No Different
Fanfic: No different
Author: Pixziestikxz
Pairings: TofuHo, !ninja HyunMin, JongKey
Rating: PG-13
Genre: drama, angst, fluff, AU
Length: 3,6354 words
Warning: slight swearing, unbeta'ed
A/N: just cuz I felt like TofuHo. XD Also, I take no credit for the idea. I stole it from a short story we read in english and decided to apply it to my own fanfic. keke. ♥
Summary: Jinki gets a brain transplant, and Minho suddenly finds that nothing is the same anymore...
--
Minho sat outside the operating room door, eyes wary and sleepless. Nevertheless, he sat there, and patiently waited. His fingers were entwined together as he stared down at them intently. He was going to get through this, he convinced himself. They were going to get through this. Jinki’s concerned parents paced around, however, circling around him like vultures. It made Minho slightly nervous, but he maintained his stoic and bit on his lower lip instead.
He almost jumped through the ceiling when the door burst open, and the doctor came out, tired and disheveled. Awkward silence filled the area for a moment, as the doctor slowly removed his operating mask. Minho stood up, and his heart was racing as he anticipated the doctor’s words. God, he needed to say something before Minho went insane.
“It’s a success.” The doctor said finally, and Minho released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in. Jinki’s parents squealed in delight, bringing Minho’s lips up to a slight curve. He wanted, no, he needed to see Jinki then. As if he understood Minho’s quiet desire, the doctor nodded and motioned for them to follow quietly behind. It was easy for Minho, but he had to calm down the much excited parents.
The moment Jinki came into view from the glass window by the room, Jinki’s parents had already rushed in, murmuring, praising the almighty for saving their son. They obscured his view while Minho stood back and watched from the window. There were cords and needles everywhere. He looked frail and heartbreaking, but nonetheless Minho was still happy to see him. He put his hand slightly against the glass, as he continued to stare at the sleeping figure on the bed.
“Jinki…” he finally murmured quietly. And the boy, as if hearing him, stirred slightly in his drugged slumber, slurring some words underneath his breath. Jinki’s parents finally calmed down, got used to the situation, and figured that Minho probably wanted some time with their son. They both dispersed and nodded at Minho on their way out, motioning for him to go in, and also hinting some thanks for being supportive throughout the whole thing. But Minho knew it was only the beginning.
Minho froze in his spot when he finally had a clear full view of his lover; but he took slow, steady steps, and soon enough, he found himself beside the bed. His hand caressed the boy’s cheek, running them up to his hair. Minho had expected butterflies from happiness. However, a small frown found itself on his face, and a small tug at his heart could be felt.
It wasn’t the same.
Months passed, as Jinki arose from a slow, but total recovery. His speech was coherent again, and he once again regained the use of his arms, legs, and everything else. Everyone was happy. Minho pretended to be, but there was still something that bothered him. Even Jinki knew it. But neither said anything about it. They both lived together as normally as they could again. They ignored the fact that Jinki looked completely different. Minho would come home every night, and Jinki would try greeting him with that same smile, but they both knew it.
Even down to the kisses, to how his touches felt, to how his body fit against Minho’s, nothing was just the same anymore. Minho pulled away in mid-kiss, startling Jinki a bit. But he couldn’t stand it any longer. He felt like crap for having lied to Jinki that whole time. The facts were strangling him, suffocating him. He had to get it out. He had to say it.
“I see.” Jinki said plainly, straightening up on the bed beside Minho. Minho looked up at him in confusion, but he merely smiled. “I know things haven’t been…the same since the accident. Frankly, I was worried at first. When I heard that they…switched my body, I was afraid that you would have left me. I know how you like things the way they are, and maybe, maybe when I get my new body, I thought that you wouldn’t like me anymore. I was surprised, glad beyond words, that you were the first person I saw when I woke up. And thank you for putting up with it all this time, but you don’t have to pretend anymore, Minho, it’s okay…” Jinki trailed, looking away.
Minho stared into space for a while, before it hit him that he wasn’t the only one suffering. What he felt right then, Jinki must be feeling ten times worse. He cupped Jinki’s face in his hands and faced it towards him, and leaned in for another kiss. Minho tried. He tried to imagine that it was Jinki’s old lips he was kissing once again. He tried to make it feel the same way it used to. But he couldn’t. And it didn’t. Minho knew it was no use to deny things. With a small sob, he broke away, but continued to hold Jinki in his arms. If it was to be their last night together, he might as well make it worth it. He felt Jinki dampen his shirt, as his muffled sobs erupted from Minho’s chest. Minho ran his fingers through his hair, letting his tears slide down quietly.
