Kite/Tezuka [fic]
Title: Letting the cables sleep
Pairing: Kite/Tezuka - future timeline
Rating: R
Summary: Kite tries to accustom himself to an empty bed after Rin has packed up and gone. A chance meeting with an old rival helps to ease the separation anxiety.
a/n ~ the end :)
one + two + three + four + five + six + seven + eight + nine + ten + eleven + twelve + thirteen + fourteen + fifteen + sixteen + seventeen + eighteen
letting the cables sleep
chapter nineteen
The room looked different in the bright light of day. Smaller. Strangely enough, it reminded Tezuka of his own room - spare, succinct, austere. Kite's room, however, possessed the quirky little things that made it personal where Tezuka's did not. Brightly colored origami birds strung together to hang in the corner, a purple rug on the floor, the stack of magazines lined neatly along a tiny bookshelf, sandwiched between classic literature and what looked like pulp fiction. There were potted plants along the windowsill with tiny plastic pandas on either side. A poster of an American comic book hero that Tezuka recognized but could not name.
When he moved to rise from the bed, pajamas twisted uncomfortably, he glanced around for his bag. Relieved to find it against the wall with Kite's, he was quick to rummage through it for a t-shirt and pair of shorts. It occurred to him that he would need to do laundry soon as he'd only packed enough clothes to visit Oishi and attend Yumiko-san's engagement party. He smiled to notice the full-length mirror on the back of Kite's closet door; it was often easy to forget how vain he could be.
Walking slowly in the hallway, he listened for the sound of Kite's voice, heard him speaking to his mother and tried to quell the butterflies that took flight in his belly. He was nervous and couldn't pretend otherwise. So afraid that Kite's family would not accept him - accept them. Where would such an occurrence leave their relationship? Did Kite value him enough to choose him, should it come to that?
A bird's manic squawking startled him then, the sound he made just loud enough to bring Kite into the hallway after him.
"I didn't know you were up," he said, expression neutral when he swept Tezuka with a cursory glance.
Folding his arms over his chest, Tezuka mumbled, "I didn't intend to lie in bed all morning." The accusation was there in his voice, that Kite should have awakened him in order to save him the embarrassment of stumbling to the breakfast table with tousled hair and sleepy eyes. That Kite recognized it was evident in the smile he offered Tezuka.
"I forgot what a grouch you were in the morning," he said, reaching for Tezuka's hand, but not insisting when Tezuka did not allow it. "Did Mika wake you?"
Following him into the small kitchen, Tezuka half-bowed to Kite's mother on his way past the table, surprised and distracted to notice the pretty young woman busy sketching at the table. She was tall, willowy with bobbed hair and glasses. Her demeanor wasn't half so severe as the expression on her face and when she glanced up, tucking her hair behind one ear to smile at Tezuka - she looked so much like Kite that Tezuka felt the tips of his ears warm.
"Tezuka-kun," she said, voice low and confident and almost flirty enough to make Tezuka blush. "Welcome."
Lips pursed, Kite's mother wiped her hands on a towel and moved to set bowls of broth on the table. "Move those crayons off the table and eat, young lady." But then she smiled warmly at Tezuka, fingertips light at his elbow when she gestured to the table. "Please, be comfortable, Tezuka-kun."
"Ah, thank you," he said, bowing again before taking a seat next to Kite's sister. "You must be Mika."
"No," she said, rolling her eyes. "That would be the bird."
At Tezuka's wide-eyed expression, she laughed and swept the markers and sketchbook off the table. "I'm Hana."
The bird squawked again, wings flapping in excitement or vexation - Tezuka wasn't sure. Mostly red, with splashes of yellow, blue and green, it quieted easily enough when Kite leaned in close.
"Shhh, pretty thing," he murmured. "Don't fret." The kissing and humming noises that followed caused Tezuka to shift uncomfortably in his seat, though Kite seemed to feel no humiliation for baby-talking to a bird in clear earshot of the rest of them. "Be a good girl and daddy will give you some yummy mango, hm?"
"You're making me sick," Hana said, narrowing her eyes at Kite and sliding a bowl close to her. "You and that bird."
Kite straightened then, all dignity when he took his place at Tezuka's side. "Hm," he sniffed, stirring the onion in his soup. "Jealous that she loves me and not you?"
"Of course I am," she agreed amiably. "That's why I tried to stuff her in my EZ Bake Oven once."
Kite frowned. "I thought we agreed never to talk about that."
"Why don't you take her home with you, Eishi-nii? She pines for you, do you know?"
"I can't," Kite responded. "I'm not home often and she would be lonely."
"The solution would be to visit more often," Kite's mother said. "Ne, Eishirou?"
"Yes, Mother," he answered dutifully, nudging Tezuka's foot with his own.
Tezuka glanced at him quickly, covertly, and Kite offered him a secret sort of smile before turning his attention to his breakfast.
"It's a surprise to have you as our guest, Tezuka-kun," Kite-san went on. "When I last spoke to Kite, I was under the impression he'd be coming alone."
"I've inconvenienced you," he began awkwardly. "I'm very sorry."
"Of course you haven't," she was quick to assure him, replacing the pickled radish he'd already eaten. "Ei-chan was so sad when we spoke that I was certain he'd be coming home for a nice, long vacation, that's all."
"Mother," Kite warned, staring at her from over the lenses of his glasses.
"Fine, fine," she relented, spooning natto onto her rice. "I'm just glad to have you. Both of you," she emphasized.
"Where's the old man?" Hana asked, having already made short work of her soup and moving on to the rolled omelet.
"Where else?" Kite-san answered. "I expect he'll show up right before dinner, empty handed and full of fish stories." She looked at Kite then. "You and Tezuka-kun will be here for dinner, won't you, Eishirou?"
Kite shrugged, considering. "Not sure. Tezuka and I have to leave day after tomorrow and I wanted to see the guys before then."
Hana and Kite-san exchanged a look and the conversation died.
"What?" Kite demanded, glancing between the two of them. "What was that for?"
"Nothing," they said in unison, sharing another guilty look.
"You're up to something," Kite said. "What's going on?"
Kite-san rose then, breakfast effectively dismantled. "Suspicious," she admonished. "It's nothing. I hope you boys have a good time."
"No drinking and carrying on in public," Hana said, smiling sweetly.
"I'll see what I can do," Kite deadpanned. "Tezuka likes to party."
Hana snorted. Tezuka kicked Kite's foot under the table.
But then Kite was smiling at him - focused and attentive even with his mother and sister present. There was no mistaking the regard in which he held Tezuka. "Right, Kuni-chan?" he murmured softly.
Tezuka blushed, ducking his head to sip unobtrusively at his soup. But still he nodded, however slightly. "Aa."
* * *
Rin's dilemma, that particular morning, came in the form of a most unwelcome set of choices. Chinen had no air-conditioning; it was stifling hot. He had no curtains; it was ridiculously bright outside. Beneath the sheets, Rin sweated freely and Chinen was a seven-foot-tall furnace in the bed beside him. If he pressed closer, he could keep the sunlight at bay at least until he was ready to admit defeat and tumble out of bed. Of course, if he did so, he'd become so miserably hot that faking sleep would no longer be an option. If he kicked the blankets off and shoved Chinen away, he'd be cooler, but then the light would disturb the cocoon of sleep he'd so carefully constructed during the night. Flopping onto his belly and groaning into his pillow, he cursed the hateful sun and the blazing heat that accompanied it.
"We should get up anyway," Chinen murmured, already awake and scrunched into the six or seven inches of space Rin afforded him.
"You're hot," was all that Rin would say, lips pressed into the pillow to muffle his voice.
"Thank you," Chinen returned politely, swinging long legs over the side of the bed and pushing himself upright. He rubbed the back of his head, mattress creaking beneath him.
Slapping blindly at him, Rin groaned again, on the verge of a mini-tantrum. "Not that kind of hot, idiot. And stop shaking the bed."
Chinen grunted, vertebra popping when he stood to stretch. "I'll sleep on the sofa," he said. His bare feet slapped the floor, signifying his departure, and Rin lifted his head from the pillow.
"Hiroshi."
Pausing in the doorway, Chinen turned his head in profile. He didn't look at Rin.
