hmm,
Well, I haven't written anything in here in a while... I guess it is time for an update. I think that Les is mad at me, or something along those lines. There is an artist who does fantasy art work using nude model pictures. Well, I have a few things of myself done by him and I sent the latest one to Les. I think that he really dislikes it, but I don't see why. I mean, I know where he is coming from, but it makes me feel more like he is a gaurdian than a boyfriend. I just want his support. It is really hard for me to do this type of thing to begin with because I have major problems about the way I look and I try not to let it show. By posing for the art, it helps me to break down that wall I have built and make me feel better about myself. I mean, think about it, How many people do you know who, even when alone, get dressed under a towel (or however you spell it, that might be right) and even after loosing over 50 pounds, still think they are fat? Well, that's what I do. I know that I have low self-esteem and I try not to let it show, but I can't hide it from myself. I just wish that he acted the same as he had been before I showed the picture to him. After he saw it he got really close-mouthed and everytime he said something it was short and sounded angry. Oh well, I was having a good day. I'm on an eggs kick, like breakfast for dinner. Oh yum! Well, I don't feel like writing anymore...