“I’m sorry…” he uttered through half sobs. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you…”
--
Minho moved out the day after, wiping the whole place clean of his presence, as if he was never there. He peeked inside the room quickly before exiting through the door, and caught a glimpse of Jinki buried under his blanket. At least that hadn’t changed. Minho forced a small smile on his face and quietly, he lugged his bags outside the door and pulled over a taxi, before he arrived at his parents’ doorstep.
They both tried to move on, but it wasn’t quite so simple considering the fact that they worked in the same office building. Jinki would smile up at Minho when they passed by each other, and Minho would greet him back with a nod at times when he noticed Jinki. But it wasn’t very often. Was he that different that Minho couldn’t even recognize him anymore? Sometimes Jinki would quietly cry to himself in the bathroom, only to walk out with the biggest grin on his face, as if he just did something stupid. Both had agreed to keep the whole thing between themselves; not even Jinki’s parents knew that they had separated. And as far as Minho’s parents knew, he’d been living with a girl all this time. They didn’t know. They didn’t need to know.
Someone had pushed Minho inside an empty staffroom one day, and locked the door behind them. Minho was confused at first, but when he saw who it was, it all made sense to him. And he was slowly starting to dislike it. His best friend, Kibum, stood there in front of him, arms crossed against his chest, as he stared down at Minho expectantly. And although Minho would consider Kibum to be his closest friend, even Kibum didn’t know what happened between him and Jinki. But Kibum had a knack for finding things out. And sometimes it annoyed Minho. This was one of those times.
“I know what you did to Jinki.” Minho saw it coming, yet, he released an impatient sigh.
“I didn’t do anything, really. It was for the best.
“For the best? For the best, really?! So what, you just...leave him like that? After all he’s done for you, after all you two have been through, after all the shit I had to give up just to hand him over to you! You just left him because he’s different now?” Kibum yelled at him, his furious gaze burning holes through Minho.
“Kibum! It’s not that easy, okay? It’s like…living with a completely different person. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore. He’s not Jinki anymore...I…I didn’t know it was his body that was ruined and. Oh god.” Minho shook his head.
“Don’t give me that crap. Besides, I know you’re still blaming yourself for it.”
There was silence on Minho’s behalf for a bit, as if he were thinking of what to say next. “Well, isn’t it? I mean, if I didn’t go on the damned business trip at 3 am, then he wouldn’t have needed to drop me off and drive back, and this all would have never happened.”
“Well, shit happens. And it really isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault some prick decided that just because it was three in the morning that he didn’t need to follow the rules and drive drunk. It just happens, Minho. Besides, Jinki wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this.”
“How did you find out anyway?”
“I heard someone crying in one of the bathroom stalls, and I waited until they came out. Then this kid came out with the biggest and fakest smile I’ve ever seen. It looked familiar to me, and when he was walking out the door, he tripped on his untied shoelaces. I helped him up and looked into his eyes for a bit, and that’s when it hit me. It was Jinki. I couldn’t believe it at first, but that was when he melted into my arms, crying “Kibum, I don’t know what to do~!” I told him to stop and calmly explain himself to me, and so he did.”
“Ah, so that’s how I got stuck with all the work yesterday.”
Kibum glared at him, and Minho exhaled, hoping his stress would go with his breath. But it didn’t. “Fuck. Kibum, I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Fucked up?” Kibum laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself, dear. You crossed that line a while ago.” Kibum smiled, sitting beside Minho on the ground.
“W-what should I do?”
Kibum rolled his eyes and wondered if he really should have handed Jinki over to this idiot. But he knew that Minho was the only one who made Jinki truly happy. With a sigh, he placed his hand on Minho’s shoulder and hung his head down. “Go apologize, you fucktard.” Kibum shoved him playfully.
--
“Did you see where Ji-that person who’s in there went?”
“He left ten minutes ago.”
With that, Minho headed outside, trying to look past people. Jinki couldn’t have gotten far; he knew that boy liked taking his time when he walked home. Minho jogged casually on the route that Jinki would have taken, taking deep, slow breaths to calm himself down. He had already gotten halfway through the way, yet Jinki was still nowhere in sight. And that’s when it dawned on him: He hadn’t been able to find him because he had been looking for the old Jinki.