"Don't sleep on the sofa," Rin said quietly.
The barest curve of Chinen's smile was visible before he turned away again. "I'll make breakfast."
Rolling to his back, Rin flung one arm over his eyes and kicked at the sheets until they slid from the bed and onto the floor. He was going to have to get a job or something; Chinen's tiny house was like a volcano.
"Hiroshi?" he called out. The refrigerator door opened and shut and Chinen hummed his response.
"Can we get a fan or something? It's a million degrees in here."
There was a brief moment of silence before he answered. "I'll see what I can do."
Frowning, Rin scratched his belly, shifting in the bed and sliding his feet up to bend his knees. The scratching slowed to a soft, absent stroking which then became a prelude to something else entirely. His cock twitched beneath the thin, worn shorts he wore and he glanced toward the empty doorway and rubbed himself with the flat of one hand. Despite their recently-revealed mutual feelings, Rin was beginning to wonder if Chinen was ever going to give him any. Every day, Rin awoke with a dick like a battering ram and every day, Chinen made breakfast. Last week, Chinen had asked Rin what he'd like for breakfast and while it had been on the tip of Rin's tongue to say 'how 'bout some sausage?' he'd chickened out at the last moment and asked for toast instead. Disgusted with himself, he'd locked himself in the bathroom, turned on the water and jerked his dick for five solid minutes before emerging to a plateful of hot, buttered toast and fresh fruit.
"Hiroshi?" he called again, fingers already slipping beneath the waistband of his shorts.
"Hm?" Chinen responded, clattering pans happily. "What do you need, Rin?"
Rin grew still, progress halted, dick hard and trapped inside his shorts. What did he need? He needed to get laid. He needed to rub his dick on something other than the palm of his own hand. He needed Chinen to roll him over and mount up, already. How fair was it that Tezuka Kunimitsu - ice bitch extraordinaire - was probably seeing more action that Rin was? How was it even in the realm of possibilities?
Well, no more, Rin decided. Enough was enough. He would take what was rightfully his no matter how humiliating it turned out to be. What place did shame have in his life when he was whacking off three and four times a day? None whatsoever.
He slid out of bed, grimacing when his shorts wedged firmly in the crack of his ass, and kicked the blankets out of his way. Into the kitchen he strode, purposeful and determined. That his shorts were tented comically was of no consequence to him. That he couldn't swagger as he would have liked due to the uncomfortable angle of his cock was of even less consequence. The look on Chinen's face as he crossed the floor was indication enough that he'd noticed Rin's state of discomfort and when Rin finally stood before him, Chinen's gaze dropped to the vicinity of Rin's shorts and stayed there.
"Rin...," he began, unable to offer much more. Staring up at him defiantly, Rin dropped to his knees.
"You really want to know what I need?" he asked, nosing against Chinen's belly when he jerked his shorts down to about mid-thigh.
Chinen nodded, wobbly and wide-eyed and as stiff as a board.
"This," Rin said, gripping the base of Chinen's cock and taking every single inch past his lips and down his throat. Chinen gasped. His knees buckled and he grabbed at the counter behind him with one hand while he fisted the other in Rin's sleep-tousled hair.
Rin hummed an acknowledgement, but didn't stop. Instead, he inched closer to squeeze Chinen's ass, moaning deep in his throat when his cock jerked to leak clear, thin fluid over his tongue. His breath hitched, he made a choking sound and the sound of his knuckles cracking when he gripped the edge of the counter hard was a warning that came just a split second too late. Rin pulled back, one eye closed and preparing to turn his head when Chinen lost all control of himself. Once, twice and third time was the charm when he shot his release over Rin's jaw and onto his neck. Clapping a hand over his mouth, the look in his eyes was all the apology he seemed able to offer.
Rin wiped his face with the back of his hand and laughed. Having made no effort to rise to his feet, he spread his knees wider and rubbed his dick with the flat of one hand. "Guess you needed that, too, ne?"
Finally, Chinen lowered his hand. His expression shifted, his eyes narrowed, and Rin began to think perhaps he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have. Slowly, he hitched his shorts back up, wincing when the stretched elastic brushed his cock. Without a word, he held out a hand to Rin.
"Are you mad?" Rin asked, hesitant when he gripped Chinen's hand. Silent still, Chinen tugged him to his feet, stepping close to shorten the distance between them. He didn't look mad, but neither did he look like a guy who'd just been given a pretty damned good blowjob - even if it hadn't lasted very long.
Poised to inform him precisely what an ungrateful bastard he was, Rin squeaked in surprise when Chinen bent to sweep him off of his feet. Over Chinen's shoulder and knowing he should at least make an attempt at reclaiming his dignity, Rin found that he could only laugh, instead. He smacked Chinen's ass, laughing harder when Chinen's grip on his thighs tightened.
When Chinen slammed the bedroom door behind them, Rin knew that it wasn't anger he was feeling. It made him feel pretty good, knowing that he hadn't lost his touch.
* * *
Okinawa wasn't what Tezuka had imagined. The land on which Kite's house was situated seemed forgotten - tucked away in some little natural corner while what passed for the metropolitan area spread farther and farther to cover the island from one side to the other. It was strange to see rocky dunes and stretches of beach only a few hundred yards away from hotels and restaurants and bus lines. Certain parts of the area put Tezuka in mind of a resort. Kite had laughed when he'd said so, just as he'd laughed when Tezuka had asked if the entire island were as isolated as some of the houses they'd passed.
It made him smile, to think of what his friends might say if they'd been present. "At least there's a Starbucks," Ryoma would say. Atobe would sniff and trifle with the cuffs of his shirt. "Starbucks is so 2004. And you don't even drink coffee."
"...ne, Tezuka?" Kite said, bending to peer closely at him.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, wondering if his expression gave away the direction of his thoughts. "I wasn't listening."
Kite shrugged, appearing unperturbed when he tucked his hands into his pockets. "I asked if you were having an all right time."
"Of course," he said. "I-"
Catching himself at the last moment, he offered Kite a stiff, awkward smile and looked out toward the scruffy dune just ahead. 'I'm with you', he'd almost said. Even now, he was hesitant when it came to being too free with his feelings. Kite never leaned too far one way or another - he was neither unnecessarily demonstrative nor too emotionally detached - and so his level of comfort was hard to truly determine. It was ridiculous, Tezuka knew, to be so hyper-aware of something that was supposed to come naturally, but he couldn't change who he was. Not at so quickly a rate, in any event.
Kite didn't push, though, and allowed Tezuka his silence as they walked along together. Sluggish and content after the lunch they'd shared downtown, Tezuka found that having Kite by his side while he retreated into the furthest recesses of his very analytical mind felt good.
There was so much to consider - remember - that Tezuka felt certain they could have walked for miles without his ever saying a single word. He thought about the way Kite had been last night: completely in charge of himself and his surroundings and yet so quick to offer Tezuka a submission that seemed almost out of character. His actions, his assurances indicated otherwise and Tezuka couldn't have said if his ease in reversal were pleasing or frightening. He thought about Kite's family and how easy they were with each other. There had been little formality to observe and while Kite hadn't gone out of his way to make sure everyone knew they were sleeping together, neither had his demeanor toward Tezuka cooled at all.
The way Kite had smiled at him that morning over breakfast, and the emotion that such an expression had roused in Tezuka was simply another indication of what they'd become. Just one emotion, at once simple and so complex that he barely knew his own mind, Tezuka could not deny what was. All that remained, to prove to himself that what they had was the real thing, was to tell Kite. And that scared the hell out of him.
"Do you like it, then?" Kite asked. "Here, I mean."
He stopped walking then, the both of them balanced atop the dune, staring out at the ocean in the distance. Tezuka glanced at him sideways, taking in the familiar, fine profile and the way he avoided looking at Tezuka until he'd received some hint that his scrutiny would be welcome. Tezuka understood what he was getting at. This was Kite's home, it was important to him, and he wanted Tezuka to find as much to love about it as he always had.
"I do," Tezuka answered, standing close to brush the back of his hand against Kite's. "It's not what I imagined. It was bright and busy in the city, but here..."
He paused for a moment, considering. "Here it's so peaceful and still."
