warnings: MxM, Sex
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: Ruki and Uruha live in the same town, live in the same apartment complex, and work at the same place but how close do they really get? And do they stay that close? One night will change it all. Uruha's POV
Comment: Gosh.. I don’t know how I went this whole week without writing a single bit. I swear it was torture.. but now it is time to get to business! After I grab a piece of cheesecake :3
The five minute walk back to the hotel was hell. Tears streamed down my cheeks, but thankfully not a single sob shook my body. Maybe the tears were just my body’s way of cleansing my heart; a way to finally get Ruki out of my system once and for all. As we walked Aoi’s hand never left mine, not even for a split second. I really didn’t know what to think of this, and I also didn’t know why he was even still there by my side. A normal person would’ve taken a step back away from the situation and fled the scene before things got even uglier. But I guess Aoi wasn’t a normal person. He was much more noble and remarkable than a normal person could’ve ever been. Plus he was my best friend. Key word was…
When we finally reached our room I let my hand slid free of Aoi’s and I quickly collapsed on the bed. Tucking my knees to my chest, I curled into a fetal position, and rested my head on the soft down pillow at the head of the bed. It was only then that the tears started flowing heavily and my mind began reeling. It was really over, and I was having a very hard time accepting such a fact. It was a fact that I should’ve accept months ago. So why only now? Was I some kind of thick skulled idiot? Maybe that’s what was wrong with me.
“Uruha, you can’t sleep like this.” I heard a distant voice drawing me back from my withdrawn state. “And why not..” I retorted between sobs. I heard a sigh and then suddenly I felt a pair of hands undoing my belt. I bolted straight up and came face to face with Aoi. His eyes seemed to dance in the dim light only the tabletop lamp provided and his expression looked tired. I could feel his hot breath on my face, and his hands rested still on my belt buckle. “What are you doing Aoi?” The terrible fear that he was taking the earlier kiss very far out of context was dawning on me and I tried to scoot away from his prying hands. “Gah,baka! Fine, undress yourself.” He said throwing his hands up in surrender before walking off to the bathroom and shutting the door with a resounding click as the bolt slid into the latch. I could only sit there dumbfounded for a few seconds before realizing that he had only tried to be kind and undress me so I could sleep. “I’m sorry..” I whispered and slid off the bed and undid my belt, letting the jeans slid off my behind and down my thighs. With the uncomfortable jeans removed I climbed back on the bed, and under the covers so Aoi wouldn’t walk out and find me clothed in only boxers and a t-shirt. Though he had seen less that morning, things had changed. Now I knew why had hadn’t averted his eyes. Why hadn’t I realized all of this earlier though?
I tried falling asleep for nearly half an hour, but it was fruitless. I just couldn’t find any entrances into dreamland. It was if it was telling me I had to stay awake just a little longer, then when I heard the bathroom door open I knew why sleep had been evading me. As Aoi walked to his bed, his eyes landed upon me, obviously surprised I was still awake. Walking back towards me he took a seat upon the edge of my bed, his back to me, and he stared at his hands he kept folded in his lap. “I’m sorry for snapping at you like that.” His voice sounded thick…almost like he had been crying. “I deserved that, and so much more.” I murmured as I took in his saddened features. I longed to comfort him, but I feared that any comfort I tried to provide would only bring the raven haired man further sadness. “You don’t deserve any cruelty of any sorts.” He said, finally turning to face me. I noticed his eyes had lost the shimmer that they had held hours ago while we walked aimlessly through Tokyo’s busy streets. Infact, now they looked dull and flat. Had I killed his heart too? An all too familiar ache attacked my heart but I held back the tears, not wanting them to slice through the quiet talk I was having with Aoi. “But I do deserve it..” I protested as I sat up so I could be level with him. A small smile peaked in the corner of his mouth and he let out a small sigh. “Why are you always so stubborn?” He asked in a light manner, and for a brief second I could see the man who I knew as Aoi, not the cold caricature infront of me. “I’m not being stubborn.. What happened back at the bar.. I deserve cruelty.” The older man just shook his head, and ran a hand through his dark hair, as if raking his brain for what to say next. Nothing was sad, and we endured a few silent minutes filled with tension. I wasn’t used to having tension in the air with Aoi. Nothing had ever been strained with him. Talking to Aoi was like playing in a spring breeze; relaxed and free. “Why?” My voice was low as I waited for his reply. “Why what?” He replied drowsily. “Why are you still here?” I asked, a new wave of emotion hitting me. It was a mix of fear and realization of what I would be losing. I honestly didn’t know what I would’ve done without Aoi by my side. His tired expression changed to one of grief and anger. “Do you not want me here?” He seemed to growl and I shrunk a bit, though I knew he didn’t mean to sound harsh. “No, I mean yes, I want you here, but I was asking why you stayed. Aren’t you mad at me?” I squeaked out and watched his expression soften considerably. “I could never leave you Uruha, not unless I know you wanted me to, and staying mad at you is pointless.” Our eyes met and there I saw a troubled heart and a confused mind staring back me from behind Aoi’s dark eyes. I leaned closer to him, and it seemed as if our eyes were holding their own conversation. Not a word was spoken as he lifted a hand to cup my cheek softly, and I didn’t make a sound as I rested my hand upon his and snuggled into his touch. I closed my eyes for a split second and then I felt a pair of lips upon mine. They weren’t hungry or oppressive, just a light, chaste touch. I leaned into the kiss and brought my own hand to stroke Aoi’s cheek softly as our lips melted together.