Minho slowed his pace down, now looking around more carefully for that unfamiliar face he so longed to see. He looked ahead of him, beside him, behind him, inside the windows of shops and the cafés he passed by; but Jinki was still nowhere in sight. With a defeated sigh, he decided to retreat inside what used to be their favourite coffee shop. The familiar aroma and aura welcomed him, calming his nerves down a little. He’ll find him, he reassured himself. He’ll find him, no matter what it takes.
Just as he was heading towards what used to be their favourite spot, he found it taken, and he was about to retreat when he stepped back for a second, staring at one of them intently. Yepp, it was him alright. Minho slowly walked over there, head hung down, and slung his arm with the boy’s as he yanked him out of his seat. And as rude as it sounded, he didn’t even give a fuck that they were right in the middle of a conversation.
“Minho?” Jinki looked up at him questioningly, and Minho returned his gaze with a furious one of his own.
“Who the hell is that and what are you doing with him?! I was looking for you! You were supposed to be heading home!”
It was Jinki’s turn to be mad. He didn’t lose his temper very often, but when he did, it always surprised Minho. “What do you mean what am I doing with him?! What business is it of yours?!” Jinki’s eyes were threatening to spill with tears, and it surprised him when Minho enveloped him in a sudden hug.
“I’m sorry, Jinki…” It was the first time Minho had called his name since the day he found out he was different. And that alone, was enough to make Jinki burst into tears, not caring that the whole café’s attention was on them. Minho patted him on the back comfortingly, as they headed back towards the table. The other person looked up at him with an unreadable expression on his face, but it was replaced by a smile soon after.
“Hi, my name is Jong Hyun.”
--
It took a while for Jinki to calm down, and a cup of his favourite tea. The three sat in silence for a while, before Jinki finally cleared his throat and put the empty cup down. “Minho, this is Jong Hyun. He’s a…friend of the person who used to own this body.” Jinki turned his head slightly towards Minho, curious of his expression. But Minho sat there and bit his lip, nodding slightly. Jinki thought it was safe to proceed. “Well, we bumped into each other on my way home, and here we are.”
“I see.”
“His name was Lee Taemin.” The blonde stranger, Jong Hyun, finally spoke up. “I…I didn’t know he donated his body like this. I knew he died, and I thought he got cremated. He...he never told me.” He said quietly, his gaze set down on his cup. “To be honest, he was more than just a friend. He meant a lot more than that to me. We were, I guess, like you guys…” he looked up, looking at Jinki and Minho. “You two are going out, right?” Jinki was hesitant for a second, but Minho nodded, amazed at Jong Hyun’s perception.
“So it must have been weird seeing him walk around like that, huh?” Minho asked, snaking his hands into Jinki’s underneath the table. Jinki flushed slightly, but said nothing.
“Very. I thought I was dreaming at first. I almost got hit by a car, actually, but Tae-Jinki here pulled me out of the way. I’m really thankful.” He flashed them a smile, but even Minho could tell that it was fake. Was he intentionally trying to get hit? “At first I didn’t believe it. I mean, Taemin wouldn’t just do something like this without informing me, I knew he wouldn’t. Then, I thought maybe he had his reasons, you know? I don’t know, it’s just…weird. I’m sorry.” He added after, laughing awkwardly.
Minho and Jinki remained quiet, quite speechless, actually. “I mean. I wanted to sort of, believe that he was still alive when I saw him on the street. I was kind of hoping that maybe I dreamt up his death and everything, and that he was really standing in front of me. But then…I realized it wasn’t a dream.” Jong Hyun blinked and looked up at the two.
“And how’d you figure that out?” Jinki tilted his head to the side, giving Jong Hyun a puzzled look.
“Even though you make look like him, when we got in here, the way you acted, the way you sounded when you talk, and just…everything. Everything was different. I knew the person in front of me wasn’t Taemin anymore. Taemin’s gone. And he’s never coming back.” Jong Hyun burst into tears, and the two exchanged worried glances at each other before Jinki sat beside Jong Hyun to comfort him.
Minho sat in his place for a bit, speechless about the whole thing. The way Jinki comforted Jong Hyun like that, and even his hands; they felt like the old Jinki. They felt like how they were supposed to. Suddenly, Minho realized that what Jong Hyun said was all true. That Lee Taemin person, he was gone; but Jinki had been there all along. He never went away. All his little habits and his thinking were the same. The old Jinki he had been yearning for the whole time had always been there. He was just too blind to see it. Minho curled his hands into fists as a pang of guilt washed over him. He wanted to go over there and say sorry to Jinki over and over again, but he also knew that it was probably better if he just stayed in his place and let them finish.