"The lights go down, here. Everything sleeps," Kite said. He looked at Tezuka then, loosely twining their fingers. "Do you like it enough to come back again sometime?"
Catching his fingers in a tighter grip, Tezuka arched a brow. "With you?"
An almost smile; Tezuka had seen its shadow. But then he only continue to stare at Tezuka, head tilted. "Yes, with me."
Ducking his head, Tezuka toed at a few pebbles and shrugged lightly. He did not, however, release Kite's hand. "If you wanted me to."
Even as he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.
"What about what you want?" Kite asked. "I'm asking you if want to be with me. Long enough to make this trip again."
"Christmas will be here soon enough," Tezuka murmured. "It's not so far away-"
"Tezuka," Kite managed, jaw tight. He gripped Tezuka's shoulders, brought him closer than before. "You know what I'm trying to say. Stop pretending that you don't."
"If I come here again, people will know. It won't be difficult to figure out."
"So it won't," Kite agreed. "My question remains unchanged."
That feeling - the one he'd experienced the night before when Kite had pulled him close to wrap his arms snugly about him - was there again. Sharp and real and full. Why was it so hard to simply say it?
He nodded, kept on nodding, when he rested both hands on Kite's hips and leaned into him. Lips pressed to Kite's neck, Tezuka closed his eyes. The wind carried the scent of the sea, not as far away as Tezuka had imagined it would be. Kite was a warm, welcome solidity against him.
"Yes," he finally said. "I'll come back with you."
It wasn't a declaration - not by a long shot - but it was the best that Tezuka could do. He hoped that Kite would understand. When he nosed against Tezuka's cheek, lips warm when they brushed the corner of his mouth, it seemed that he did. With one hand firm at Tezuka's back and the other inching into the back of Tezuka's hair, Kite kissed him slowly. He tilted his head, breath warm when he coaxed Tezuka forward. He led him as he always seemed to lead him: sure and safe and masterful. To follow such a lead had only become second nature.
"Kunimitsu," he murmured against Tezuka's lips, hugging him tight when he pressed his mouth to Tezuka's. This time, for the first time, Tezuka sensed that Kite held something back - some part of himself that was uncertain. Fingers tightening at Kite's hips, Tezuka took the next kiss, unwilling to wait until Kite offered it to him. Like the night before, Kite relinquished control easily and Tezuka leaned in closer, taking over, crushing Kite's lips beneath his own. There was no power struggle between them when it came to this sort of intimacy. Somehow, Tezuka needed to acknowledge it with something more monumental than a simple kiss.
Kite's mobile vibrated then, and Tezuka stepped back a little, breathless and out of sorts but needing the sudden space between them. Reality had intruded; the spell had been broken. The moment was lost.
Kite cursed under his breath and slipped his phone out of his pocket. "This better be good," he warned.
Tezuka turned away, both arms wrapped around himself as he watched the sun begin to sink below the horizon.
"Oh, right," Kite was saying. "Sure, we can just meet you there."
After a few moments, Kite tucked his phone back into his pocket and held out a hand to Tezuka. "Ready?"
It would be dark soon. Tezuka took Kite's hand and squeezed gently, as though nothing had passed between them. "Where are we going?"
"Chinen's," Kite said, guiding Tezuka away from the hill, following his example. "You don't mind?"
Tezuka fell silent, remembering Fuji's party with no small amount of embarrassment. "No," he finally said, Kite's fingers wedged firmly between his own. "I don't mind."
* * *
It had been, Tezuka surmised, roughly two hours since they'd arrived at Chinen's house. Contrary to his expectations, no one was drunk, no fistfights had broken out and Rin had been pleasant to him throughout.
They'd played Mahjong, had tea and ramen, and had talked about their recent goings-on. Tezuka did not miss, however, that no one seemed interested in discussing the future. Chinen and Rin seemed closer than friends, but did not let on as to the nature of their relationship. Kite seemed disinterested, but Tezuka suspected that he was more than a little curious. It was one of his best tactics when it came to gathering sensitive information: feigning disinterest.
Tanishi had made an appearance, but had left right after the first hand they'd played or he'd have risked being late for work. Kai called soon after, promising to make an appearance before Kite turned into a pumpkin.
Presently, Tezuka sat next to Kite on Chinen's tiny sofa and shifted uncomfortably. Having spent the day sightseeing with Kite with little surcease, he'd begun to grow tired. He muffled a yawn and leaned forward to pour himself more tea. Chinen made rather wonderful tea.
"Tired?" Kite asked, rubbing the side of Tezuka's leg absently. "We can go if you like."
His solicitous touch had not gone unnoticed by Rin, who looked pointedly away. Offering Kite a small smile, Tezuka shook his head and sipped from his cup.
"I'm fine. I know you want to see Kai."
Rin snorted, adding more sugar to his tea and resting one elbow on the small card table. "I wouldn't hang around just for him, Eishirou. He's busy these days, if you know what I mean."
Stepping over Rin to join them at the table again, Chinen took his place beside him and began to box up the game. "He's got a new girl," he supplied helpfully.
Kite laughed. "Again? How many does that make this year? Ten? Fifteen?"
Chinen shrugged. "He seems serious about this one. He doesn't talk about her much and gets mad when we tease him about it."
"So what's she like?" Kite asked.
"No idea," Rin answered, slurping his tea when he got to the bottom of the cup. "We've never met her."
"Interesting," Kite finally said. "Perhaps we'll all be sitting here next year, about to attend a wedding."
"If he doesn't knock her up before then," Rin muttered.
Chinen smiled a little and tugged a strand of Rin's hair. "That's not so bad, is it? We'd be uncles or something."
Rin snorted. "I'm not old enough for that, thank you very much."
Chinen laughed then, and reached over Rin to stack cups and small plates. "Looks like we're calling it a night, then."
Tezuka stood to gather a stack of cups. "I'll help you," he offered, earning one of Chinen's rare smiles.
Rin dug into his pocket, rolling to all fours and climbing to his feet. "I need a cigarette."
"I thought you quit," Kite and Chinen spoke up in unison, glancing balefully at one another after.
"Who are you, my mother?" he said, heading toward the bedroom where he kept his personal effects.
Chinen shook his head, but couldn't conceal his indulgent expression when he snuck a glance at Rin's retreating figure. Kite followed, hands in his pockets and whistling to himself.
Tezuka rinsed dishes and set them in Chinen's sink. He didn't look up. "Thank you for inviting us," he said.
"No problem," Chinen said, tidying the counters while Tezuka worked. "I'm glad we got a chance to meet you."
"I'm not sure Hirakoba feels similarly."
Chinen shrugged, pulling a dented stool up to the counter. "Don't take it personally."
"Isn't it personal?" Tezuka asked.
Smiling, but finding no real humor in the situation, he draped himself over the stool to lean on the counter. Tezuka couldn't remember the last time he'd been close to someone so tall.
"Sure, it's personal between him and Kite. But not between him and you. Get it?"
Tezuka shook his head. "He doesn't like me at all."
"He's just hurt, that's all. It's hard to watch someone else steal away the one you love."
Something in his words, in the tone of his voice, stilled Tezuka's hands and he looked up, seeing something in Chinen that he hadn't seen before. "Most people wouldn't be so forgiving," he ventured.
"Yeah, well," Chinen began. "Most people don't know what it's like to love someone as much I do."
Tezuka was silent, pensive. He looked down at his hands, resting on the sink's edge, and thought of Kite - walking at his side, protecting him in the most unspoken, important ways, caring for him to an extent that no one else seemed willing. It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he did. He knew what it was like to love someone that much. But he couldn't give those words to Chinen - not when he hadn't given them to Kite.
He looked up, his mind clear now when it hadn't been before, and Chinen merely smiled at him. "Excuse me," he began. "I think the cat's still outside. I need to find her."
He flipped on an outside light and closed the door behind him. Tezuka turned toward the bedroom, wanting to get Kite alone, wanting to take him away someplace where no one would overhear the things he wanted to say - needed to say.
It was quiet at the back of the small house and there were no lights on to lead the way. He felt along the wall, footsteps light, until he saw him. Saw them. Before the window, nothing more than two silhouettes that seemed to merge one into the other, were Kite and Rin.
