Hello, my name is pixystixy and I am an addict.
Partners in Crime
Aand, we’re off! New season, straight into the opening credits. Ooo, lookey, it’s the Time Vortex! How pretty! Watch as it changes colors! And the TARDIS! Yay for the Tardis! Yay for David Tennant! Yay for Catherine Tate! OK, that’s enough of that.
We open on a busy street, full of busy people bathed in busy morning sunshine walking very busily. Donna is walking briskly down the street, complete with snappy music and a very flattering suit, if I do say so, although the shoes are just eh. Oh, well, she’s got damn good hair, so I guess that makes up for it. Cue the Doctor, also walking briskly down the street, but in the opposite direction. He too is in a suit, along with damn good hair, but with better shoes. They both end up at Adipose Industries, with Donna breezing in through the front door while the Doctor breaks in through the back (why didn’t the fire alarm go off?) Both use totally trumped up “Health and Safety” IDs. Ooh, great minds think alike!
In the Auditorium of Really Bored Looking People, Miss Foster, apparently the head of Adipose Industries (also wearing a very flattering suit, btw, but with damn good shoes), is enlightening the masses (okay, about 30 people, including Donna) as to the benefits of the latest and greatest diet pill known to man. Just one capsule a day, no exercise, no dieting and the “fat just walks away!” Well, I don’t know about you, but I quite like the sound of that. Where can I get me some?
Wait, though, apparently Penny, Intrepid Girl Science Reporter, isn’t convinced. Nor is the Doctor, up in the projection room. And Donna looks a bit skeptical as well. Betcha their collective noses will soon be poking into all kinds of places, what do you think?
Marketing spiel over, Donna and the Doctor head to Cubicle City, which is stuffed full of very sincere telemarketers who just want to make your fat run away. And when I say stuffed, I mean it. They’re sitting 3 and 4 to a cubicle. Seriously, could you have jammed a few more people in each of those things or what? Anyway, Donna plunks herself down in one with a very nice young man, the Doctor slides on into one with a very nice young woman (Oh, hey! Gratuitous David Tennant Tongue Moment!) and they both begin poking their noses into all kinds of places. Of course, the very nice young lady would like the Doctor to poke his nose into some of HER places, but that’s not going to happen. Well, darn. Sorry, very nice young lady. We learn that every client receives a free pendant, even if they’d prefer a pen, both very nice young people agree to print out a list of clients for our determined duo and then there’s a very cute scene with the Doctor and Donna impersonating a couple of prairie dogs as they pop up and down checking the location of the printer. And, of course, completely miss seeing each other. Too early in the episode for that, folks!
We’re interrupted by Miss Foster (along with two security guards or henchman or muscle or goons or Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee or whatever they’re calling them these days) who takes a moment to tell everyone that their sales performance isn’t quite up to her expectations. Unless they all increase their sales by 150%, she’ll do some fat-trimming herself. In case you hadn’t figured out she’s the bad guy in this episode, that’ll give you a big, honking clue. No uplifting, inspiring comments from Miss Foster, no sirree! Just a cheerful little threat to fire your sorry, underachieving asses!
Back to our prairie dog impersonators. Donna beats the Doctor to the printer for the client list. In all fairness, he probably would have gotten there first, if not for the very nice young lady propositioning him to play Health and Safety with her.
Onward to the clients! Donna goes to visit Stacey, who’s planning on celebrating the loss of 11 pounds in 5 days by dumping her boyfriend. Not to be rude, Stacey, but you might want to wait until you’ve lost oh, maybe another 20 or so before you dump the boyfriend. Then again, if you can do better than him after only 11 pounds, maybe the boyfriend is pretty crap to begin with. And oh, I’m really not sure if the earrings work, that’s a lot of purple you’ve got there, Stacey. Not to mention a lot of pictures around the mirror. There’s Stacey with some friends, Stacey with more friends, Stacey alone, Stacey in a cap and gown and a then a really close-up picture of a cat. Just a cat, though, no Stacey. Interesting and a bit creepy if you look real close.