“He still loves you, you know…”
Kibum’s sentence ran through his mind, as a small smile found their way on his lips.
--
“Sorry for troubling you guys like that. Thank you for putting up with me.” Jong Hyun bowed apologetically, but Jinki waved his arms about, telling him not to worry about it. They stood in front of Jong Hyun’s car, as he offered them a ride home. Minho shook his head and told him that they were close, however. But Jinki felt guilty for not taking up the offer. The two exchanged what seemed to be telepathic messages with each other through their eyes, and Jong Hyun watched in amazement.
“Actually, I forgot something back at the office. Would you mind driving there then back?” Minho finally spoke.
“No, not at all.” Jong Hyun grinned, as he told them to get in, and drove. The ride wasn’t filled with awkward silence, unlike they all expected. Slowly, they were all getting to know each other. Jong Hyun was glad to meet the “new” Taemin, and Jinki was glad that he was so understanding. Minho just went along with it all, and besides, Jong Hyun didn’t seem like such a bad guy.
They reached the front of the building and Minho spotted Kibum looking pissed as he carried Minho’s stuff in his arms. Mino chuckled slightly and got out, calling Kibum’s name. The raven snapped his head in his direction and shoved the belongings in Minho’s arms, giving him an “I’m- about- to- bitch- at- you” look. Minho cracked a small smile, before he motioned to look inside the car, hoping Kibum would see Jinki in there, and praise him, or something. Minho was puzzled at Kibum’s surprised reaction. Was it that surprising that they made up so quickly? “Who. Is. That. Sexy. Piece. Of. Ohmygod.” Kibum walked away, and Minho followed behind, kicking Kibum in the ass to make him stop.
“Yah! Jinki’s mine! I thought we already established that a while ago when you handed him over to me?” Minho questioned with a raised eyebrow, and Kibum turned to face him, biting on his lip.
“No, not him. The other guy.” Kibum pointed over with his eyes, and Minho followed the gaze to Jong Hyun.
“Oh. Him. Jong Hyun. He’s cool, I guess. Wanna ride with us? I’m sure he won’t mind.” Minho smiled slightly, and Kibum’s eyes grew excitedly.
“Have I ever told you I love you, Minho?” Kibum asked as he followed behind Minho, and he plainly chuckled at Kibum, shaking his head a little.
“Hey, Jong Hyun. This is my friend, Kibum. He uh, needs a ride, too. He lives in the same apartment building, so it really won’t be much trouble, but do you mind?” Minho smiled sweetly, and Jinki was pleased that he was trying to make an effort to try and get along with Jong Hyun.
The blonde was speechless for a moment, as he stared at Kibum. Kibum had a goofy smile on his face as he stared back, and Minho made tiny puking gestures as he got in. He took it as a no from Jong Hyun, and soon after, Kibum was in the passenger’s seat. They were all talking casually along the way, chatting like they had all known each other forever. Jinki was glad that things worked themselves out in the end.
“So, we’re here now.” Jong Hyun said awkwardly as he stared at the steering wheel. Everyone was quiet, and it was obvious that Kibum and Jong Hyun didn’t want to separate yet.
“Want to stay for dinner?” Kibum asked Jong Hyun, and Jinki shot a look at Minho, and he nodded, as if he got that. “Er, you two can come too, if you want?” Kibum smiled sheepishly at the two, but Jinki just smiled and shook his head.
“No, we have some catching up to do.” Jinki grinned, and Kibum shot him a thankful look.
The two couples headed into the apartment building, separating as they both headed into their own suites. Minho pinned Jinki against the door, not seeing this Lee Taemin person, but the squishy, lovable, dorky Lee Jinki that he fell in love with. He pressed their lips together for what seemed like an eternity, and pulled away hesitantly, resting their foreheads together.
“I love you.” Jinki grinned, beating Minho to the chase. Minho grinned back in response as Jinki’s arms wrapped themselves around his neck, and he pushed himself closer to him.
“I love you too. Also, I’m sorry.” Minho frowned, caressing Jinki’s face with the back of his hand. Jinki shook his head and gave Minho a quick peck.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’m just glad we’re both here now. That’s all that matters, right?”
Minho nodded in response and just continued to hold Jinki in his arms like that, staying in that position for a while. Suddenly, it was like the whole brain transplant thing never happened. For all he knew, he was with Lee Jinki, just how he loved him, and just how he always will.