With his arms around Rin, Kite could rest his chin atop Rin's head to hold him close. Rin clung - even in the darkness Tezuka could see just how tightly he clung - and he took a deep, shaky breath. "It doesn't matter," he said, voice quiet. "I love you, Eishirou."
Tezuka froze, rooted just where he stood. He felt as though his heart would stop.
"Yeah," Kite said, pressing a kiss to the top of Rin's head. "Me too." And then, as though once hadn't been enough, he said it again. "Me too."
Turning away, making his way blindly down the hallway, Tezuka crossed the room and slipped outside soundlessly. He had no car, no real grasp of where he was going and absolutely no intention of returning to Kite's house to retrieve his belongings. Tezuka knew that he had to leave now. Had to get out of there before he completely fell apart. He could do that on the plane. Alone.
* * *
Rin pulled away first, ready at last, and shoved playfully at Kite's chest. "Asshole. Stop trying to take advantage of me in the dark."
Kite snorted, feeling along the wall for the light switch. "You probably unscrewed all the light bulbs yourself."
"You wish," Rin returned, bending to rifle through Chinen's discarded jeans for his missing cigarettes. "Score, found 'em."
"Where were they?" Kite asked.
"In Hiroshi's pocket. He must've been hiding them from me. Control freak."
"Hey, Rin," Kite called, halting Rin just in the doorway. "This is good, right? You and me?"
Rin smiled, though Kite couldn't see it. "Dummy. We'll always be together. All of us. Remember? One for all and all for one?"
Kite laughed, remembering their childish passion and determination. "I don't remember ever saying that."
Rin laughed, too. "Maybe not, but you meant it."
Kite couldn't argue with that. Whether they ever spoke of it or not, they were brothers. They always would be. Finally feeling as though everything were settled, Kite followed Rin back into the kitchen.
"Where'd they go?" Rin asked, looking around. "You don't think they ran off together, do you?"
Kite laughed. "Highly unlikely."
"Yeah, tell me about it. No way would he run out on me after this morning," Rin muttered around his cigarette. He lit it, tossing the matches on the table and winking at Kite. "I'm not that easy to forget."
"Maybe they went outside," Kite said, opening the door to peer outside. After a moment, Chinen appeared with a mangy cat. Kite took a step back. "That thing get run over or something?"
"What?" Chinen asked, rubbing the top of the cat's head with his chin. "She's fine. She was napping on the hood of the car."
Cat forgotten, Kite glanced around again. "Where's Tezuka?"
Chinen shook his head in confusion. "He was just inside. He was in the kitchen when I went outside to get the cat."
"Maybe he's in the bathroom," Rin suggested, but Kite was quick to shake his head.
"No, I'd have heard him..."
He trailed off there, paling. "Oh fuck."
"What?" Chinen asked, catching the look that passed between Rin and Kite. "What are you talking about?"
"You think he saw us?" Rin asked nervously.
But Kite was already gone, searching the other two rooms of the tiny house, swearing when Tezuka wasn't there. "Fuck!" he yelled, slamming Chinen's bedroom door before taking out his phone. "He can't have just left."
Rin would have begged to differ, but he wasn't stupid enough to say so when Kite looked as murderous as he did. "This is so not cool," he murmured, dropping ash on the floor.
"Hey, watch it!" Chinen said, elbowing Rin when he bent to set the cat down. "What did he see? What were you talking about?"
Rin moved casually toward the sink to run water over his cigarette. "Kite and I were...y'know. Saying goodbye."
Chinen blinked. "Saying goodbye?"
Shrugging, Rin crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, you know. We hugged. No big deal."
Eyes narrowed, Chinen clearly suspected that there was more that Rin wasn't saying, but he didn't seem to want to press the issue. Not now, in any event.
"His phone's off. Damn it," Kite hissed, raking a hand through his hair. "That little idiot." He began to pace.
Rin began to fidget; he hated when Kite paced aimlessly. It made him antsy.
"I didn't hear him leave," Chinen said. "If he left, he was careful not to let me hear him."
"Maybe he went back to your house, Kite?" Rin asked, but Kite shook his head.
"He wouldn't. If he saw me with Rin, he'd want to get as far away from me as he could."
"But we weren't doing anything!" Rin objected.
Kite rubbed his temples, sighed heavily. "You don't know him, Rin. He's probably been waiting for me to disappoint him."
"That's ridiculous."
"Is it?" Kite asked. "When you're afraid to trust someone, it's not so ridiculous to tell yourself that they're going to let you down."
"So it doesn't hurt so much when they do," Chinen said, avoiding Rin's gaze.
Covering his face with one hand, Kite sighed, shoulders slumped. "Damn it, Kunimitsu," he murmured.
"Well, we're not going to find him sitting here on our asses," Rin spoke up, squeezing Chinen's shoulder when he passed. He paused at the door, slipping on his ratty sneakers. "Don't forget, we've got an edge on him."
Kite looked up. "We do?"
"Duh," Rin answered, tossing Chinen the keys to his car. "We've got Christine."
"Christine," Kite repeated tonelessly.
"My car," Chinen clarified sheepishly.
Heartened somewhat, Kite nodded, moving to put on his own shoes. "Good point. He's got to make it to the bus station first, right?"
"Right," Rin agreed. "You want to call your mom, just in case?"
"No way," Kite was quick to refuse. "She'd be asking all kinds of questions and my dad's home by now and then he'd get in on it..."
Rin made a face. "That would be awkward."
"So let's just go. We're wasting time."
* * *
Hana laughed, looking around quickly to see who might be looking. Truthfully, though, she couldn't have cared less. The boy in her arms made reality seem so far away.
"Watch it," she warned, even as she tightened her arms around him. He nuzzled her neck, tickling her and nibbling her earlobe and she twisted in his arms to avoid further tickling, knocking off his hat in the process. He scowled, bending to pick up his favorite red trucker hat.
"You almost took an eye out, Hana-chan," he accused, already reaching for her again. "Be gentle with me; I'm fragile."
She laughed, keeping him at arm's length while she pushed her glasses up along the bridge of her nose. "Sure you are, Kai-kun. A delicate little flower."
He stared at her - so pitiful with that dejected expression - and she couldn't help relenting. She took his hand, bringing him close, and hugged him carefully.
"Hana-chan?"
"Hm?" she answered, wrapping both arms around his neck. She didn't need to stand on her tiptoes to reach his lips and that never failed to please her.
"Could you not call me 'Kai-kun'?" He shuddered, but relaxed when she cozied to him.
"What would you like me to call you, then?"
"How about Yuu-chan?" he offered hopefully, eyes shining under the brim of his hat.
Hana touched his face, smiled sweetly at him. "I think I like that," she murmured, voice lowering the way he'd never heard another girl's voice manage. "Yuuuu-chan," she teased, tilting her head to seek another kiss.
"I like you," Kai said, heartbeat picking up when her lips touched his. His eyes slid closed and he tried to think about something other than getting Kite Hana into his bed but - as per usual - failing miserably. She was so strong, so sweet, so beautiful - so perfect - that he could scarcely believe his luck. The luck that would end if, or rather when, Kite found out that Kai had been macking on his baby sister. He already had the feeling that Hana's mother wasn't thrilled about the whole thing.
After a moment, when it became obvious that Hana was no longer participating in the kiss, Kai pulled away, turning to see just what it was that had so effectively garnered her attention. "What are you looking at?" He demanded, gaze immediately zeroing in on the tall megane who'd just stepped off the bus and onto the sidewalk. He looked familiar.
"See that guy?" Hana asked, pointing at the guy Kai had noticed.
"Yeah, so?"
"You don't recognize him?"
Kai frowned. "Should I?"
"That's Eishirou's boyfriend," she told him. "They're staying with us."
"What?! I didn't know Kite was..."
"Gay?" She interrupted. "Really, you didn't know?"
"No," Kai scowled. "I mean, I knew that he and Rin were over, but I didn't know he was serious about someone else."
"Oh, yes," Hana told him knowledgably. "He's serious, all right. I was surprised, myself."