Meanwhile, the Doctor has gone to visit another client, Roger, who has lost 14 kilos in 14 days. (Which is the same daily loss as Stacey. I know that because I looked up the pound to kilo equivalents.) Roger is very happy with his kilo loss, which occurs at 1:10 am every morning, but somewhat unhappy with his burglar alarm, which goes off every night, also at 1:10 am. Since he’s awake, he weighs himself, because that would be my first inclination when my burglar alarm goes off. (Roger seems a wee bit anal to me.) Anyway, the Doctor’s ears perk up at this little nugget and he traces the burglar alarm problem back to a cat flap which, he points out to Roger, not only lets a cat (which Roger doesn’t have, by the way) in, but also lets things out. Hmm, wonder what that could be?
I’d like to take a moment here for a Random Episode Shoutout: Doctor peering through a cat flap! “Rose”! Cat people! “New Earth”! Done now.
I’d like to take a second moment here for a Random IKEA Shoutout: Roger’s using Leksvik (in black) as a media center in his living room. Innovative decorating choice, Roger! He also has a wok, as evidenced by the IKEA wok cookbook on his kitchen table (although I was a bit distracted in that scene by, well never mind by what.) I’m pretty sure Stacey got her floor lamp there as well, and possibly the TV stand, but I’m dead sure that the glass in her bathroom is from IKEA. How do I know this? Well, being the total IKEA whore that I am, not only do I notice when IKEA items pop up in the various episodes, but I can usually name them, as well. This really got out of hand in Torchwood when I noticed two things. One, that just about all of Gwen’s apartment had been flat-packed at some point and two, I was totally distracted by the bedroom furniture in the opening scene of “They Keep Killing Suzie”. Never mind the two dead bodies in the bed or the blood smeared everywhere, people, that nightstand is from IKEA! It’s Malm! In white!
Back to Donna. Stacey is so freaking happy over her weight loss that she pops on up to the bathroom (where the IKEA glass lives), leaving a total stranger just sitting in her living room. Bored, Donna pulls out the complimentary Adipose pendant that she snitched earlier that day and gives it a twist. Not a good idea, as apparently the pendant doesn’t just make the fat walk away from Stacey, but rumble and gurgle and then pop right out into her sink. Not once, but twice, leaving two adorable little fat blobs who slide around in her sink and wave at her. (Look at their little teeth!) And then Miss Foster gets in on the picture, sending Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee to pick up the renegade fat blobs while she activates her own pendant and “full parthenogenesis”. This does not bode well for Stacey, I am thinking.
Over at Roger’s, the Doctor is just saying goodbye when this little gadget that looks like spark plugs and christmas lights pretty much goes ding! Who knew, the Doctor has his own full parthenogenesis detector! Sorry, Roger, but gotta go! The Doctor runs off, in pursuit of fat blobs. At least I think that’s what he’s running after. I’m not sure. It could be pointing him to Stacey or, for that matter, the signal coming from Donna or Miss Foster’s pendants. Anyway, the Doctor is off and running, something that not only does he seem to enjoy, but makes his coat look good as well. Run, Doctor, run!
Donna goes to check on Stacey. Regrettably, she’s a few moments too late and therefore completely misses out on the lovely sight (and sound) of Stacey’s “full parthenogenesis” which really means “blobs of fat go splat” all over the bathroom floor. Donna does arrive in time, however, to see one little fat blob jump out the window, but not before waving goodbye. Did I mention just how cute these little blobs are? And they’re friendly, too!
Now there’s some running back and forth through the streets, with the Doctor, then Donna, then Dum, then Dee all zipping about. Everyone’s looking for something, Donna and the Doctor miss each other by a few feet and a few moments (of course), and the Tweedles manage to collect all the fat (fun job!) with some very large nets (I’m guessing that’s what those were for) and drive off, leaving our heroes scratching their heads in confusion. Figuratively speaking, that is. And just around the corner from each other, wouldn’t you know it.