The other man was the one to pull away this time, a small smile gracing his lips now. “Goodnight Uruha.” And with those words I was laid back down, and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.
Hours passed, but my sleep remained fitful, like it had been the months following Ruki’s initial rejection. I remember waking up a few times during the night, and at one point I remember looking at the clock and noticing it read 2:34, and then glancing the empty bed across from me. ‘Where’s Aoi?’ I thought drowsily, my eyes heavy with sleep and my mind still in a fog from such disturbed sleep. I looked back at the clock and I became worried. Aoi never stayed out this late. Granted we didn’t live together, but I knew him like that back of my hand, or atleast I thought I did. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and I jumped at the sound, my heart pounding away in my chest. “Well speak of the devil..” I chuckled to myself and slide out of bed groggily, my bones weary and my muscles sore from the events of the previous day. Walking to the door seemed like a chore, and my whole body was screaming at me to crawl back into bed, but I couldn’t. I had to let Aoi in, because obviously he had forgotten his keycard. As I opened the door the bright lights of the hallways spilled into the room and I squinted my eyes against the intensity. “Aoi, you should be less forgetful.” I laughed lethargically, and opened my eyes fully, but to my surprise instead of Aoi standing before me it was Ruki.
“Wha..” Was all I could manage before my lips were taken in a kiss that was rougher than Aoi’s but still managed to stay soft. It was a kiss that was purely Ruki. I felt his arms wrap tightly around my waist, pulling me as close to his body as possible. I wanted to relish such a moment, but something the back of my head nagged me otherwise, and soon the problem became evident. I pulled away, the first word to spill from my now breathless mouth being, “Aoi.” I looked down at Ruki and he looked only slightly surprised. “He’s in the bar getting drunk” He whispered quietly and began kissing my neck gently, sucking at the skin tenderly. He trailed a path of kisses from my jaw bone to the hollow of my neck, the whole time my breathing growing uneven and heart racing out of control. I didn’t know what was happening. His lips soon found mine again and he intended to deepen the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth, but I pulled away before access was granted. He seemed disappointed but I wasn’t worried about his feelings right now. I was more worried about what he was doing here right now.
Before me stood the man I had longed for for nearly a now. But what reason did he have to come back? Did he believe that I would take him back so easily? Did he believe me to be so willing as if to give myself away to him again? After nearly a year of pain and heartache did he think he could come running back and scoop me back into his arms? Why did he choose only now to seek me out? There were so many unanswered questions that clashed together in my head. “Go away.” My voice cracked as I pushed the other man away from me, his arms dropping back to his sides. It felt wrong to be denying him when all I had longed for for so long was his touch. I felt tears burn in my eyes, but I wouldn’t cry infront of him. He had seen enough of my weakness already. “Please Uruha, don’t.” I had wanted him to beg for me, and that had been my sole plan back in the bar, but why didn’t I take it so willingly now?
Was it because I was afraid of being hurt again? I knew I couldn’t relive all those months of pain. I didn’t think I would make it then, and I knew I wouldn’t make it a second time through.
Was it because I didn’t know if his feelings were genuine this time?
Or maybe it was because my heart now felt something for Aoi, and I didn’t want to hurt him.
“Why Ruki. Why shouldn’t I?” My voice hinted at the unsung tears lingering in my eyes, but like usual he didn’t say a word. He just looked back at me with the same eyes that I had first fallen for months ago. They pulled me in and it felt as if I was drowning, but I didn’t want to come up for air. Then he took one of my hands in his and laced our fingers together. I noticed that our hands fit together almost perfectly and a lump rose in my throat. He dipped his head, pulling me away from the sweeping current of his eyes, and cleared his throat. “Because… because I love you.”
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Note - I can’t write anymore tonight.. but you all mush be happy because we got out answer! He does love him! Yay.. now I can sleep peacefully knowing that that part it over with…but what will become of poor Aoi?
Well it’s 3am now.. bed time :3