"Well, where's Kite, then?" Kai asked, tensing almost as soon as the words left his lips. "Oh, shit. He's going to see us, Hana-chan! He's going to see us together and he's gonna kick my ass right here in the street. We gotta go."
Rolling her eyes, Hana reached into Kai's back pocket and took out his cell. "Stop being such a baby. Call Chinen and snoop for some info."
"Fine," he muttered, already punching in Chinen's number. "But you're going to miss me when I'm gone," he warned.
"I'll remember you fondly, Yuu-chan," she promised, taking his hand and tucking it into her back pocket. He stared at her, eyes-wide and tongue-tied, and she laughed. It creeped Kai out sometimes, how much she reminded him of her brother, but it was too late to go back. Men didn't walk away from women like her.
"Kai?" Chinen said, having been met with silence when he'd answered the call. "Are you there?"
"Oh, sorry man," Kai said quickly. "I was distracted."
"It's fine," Chinen assured him. "What's up? We gave up on you earlier."
Laughing nervously, Kai allowed Hana to tug him across the street - closer to Tezuka, though she kept a careful distance. "Yeah, sorry about that. I got busy."
"Okay," Chinen said slowly. "So what's up?"
"Oh, right, I called you. I was just wondering if Kite was with you."
"Yeah, he's here. Why?"
"Well, ummm," Kai hedged. "I guess I was just wondering if he was alone."
"What? Are you high?" Chinen demanded.
There was a thump, and then rustling and then Rin. "Yuujiroh?"
"Rin?"
"Yeah, sorry. Hiroshi dropped the phone. What's going on?"
"Oh," Kai began again - he was such a terrible liar. "Nothin' much, I guess."
"Okay, that's enough," Hana said, reaching over to pluck the phone out of Kai's hand. "Rin-kun? Is my brother with you?"
"Hana-chan?" Rin screeched - Kai could hear him.
"Yes, may I speak with my brother, please?"
There was a moment of silence, during which Hana shot Kai a withering glance. Kai hunched his shoulders. "I'm sorry!" he hissed. "I panicked!"
"Nii-chan," she said. "What did you do to Tezuka to make him want to wander the streets all alone, hm?"
Kai watched, tugging his hat further down when he heard Kite raise his voice. Hana simply held the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes.
"Well, whatever. Do you want me to talk to him?" She sighed, nodding along as Kite barked instructions into the phone. "Fine, fine. Yes, I hear you. Yes, Mom knows I'm out. No, I'm not alone."
There was another extended silence and Hana glanced nervously at Kai. "Uh, we can talk about that later. Yes, you'll probably be mad. No, I really don't care. Fine. I said fine. I'll call you back."
"What did he say?" Kai demanded, remembering the captain of the Judo club and what had happened to him when he'd tried to peek under Hana's skirt at the bus stop when they were kids.
"He wants us to follow him," she said, dragging Kai to the crosswalk and tucking his phone into her purse.
"No, about us! What did he say about us?"
"Uh," she began, looking in both directions before hurrying across the street with Kai in tow. "We can talk about that later..."
* * *
It was interesting, Tezuka thought, how disillusionment could be so painful. When it had been Atobe to let him down, he hadn't quite so blindsided as he'd been when Kite had done it. Perhaps he'd been expecting it from Atobe. Perhaps the weeks leading up to the end of their relationship had helped Tezuka prepare for the inevitable - to protect himself, in some way. With Atobe, there'd been a detached sort of resolve. It had hurt, but not like this.
Tracing the buttons on his cell phone, Tezuka considered calling Oishi. Who else would commiserate to quite the same extent? Who else felt another person's pain as acutely as Oishi? No one. And that was why he didn't call that familiar number. Oishi would pave the way to a total emotional breakdown, leading Tezuka every step of the way while they took turns analyzing their every failed relationship. As much as he appreciated Oishi's friendship, he wasn't much help in an emotional crisis. Not when Tezuka needed so badly to separate himself from his emotions.
The call he made was the only sensible choice, for there was only one person in the world who possessed the ability to save Tezuka from himself.
Ryoma picked up on the first ring.
"It's me," was all that Tezuka said.
"So I noticed," Ryoma returned. "It's getting late, Buchou."
"Am I disturbing you?" Tezuka asked, wry and testy because Ryoma would welcome it.
"No, we stay up pretty late, you know. Sometimes it's dawn before I can get Keigo to settle down."
Tezuka smiled, catching the disgruntled rumble of Atobe's voice in the background. "What did he say?"
"He said I could fuck off home by myself and he'd worry about what time he retired."
Tezuka laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep the tears at bay. If they started, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop.
"I don't know why I'm calling," Tezuka said.
"Who says you need a reason?" Ryoma asked. His voice was muffled for a moment, as he rattled off a street address, presumably to Atobe's driver.
"You and Atobe are going out?" he asked.
"We've been out. One more appearance and we'll drag it home. It's been a long night."
"You hate social obligations," Tezuka reminded him.
"Yeah," Ryoma agreed. "But I like showing him off, you know? He dresses up so nice."
Ryoma yelped, his laughter muffled for a moment before he returned to Tezuka. "Bastard hit me. So where are you, Buchou? Lounging on the beach?"
Silent for a moment, Tezuka glanced around the near-empty terminal. His flight wouldn't board for almost three more hours - he hadn't yet gone through security. "I'm at the airport."
"Oh. You and killer heading back?"
"No," Tezuka said. "Just me."
"Did something happen?" Ryoma asked, the faint music in the background lowering further.
"Yeah," Tezuka said. "I'm not sure I want to talk about it now."
"That's fine," Ryoma said. "Are you sure leaving's the right thing to do?"
"Yes," Tezuka was quick to answer. "I don't think I belong here."
"Buchou," Ryoma began. "It's just a place. You belong where you want to belong."
Tezuka smiled. "With Kite. I don't think I belong with Kite."
"At least he's got that much sense," Atobe muttered, and Tezuka sat up straight, indignant.
"Do you have me on speaker?" Tezuka demanded.
Ryoma was quick to deny. "Of course not. He's just nosy."
There were muffled voices and scuffling sounds before Ryoma spoke again. "There, I moved as far away from him as I can. Go ahead."
"There's not much to say," Tezuka told him. "I just..." He trailed off, rubbing his chest absently. The ache simply wouldn't go away. "Things aren't what I convinced myself they were. I made an error in judgment."
"You sound pretty sure of that," Ryoma said. "It must have been bad, huh? What happened."
"Bad enough," Tezuka said. "So that's that. I'm on my way home; I just wanted someone to know where I was."
"You don't think he'll chase after you? He doesn't strike me as the type to give up without a fight." He paused a moment, covering the phone with his hand. "Oh, let it go, Keigo."
Tezuka sighed. "He won't come after me. He'll know there's no point." After a moment, he continued. "Anyway, I should go now. I'll call you soon."
"Okay," Ryoma said. "Call me if you need me."
"I will," Tezuka promised.
"Buchou?" Ryoma asked, voice gone very quiet. "Running away's not always the answer. People make bad calls sometimes, you know? Even you."
Reaching up, Tezuka lay the back of his hand against the glass window behind him. "That much is evident."
He ended the call without saying goodbye - Ryoma hated saying goodbye - and huddled into the small, plastic seat. He folded his hands in his lap and glanced around uncomfortably; he didn't even have a bag to hide behind.
That image - one he was certain would be a long time in forgetting - of Kite and Rin rose again in his mind and he sighed, exasperated with himself. He had to stop thinking about it. He had to keep his mind on something else. Something that didn't make him feel dead on the inside. Hollow. Empty. Stupid.
There was no way he'd jumped to the wrong conclusion - the scene he'd stumbled upon didn't hinge so much on interpretation. That certainty was reason enough for Kite not to follow him. What could he say? What explanation could he offer that might make his actions acceptable? None, Tezuka decided. There was nothing he could say.
With his elbows on his knees, Tezuka leaned forward, cradling his head with the tips of his fingers. Never again would he let someone that close to his heart. Not as long as he lived. Not as long as he-
"Tezuka."
He looked up, startled. There was no mistaking that voice, however, no matter that his vision was just this side of blurry. Embarrassed, he ducked his head, wiping his eyes when he adjusted his glasses.