Thankfully brief interlude at Donna’s house where we meet Sylvia, yet another irritating harpy of a mother courtesy of RTD. Oh, just shut up, Sylvia, before I smack you. I want to hug Donna in sympathy.
Charming interlude with Donna and her granddad (It’s Wilf! Yay for Wilf!) up on a hill, looking for aliens with his telescope. Donna tells him that if he ever sees a little blue box up in the sky, he better shout for her. How he ended up with a daughter like Sylvia, god and RTD only know. I want to hug Wilf in sympathy. And just because he’s a sweetie pie.
Poignant interlude in the TARDIS where the Doctor is talking to…no one. And suddenly stops because he realizes he’s talking to…no one. Poor, lonely Doctor! I want to hug him in sympathy. And what the hell, because he’s cute. OK, mostly because he’s cute. And wow, the TARDIS looks freaking HUGE in that scene. And the Doctor looks really teeny tiny. Aww, now I want to hug him again.
Next morning, Donna escapes from Sylvia in the car, the Doctor fires up the TARDIS, they park down the street from each other (missing each other yet again) and it’s back to Adipose Industries, except this time, Donna hides in the bathroom and the Doctor hides in a broom closet. For the entire day. (Which makes me wonder, if the Doctor had to pee, where would he go? I mean, easy for Donna, obviously, but he’s in a closet, for chrissakes. For that matter, do Time Lords even pee? Yes, I wonder about these stupid things. Doesn’t everybody?) All the telemarketers go home (hope they all made their sales quotas), the Doctor pops out of his closet and just as Donna is ready to pop out of her toilet cubicle, oh no! Miss Foster and the Tweedles are on the hunt! The Tweedles start kicking doors open and guess who they find?! Penny, Intrepid Girl Science Reporter! OK, I totally didn’t see that one coming. Thought for sure Donna was a goner.
Penny starts blabbing that she’s checked all the records, she knows all the test results were faked, Adipose Industries is a great big sham, yada, yada, yada. Oh, Penny, so not smart. Seriously. What the hell are you thinking? Anyway, off we go to Miss Foster’s office, where Penny is tied to a chair and I am oddly distracted by her jacket lapels. Miss Foster proceeds to do a little blabbing herself as she falls prey to one of the oldest villain mistakes ever, the Big Reveal Before We Get Rid of the Sneaky Reporter. Hey, guess what, she’s an alien foster mommy who’s using diet pills to create little fat blobs that are actually little baby Adiposes, but luckily for Penny, it will be a bit longer before she is Gotten Rid Of. Because we have the Doctor and Donna listening in and, yep, you guessed it, they FINALLY see one another!
Herein follows, in my opinion one of the funniest scenes in Doctor Who this season. Donna sees the Doctor, the Doctor sees Donna and they proceed to have a very detailed conversation in which Donna tells the Doctor all about the lengths to which she has gone in her attempts to find him over the past year. In pantomime. Through two windows. Across the office where Miss Foster, the Tweedles and Penny are staring at them as if they’ve lost their minds. (Let me just say that as funny as I thought this scene was on first viewing, I found it even funnier after seeing the Confidential for this episode. At the readthrough, CT is given no real direction on how to mime this scene out, just the basic story line. CT’s reaction, as well as the reactions of the rest of the cast, is priceless. Not to mention, you get to see the entire scene.)
Anyway, Foster Mommy asks if she’s interrupting them and we get the classic “Run!” from the Doctor. And off they go! (Leaving Penny behind, still tied to the chair. Which is fine by me, she’s sort of annoying.) Donna and the Doctor meet up in the stairwell where they share a lovely hug, a few choice words are exchanged concerning the lack of variety in the Doctor’s wardrobe and they head to the roof, the Tweedles in hot pursuit and Donna’s mouth going a mile a minute. The Doctor and Donna climb into this gondola thingey that window washers use and lower themselves over the edge of the building, while the Doctor assures Donna that they’ll be safe, he’s locked the controls with his trusty sonic screwdriver and, unless Foster Mommy has her own sonic device (highly unlikely), well…Doctor, you’re shit out of luck, cause guess what, she’s got a sonic pen! Take that, sonic screwdriver! Down the gondola goes! And, to make matters worse, Foster Mommy proceeds to cut one of the cables to the gondola, Donna falls out but manages to hang onto the dangling cable and the Doctor saves the day (and the rest of Season 4) by zapping the sonic pen right out of Foster Mommy’s hand and into his before she can cut the other cable and send our daring duo plunging to the pavement. Isn’t this exciting?! Good golly, it is!!
