to lexie
i wanted to give u some time to cool off about the whole situation at hand. im not writing in this journal to try and put u down or defend what i have done, but i just want you to hear me out...hear what i have to say and either listen to me or forget about this entry completely. but i do hope u listen. there is nothing i can say to justify what i have done, basically i know that i have done wrong. i never got the chance to talk to you since the incident, but i want you to know that i am sorry for letting things get out of control. self control is something that i have been working on lately and its because of what happened. i lost a good friend and the love of my life because of what i did. im hurting too, but i know your in so much more pain than i am since you are on the other side of this. the only reason i called to tell you about what happened was because i wanted you to hear what happened from ME...rather than a whole bunch of other people. is that understandable? i dont know...maybe i shouldnt have told you, but i didnt want to lie to you. you didnt deserve what i have done to you, but sometimes people make mistakes. and this entry is just letting you know that im a big enough person to admit my mistakes lexie. i never meant to hurt you and i dont want to lose u as a friend, but it looks like it is too late. just know if u ever needed anything i would be here for you. another thing that i have learned lately is that people always make mistakes. it doesnt make someone a bad person because they did something wrong. it makes them a bad person if they dont realize what they have done. its not like im sitting here saying fuck you i dont care..or soo what i hooked up with alex...i know that i fucked up, and i have accepted that. people change everyday, for the good and for the bad, but i know that i have learned from everything that has happened this summer. i hope u believe me that i am trying to change and become a better person. once again, i understand that you hate me right now and you have every right to be angry.