"How did you find me?" he asked, voice low and cold.
"Don't worry about how I found you. Why did you leave?" Kite demanded. As angry as Tezuka was hurt, Kite was looking for a fight. Standing stiffly - back straight and pride intact - Tezuka decided that he was happy to give him one.
"I didn't see the point in staying," Tezuka told him, hands balled into fists at his side. "You were already so thoroughly occupied."
Bowing his head, Kite rubbed his face with both hands. When he looked up, his face was flushed, his glasses crooked. "You are unbelievable, do you know that? What kind of idiot takes off into the darkness without a single clue where he's going? Over nothing!"
Stepping closer, Tezuka drew himself to his full height - Kite didn't have more than inch on him, anyway - and hissed, "I wouldn't call what you were doing nothing. And I made it here fine on my own. Which is how I'll be leaving."
"Kunimitsu," Kite began.
"Tezuka," Tezuka corrected.
"There's nothing between Rin and I," he said.
Tezuka made a disgusted sound, turned his head away.
"I swear it," Kite went on. "We-" he hesitated, voice lowering considerably. "Do we have to do this here?"
"We don't have to do it at all," Tezuka said. "In two and a half hours, I'm getting on that plane."
"Fine," Kite said, voice rising again. "Get on the goddamned plane, but I'm coming with you. We can fucking well fight all the way to Fukuoka if that's how you want it."
"What I want, Kite," Tezuka said, jaw tight. "Is for you to leave me alone. I have nothing else to say to you."
"No?" Kite asked. "Well, I have something to say to you."
"I don't want to hear it," Tezuka said, turning away. He had the ticket, Kite didn't. He'd just go through security and wait for his flight to board where he knew Kite would not follow.
"I love you," Kite said. He didn't lower his voice, didn't whisper. Tezuka closed his eyes, willing himself forward. He couldn't afford to hesitate - not even for this. With the first step Tezuka took in the opposite direction, Kite called out to him again.
"Tezuka, did you hear me? I'm sorry for what you saw, but you're wrong about this."
Throat tightening, Tezuka took a deep breath. Despite his best intentions, despite the certainty that walking away was the smartest thing he could do, he found that he simply couldn't move another inch.
"Rin's been my friend for years - I care about him - but you're the one I love."
When Tezuka did not turn around, Kite's voice wavered, only for a moment. "Tezuka. Please."
After a moment, Tezuka half-turned to look over his shoulder. Kite didn't appear so angry any longer. It was then that Tezuka noticed the small group of people huddled near an oversized advertisement. Chinen, Rin, Kite's sister and Kai - watching intently and trying to be inconspicuous in the doing of it. They were listening, though, of that much Tezuka was certain.
He looked at Kite, the hurt he'd wanted so badly to hide surfacing at last. "Eishirou, I saw you. I saw you holding each other."
"You saw me hugging my friend. As you hugged Atobe."
Tezuka looked away again, embarrassed.
"Tezuka," Kite said. "You saw us saying goodbye."
He took a step closer, And then another. That Tezuka did not seek to evade him seemed to lend him the confidence he needed to take the remaining few steps between them. His touch, when it came, was light, hesitant - nothing more than his fingertips trailing up along Tezuka's arm.
"I love you," he said again. "I won't let you go."
Just Kite's hand on Tezuka's shoulder - holding him, turning him - was enough to weaken his resolve.
"You love me, too," Kite murmured, getting both arms around Tezuka's shoulders to pull him close. Tezuka hesitated - going slowly - but going all the same. "I wouldn't hurt you; why are you always so quick to think the worst of me?"
Arms still at his sides, Tezuka allowed Kite to hold him despite the audience he knew such a spectacle might draw. Immobile with indecision, but unable to push Kite away, Tezuka pressed his face to Kite's neck merely to breathe him in. Could he walk away, after being this close? Could he throw away the words that Kite had found the courage to offer when he couldn't find that same courage within himself? Was he willing to trust blindly, when he'd never been able to do so before?
"Kunimitsu," Kite murmured, voice soft, breath warm against Tezuka's ear. "Tell me you love me, too. Just this once."
Closing his eyes, Tezuka pressed the palms of his hands tight to Kite's back. His skin was damp beneath the thin t-shirt he wore; it occurred to Tezuka that Kite had probably run the length of the airport to find him.
"Trust me," Kite said, arms tightening around him when Tezuka didn't seek to free himself. "I'll say it as loud as you want, as many times as I have to until you believe me. But I'm not letting you go."
"Eishirou," he murmured, clinging as Rin had clung hours before. It was overwhelming to Tezuka, to know that Kite wanted him this much, wanted to belong to him this much. "I thought..."
Kite was silent, seemingly content to hold Tezuka against him.
"I love you," Kite said again, as though there were no need to work through recriminations or misunderstandings. As though there was only one thing that mattered to him.
"I love you, too," Tezuka finally whispered, the words escaping him in a near-silent rush of breath. He was quiet after, not at all certain that he could utter another word. Still, he held fast to Kite, who nuzzled the curve of his ear, his temple.
"Stay with me," Kite murmured, and it wasn't a question. The heat between them, Tezuka's arms around him, were answer enough.
* * *
Ryoma's phone, nestled in the pocket of his sport jacket, vibrated again. Atobe looked over, one brow arched in question.
Frowning, Ryoma turned away from the other people seated at the table and opened his inbox.
From: Tezuka K.
Time: 21:42:15
Subject: -__-
Never mind.
Snickering to himself, Ryoma slid his phone closed and snuck a look at Atobe, who gazed at him impassively. Ryoma shifted in his chair, leaning to squeeze Atobe's knee beneath the table where no one else could see. At Atobe's immediate expression of distaste, Ryoma grinned. And he blew him a kiss.
~ end ~
Pairing: Kite/Tezuka - future timeline
Rating: R
Summary: Kite tries to accustom himself to an empty bed after Rin has packed up and gone. A chance meeting with an old rival helps to ease the separation anxiety.
a/n ~ the end :)
one + two + three + four + five + six + seven + eight + nine + ten + eleven + twelve + thirteen + fourteen + fifteen + sixteen + seventeen + eighteen
letting the cables sleep
chapter nineteen
The room looked different in the bright light of day. Smaller. Strangely enough, it reminded Tezuka of his own room - spare, succinct, austere. Kite's room, however, possessed the quirky little things that made it personal where Tezuka's did not. Brightly colored origami birds strung together to hang in the corner, a purple rug on the floor, the stack of magazines lined neatly along a tiny bookshelf, sandwiched between classic literature and what looked like pulp fiction. There were potted plants along the windowsill with tiny plastic pandas on either side. A poster of an American comic book hero that Tezuka recognized but could not name.
When he moved to rise from the bed, pajamas twisted uncomfortably, he glanced around for his bag. Relieved to find it against the wall with Kite's, he was quick to rummage through it for a t-shirt and pair of shorts. It occurred to him that he would need to do laundry soon as he'd only packed enough clothes to visit Oishi and attend Yumiko-san's engagement party. He smiled to notice the full-length mirror on the back of Kite's closet door; it was often easy to forget how vain he could be.
Walking slowly in the hallway, he listened for the sound of Kite's voice, heard him speaking to his mother and tried to quell the butterflies that took flight in his belly. He was nervous and couldn't pretend otherwise. So afraid that Kite's family would not accept him - accept them. Where would such an occurrence leave their relationship? Did Kite value him enough to choose him, should it come to that?
A bird's manic squawking startled him then, the sound he made just loud enough to bring Kite into the hallway after him.
"I didn't know you were up," he said, expression neutral when he swept Tezuka with a cursory glance.
Folding his arms over his chest, Tezuka mumbled, "I didn't intend to lie in bed all morning." The accusation was there in his voice, that Kite should have awakened him in order to save him the embarrassment of stumbling to the breakfast table with tousled hair and sleepy eyes. That Kite recognized it was evident in the smile he offered Tezuka.
"I forgot what a grouch you were in the morning," he said, reaching for Tezuka's hand, but not insisting when Tezuka did not allow it. "Did Mika wake you?"