Back at the office, Penny is still tied to the chair and wondering what the hell is going on. I think Penny, along with being annoying, might possibly be a bit stupid. Anyway, the Doctor manages to open a window and fall in and rescue Donna and the two of them exchange a bit more banter before running off. Oh, and the Doctor unties Penny and tells her to get out. Does she listen? Of course not, she’s Intrepid Girl Science Reporter and she’s going to get her story! Ha! She’s just going to get tied to that chair again. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. She might as well sit down right now.
Cubicle City once again. The Doctor and Donna run right into Foster Mommy and the Tweedles, where she finishes her Big Reveal (goodness, this woman likes to chat!) Yep, she’s an alien supernanny making all these little baby Adiposes because the Adipose family lost their breeding planet. But wait, the Doctor points out, what she’s doing is illegal! Gasp! Not only that, she really doesn’t care if, instead of just fat, she converts entire humans (bones, flesh, the works) into little Adipose babies. In fact, since her nefarious plot has been discovered, she’s going to do just that, speed up the whole process, convert all the Adipose clients into Adipose fat blobs and skedaddle off the planet. And the Tweedles have guns. So there, Doctor, just try and stop her!
Well, who can resist a challenge like that? The Doctor points the sonic screwdriver at the sonic pen and proceeds to sonic the hell out of everyone’s eardrums and a lot of glass panes while he and Donna make their escape. Foster Mommy heads to her office to power up some hidden inducer thing that will make everyone’s fat go splat all at once and the Doctor and Donna head to the broom closet to access the same thing and stop her. Oh, and Penny gets tied to the chair. Again. Told ya.
Quiet little interlude between the Doctor and Donna, as he’s doing a bit of rewiring to the inducer. Donna asks how he’s been and we hear a bit about Martha, how he destroyed half her life but she’s fine now, Rose is still lost, that’s my life in a nutshell, how’s yours? We get a little bit of Donna and her lost expectations after her day with the Doctor and her basically crap life since then. There’s a friendship and understanding between these two characters that I absolutely adore and I love how naturally CT and DT carry it off. But enough of this, on with the story! Good god, Foster Mommy has powered up the inducer!
Pop on over to the local pub and Sylvia is out with the girls. One of them, Suzette, waxes poetic (well sort of) about Adipose diet pills, the return of her chin and the loss of two sizes. Hang on, Suzette, you’re about to lose a lot more than just two sizes. Things aren’t looking good for Roger, either. Or the various other patrons of the pub and assorted Londoners who suddenly find themselves popping out little Adipose left and right. On the other hand, it’s rather fun to watch the little blobs run all over the place. C’mon, you gotta love the one sliding down the hood of a taxi (OK, we’ll ignore the fact that the taxi just ran over a couple) and then the one just skipping along the street! And look at their little teeth, how freaking adorable are they? Explain to me why there aren’t little stuffed Adiposes for sale on the BBC’s website. I’d certainly buy one. Admit it, you’d buy one too.
Okay, totally random comment here. I was hugely disappointed in the lack of Six Degrees of Whoville in this episode or what I like to call, Where the Hell Have I Seen You Before? Just about every episode has an actor or two who have been in something with DT or something that RTD wrote or produced or something that somehow connects to Doctor Who. And all I could come up with for this episode was that Wilf was in a Classic Who movie back in 1966. How crap is that?
Back to the soft, squishy cuteness. Foster Mommy has turned the power up to a gazillion and everyone is about to go splat. The Doctor is totally freaking out, he already used his complimentary pendant (Remember those? And to think you wanted a pen!) to divert the signal once, but after Foster Mommy turned the power up to two gazillion, he needs another! Oh no! The Doctor is freaking out, his hair is freaking out, Sylvia is freaking out! But guess what, Donna has a second pendant! Crisis averted! Lives are saved! Yay for Donna! Boo, hiss for Foster Mommy! Oh, and Penny is still tied to the chair, in case anyone cares.
Up in the sky, the great big Adipose nursery spaceship has arrived. Time to go home! Lots of nice big spotlights start sucking up all the little fat blobs and Donna and the Doctor are suddenly back on the roof (hold on, they were just down in the basement. How did they get there that fast? Have you seen Donna try and run in those shoes?) waving goodbye to the fat drifting up into space. Donna also manages a few comments about Martha and how she must have been mad, blind and very charitable after the Doctor mentions that Martha fancied him. Hee. I love Donna. And here comes Foster Mommy, floating on up to the spaceship along with all the rest. But wait, the Doctor knows what’s really in store for her and tries to get her to come back to the roof. She refuses, saying that someone has to look after all the little Adipose (Adiposes? Adiposii? What the hell is the plural anyway?) No such luck, Foster Mommy! I do believe that your performance isn’t quite up to the required standards and you’re about to get some fat trimmed yourself! First clue? When her spotlight is abruptly turned off. Second clue? When she goes splat. Right on the pavement. Ick.
Outside the building, Penny trots on past the Doctor and Donna, still tied to the chair, looking somewhat like a hermit crab and nattering on about how they're all mad. Hey, room to talk, she's the one wearing a chair. I really hope one of the nice emergency people in the background finally untie her, because our dashing duo didn’t. (I wouldn’t have, either. I’d have probably knocked her over and left her lying there, like a turtle on its back, truth be told.)
We’re back in the alley where Donna’s car and the TARDIS are parked (both a lovely shade of blue, btw) and Donna is unloading a ton of luggage and a hatbox. Seems that she’s been packed for ages, just waiting for the Doctor to pop back into town and whisk her away. (After all, he DID invite her to go along with him, way back when on Christmas Day after her louse of a fiancé tried to feed her to a giant spider.) She’s chattering away, so very excited to be finally off on her great adventure that it takes her a few moments to notice that the Doctor doesn’t look all that enthused. This allows us to have a lovely little scene wherein the Doctor, for the first time in my memory, actually stops and thinks before he just dashes off to parts unknown with a new companion. He warns Donna that it’s a “funny old life” in the TARDIS, telling her that things with Martha got a little complicated and he was to blame. He really just wants a mate to travel with and here the lovely little scene turns into a comic little scene as Donna mishears and tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s not mating with her and that’s final. Ever. But not to worry, she can still come along. Yay! (And wow, CT and DT act the hell out of this entire scene.) Anyway, Donna starts to give the Doctor a nice, platonic, non-mating hug when she suddenly remembers that she still has her mother’s car keys and scampers off to who the hell knows where, leaving the Doctor to haul all her luggage into the TARDIS. Hmm, he might want to rethink this new companion after all.
Around the corner, Donna calls her mother, tells her she’s leaving the keys in a bin on the corner and then asks some random blonde woman to pass the message on. But wait, it’s not some random blonde woman, OMG, it’s Rose! Who turns, walks away and then simply fades out of sight. WTF!? How is Sylvia going to get her car keys?!
Back to the TARDIS, where the Doctor and luggage are waiting. Donna runs in and the Doctor starts to give her the “bigger on the inside” speech but she cuts him off and tells him he should turn up the heat. (Yep, really rethinking this new companion right about now.) The Doctor fires up the TARDIS and they fly off to…the hill above Wilf. He sees the blue box and, bless his heart, starts shouting for Donna. And then the door to the TARDIS opens and Wilf sees Donna and the Doctor, both waving at him. He does this happy little Wilf dance and off they go! Bye, Doctor! Bye, Donna! See you next week in Pompeii!