Following him into the small kitchen, Tezuka half-bowed to Kite's mother on his way past the table, surprised and distracted to notice the pretty young woman busy sketching at the table. She was tall, willowy with bobbed hair and glasses. Her demeanor wasn't half so severe as the expression on her face and when she glanced up, tucking her hair behind one ear to smile at Tezuka - she looked so much like Kite that Tezuka felt the tips of his ears warm.
"Tezuka-kun," she said, voice low and confident and almost flirty enough to make Tezuka blush. "Welcome."
Lips pursed, Kite's mother wiped her hands on a towel and moved to set bowls of broth on the table. "Move those crayons off the table and eat, young lady." But then she smiled warmly at Tezuka, fingertips light at his elbow when she gestured to the table. "Please, be comfortable, Tezuka-kun."
"Ah, thank you," he said, bowing again before taking a seat next to Kite's sister. "You must be Mika."
"No," she said, rolling her eyes. "That would be the bird."
At Tezuka's wide-eyed expression, she laughed and swept the markers and sketchbook off the table. "I'm Hana."
The bird squawked again, wings flapping in excitement or vexation - Tezuka wasn't sure. Mostly red, with splashes of yellow, blue and green, it quieted easily enough when Kite leaned in close.
"Shhh, pretty thing," he murmured. "Don't fret." The kissing and humming noises that followed caused Tezuka to shift uncomfortably in his seat, though Kite seemed to feel no humiliation for baby-talking to a bird in clear earshot of the rest of them. "Be a good girl and daddy will give you some yummy mango, hm?"
"You're making me sick," Hana said, narrowing her eyes at Kite and sliding a bowl close to her. "You and that bird."
Kite straightened then, all dignity when he took his place at Tezuka's side. "Hm," he sniffed, stirring the onion in his soup. "Jealous that she loves me and not you?"
"Of course I am," she agreed amiably. "That's why I tried to stuff her in my EZ Bake Oven once."
Kite frowned. "I thought we agreed never to talk about that."
"Why don't you take her home with you, Eishi-nii? She pines for you, do you know?"
"I can't," Kite responded. "I'm not home often and she would be lonely."
"The solution would be to visit more often," Kite's mother said. "Ne, Eishirou?"
"Yes, Mother," he answered dutifully, nudging Tezuka's foot with his own.
Tezuka glanced at him quickly, covertly, and Kite offered him a secret sort of smile before turning his attention to his breakfast.
"It's a surprise to have you as our guest, Tezuka-kun," Kite-san went on. "When I last spoke to Kite, I was under the impression he'd be coming alone."
"I've inconvenienced you," he began awkwardly. "I'm very sorry."
"Of course you haven't," she was quick to assure him, replacing the pickled radish he'd already eaten. "Ei-chan was so sad when we spoke that I was certain he'd be coming home for a nice, long vacation, that's all."
"Mother," Kite warned, staring at her from over the lenses of his glasses.
"Fine, fine," she relented, spooning natto onto her rice. "I'm just glad to have you. Both of you," she emphasized.
"Where's the old man?" Hana asked, having already made short work of her soup and moving on to the rolled omelet.
"Where else?" Kite-san answered. "I expect he'll show up right before dinner, empty handed and full of fish stories." She looked at Kite then. "You and Tezuka-kun will be here for dinner, won't you, Eishirou?"
Kite shrugged, considering. "Not sure. Tezuka and I have to leave day after tomorrow and I wanted to see the guys before then."
Hana and Kite-san exchanged a look and the conversation died.
"What?" Kite demanded, glancing between the two of them. "What was that for?"
"Nothing," they said in unison, sharing another guilty look.
"You're up to something," Kite said. "What's going on?"
Kite-san rose then, breakfast effectively dismantled. "Suspicious," she admonished. "It's nothing. I hope you boys have a good time."
"No drinking and carrying on in public," Hana said, smiling sweetly.
"I'll see what I can do," Kite deadpanned. "Tezuka likes to party."
Hana snorted. Tezuka kicked Kite's foot under the table.
But then Kite was smiling at him - focused and attentive even with his mother and sister present. There was no mistaking the regard in which he held Tezuka. "Right, Kuni-chan?" he murmured softly.
Tezuka blushed, ducking his head to sip unobtrusively at his soup. But still he nodded, however slightly. "Aa."
* * *
Rin's dilemma, that particular morning, came in the form of a most unwelcome set of choices. Chinen had no air-conditioning; it was stifling hot. He had no curtains; it was ridiculously bright outside. Beneath the sheets, Rin sweated freely and Chinen was a seven-foot-tall furnace in the bed beside him. If he pressed closer, he could keep the sunlight at bay at least until he was ready to admit defeat and tumble out of bed. Of course, if he did so, he'd become so miserably hot that faking sleep would no longer be an option. If he kicked the blankets off and shoved Chinen away, he'd be cooler, but then the light would disturb the cocoon of sleep he'd so carefully constructed during the night. Flopping onto his belly and groaning into his pillow, he cursed the hateful sun and the blazing heat that accompanied it.
"We should get up anyway," Chinen murmured, already awake and scrunched into the six or seven inches of space Rin afforded him.
"You're hot," was all that Rin would say, lips pressed into the pillow to muffle his voice.
"Thank you," Chinen returned politely, swinging long legs over the side of the bed and pushing himself upright. He rubbed the back of his head, mattress creaking beneath him.
Slapping blindly at him, Rin groaned again, on the verge of a mini-tantrum. "Not that kind of hot, idiot. And stop shaking the bed."
Chinen grunted, vertebra popping when he stood to stretch. "I'll sleep on the sofa," he said. His bare feet slapped the floor, signifying his departure, and Rin lifted his head from the pillow.
"Hiroshi."
Pausing in the doorway, Chinen turned his head in profile. He didn't look at Rin.
"Don't sleep on the sofa," Rin said quietly.
The barest curve of Chinen's smile was visible before he turned away again. "I'll make breakfast."
Rolling to his back, Rin flung one arm over his eyes and kicked at the sheets until they slid from the bed and onto the floor. He was going to have to get a job or something; Chinen's tiny house was like a volcano.
"Hiroshi?" he called out. The refrigerator door opened and shut and Chinen hummed his response.
"Can we get a fan or something? It's a million degrees in here."
There was a brief moment of silence before he answered. "I'll see what I can do."
Frowning, Rin scratched his belly, shifting in the bed and sliding his feet up to bend his knees. The scratching slowed to a soft, absent stroking which then became a prelude to something else entirely. His cock twitched beneath the thin, worn shorts he wore and he glanced toward the empty doorway and rubbed himself with the flat of one hand. Despite their recently-revealed mutual feelings, Rin was beginning to wonder if Chinen was ever going to give him any. Every day, Rin awoke with a dick like a battering ram and every day, Chinen made breakfast. Last week, Chinen had asked Rin what he'd like for breakfast and while it had been on the tip of Rin's tongue to say 'how 'bout some sausage?' he'd chickened out at the last moment and asked for toast instead. Disgusted with himself, he'd locked himself in the bathroom, turned on the water and jerked his dick for five solid minutes before emerging to a plateful of hot, buttered toast and fresh fruit.
"Hiroshi?" he called again, fingers already slipping beneath the waistband of his shorts.
"Hm?" Chinen responded, clattering pans happily. "What do you need, Rin?"
Rin grew still, progress halted, dick hard and trapped inside his shorts. What did he need? He needed to get laid. He needed to rub his dick on something other than the palm of his own hand. He needed Chinen to roll him over and mount up, already. How fair was it that Tezuka Kunimitsu - ice bitch extraordinaire - was probably seeing more action that Rin was? How was it even in the realm of possibilities?
Well, no more, Rin decided. Enough was enough. He would take what was rightfully his no matter how humiliating it turned out to be. What place did shame have in his life when he was whacking off three and four times a day? None whatsoever.
He slid out of bed, grimacing when his shorts wedged firmly in the crack of his ass, and kicked the blankets out of his way. Into the kitchen he strode, purposeful and determined. That his shorts were tented comically was of no consequence to him. That he couldn't swagger as he would have liked due to the uncomfortable angle of his cock was of even less consequence. The look on Chinen's face as he crossed the floor was indication enough that he'd noticed Rin's state of discomfort and when Rin finally stood before him, Chinen's gaze dropped to the vicinity of Rin's shorts and stayed there.
"Rin...," he began, unable to offer much more. Staring up at him defiantly, Rin dropped to his knees.
"You really want to know what I need?" he asked, nosing against Chinen's belly when he jerked his shorts down to about mid-thigh.
Chinen nodded, wobbly and wide-eyed and as stiff as a board.
"This," Rin said, gripping the base of Chinen's cock and taking every single inch past his lips and down his throat. Chinen gasped. His knees buckled and he grabbed at the counter behind him with one hand while he fisted the other in Rin's sleep-tousled hair.
Rin hummed an acknowledgement, but didn't stop. Instead, he inched closer to squeeze Chinen's ass, moaning deep in his throat when his cock jerked to leak clear, thin fluid over his tongue. His breath hitched, he made a choking sound and the sound of his knuckles cracking when he gripped the edge of the counter hard was a warning that came just a split second too late. Rin pulled back, one eye closed and preparing to turn his head when Chinen lost all control of himself. Once, twice and third time was the charm when he shot his release over Rin's jaw and onto his neck. Clapping a hand over his mouth, the look in his eyes was all the apology he seemed able to offer.
Rin wiped his face with the back of his hand and laughed. Having made no effort to rise to his feet, he spread his knees wider and rubbed his dick with the flat of one hand. "Guess you needed that, too, ne?"
Finally, Chinen lowered his hand. His expression shifted, his eyes narrowed, and Rin began to think perhaps he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have. Slowly, he hitched his shorts back up, wincing when the stretched elastic brushed his cock. Without a word, he held out a hand to Rin.
"Are you mad?" Rin asked, hesitant when he gripped Chinen's hand. Silent still, Chinen tugged him to his feet, stepping close to shorten the distance between them. He didn't look mad, but neither did he look like a guy who'd just been given a pretty damned good blowjob - even if it hadn't lasted very long.
Poised to inform him precisely what an ungrateful bastard he was, Rin squeaked in surprise when Chinen bent to sweep him off of his feet. Over Chinen's shoulder and knowing he should at least make an attempt at reclaiming his dignity, Rin found that he could only laugh, instead. He smacked Chinen's ass, laughing harder when Chinen's grip on his thighs tightened.
When Chinen slammed the bedroom door behind them, Rin knew that it wasn't anger he was feeling. It made him feel pretty good, knowing that he hadn't lost his touch.
* * *
Okinawa wasn't what Tezuka had imagined. The land on which Kite's house was situated seemed forgotten - tucked away in some little natural corner while what passed for the metropolitan area spread farther and farther to cover the island from one side to the other. It was strange to see rocky dunes and stretches of beach only a few hundred yards away from hotels and restaurants and bus lines. Certain parts of the area put Tezuka in mind of a resort. Kite had laughed when he'd said so, just as he'd laughed when Tezuka had asked if the entire island were as isolated as some of the houses they'd passed.
It made him smile, to think of what his friends might say if they'd been present. "At least there's a Starbucks," Ryoma would say. Atobe would sniff and trifle with the cuffs of his shirt. "Starbucks is so 2004. And you don't even drink coffee."
"...ne, Tezuka?" Kite said, bending to peer closely at him.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, wondering if his expression gave away the direction of his thoughts. "I wasn't listening."
Kite shrugged, appearing unperturbed when he tucked his hands into his pockets. "I asked if you were having an all right time."
"Of course," he said. "I-"
Catching himself at the last moment, he offered Kite a stiff, awkward smile and looked out toward the scruffy dune just ahead. 'I'm with you', he'd almost said. Even now, he was hesitant when it came to being too free with his feelings. Kite never leaned too far one way or another - he was neither unnecessarily demonstrative nor too emotionally detached - and so his level of comfort was hard to truly determine. It was ridiculous, Tezuka knew, to be so hyper-aware of something that was supposed to come naturally, but he couldn't change who he was. Not at so quickly a rate, in any event.
Kite didn't push, though, and allowed Tezuka his silence as they walked along together. Sluggish and content after the lunch they'd shared downtown, Tezuka found that having Kite by his side while he retreated into the furthest recesses of his very analytical mind felt good.
There was so much to consider - remember - that Tezuka felt certain they could have walked for miles without his ever saying a single word. He thought about the way Kite had been last night: completely in charge of himself and his surroundings and yet so quick to offer Tezuka a submission that seemed almost out of character. His actions, his assurances indicated otherwise and Tezuka couldn't have said if his ease in reversal were pleasing or frightening. He thought about Kite's family and how easy they were with each other. There had been little formality to observe and while Kite hadn't gone out of his way to make sure everyone knew they were sleeping together, neither had his demeanor toward Tezuka cooled at all.
The way Kite had smiled at him that morning over breakfast, and the emotion that such an expression had roused in Tezuka was simply another indication of what they'd become. Just one emotion, at once simple and so complex that he barely knew his own mind, Tezuka could not deny what was. All that remained, to prove to himself that what they had was the real thing, was to tell Kite. And that scared the hell out of him.
"Do you like it, then?" Kite asked. "Here, I mean."
He stopped walking then, the both of them balanced atop the dune, staring out at the ocean in the distance. Tezuka glanced at him sideways, taking in the familiar, fine profile and the way he avoided looking at Tezuka until he'd received some hint that his scrutiny would be welcome. Tezuka understood what he was getting at. This was Kite's home, it was important to him, and he wanted Tezuka to find as much to love about it as he always had.
"I do," Tezuka answered, standing close to brush the back of his hand against Kite's. "It's not what I imagined. It was bright and busy in the city, but here..."
He paused for a moment, considering. "Here it's so peaceful and still."
"The lights go down, here. Everything sleeps," Kite said. He looked at Tezuka then, loosely twining their fingers. "Do you like it enough to come back again sometime?"
Catching his fingers in a tighter grip, Tezuka arched a brow. "With you?"
An almost smile; Tezuka had seen its shadow. But then he only continue to stare at Tezuka, head tilted. "Yes, with me."
Ducking his head, Tezuka toed at a few pebbles and shrugged lightly. He did not, however, release Kite's hand. "If you wanted me to."
Even as he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.
"What about what you want?" Kite asked. "I'm asking you if want to be with me. Long enough to make this trip again."
"Christmas will be here soon enough," Tezuka murmured. "It's not so far away-"
"Tezuka," Kite managed, jaw tight. He gripped Tezuka's shoulders, brought him closer than before. "You know what I'm trying to say. Stop pretending that you don't."
"If I come here again, people will know. It won't be difficult to figure out."
"So it won't," Kite agreed. "My question remains unchanged."
That feeling - the one he'd experienced the night before when Kite had pulled him close to wrap his arms snugly about him - was there again. Sharp and real and full. Why was it so hard to simply say it?
He nodded, kept on nodding, when he rested both hands on Kite's hips and leaned into him. Lips pressed to Kite's neck, Tezuka closed his eyes. The wind carried the scent of the sea, not as far away as Tezuka had imagined it would be. Kite was a warm, welcome solidity against him.
"Yes," he finally said. "I'll come back with you."
It wasn't a declaration - not by a long shot - but it was the best that Tezuka could do. He hoped that Kite would understand. When he nosed against Tezuka's cheek, lips warm when they brushed the corner of his mouth, it seemed that he did. With one hand firm at Tezuka's back and the other inching into the back of Tezuka's hair, Kite kissed him slowly. He tilted his head, breath warm when he coaxed Tezuka forward. He led him as he always seemed to lead him: sure and safe and masterful. To follow such a lead had only become second nature.
"Kunimitsu," he murmured against Tezuka's lips, hugging him tight when he pressed his mouth to Tezuka's. This time, for the first time, Tezuka sensed that Kite held something back - some part of himself that was uncertain. Fingers tightening at Kite's hips, Tezuka took the next kiss, unwilling to wait until Kite offered it to him. Like the night before, Kite relinquished control easily and Tezuka leaned in closer, taking over, crushing Kite's lips beneath his own. There was no power struggle between them when it came to this sort of intimacy. Somehow, Tezuka needed to acknowledge it with something more monumental than a simple kiss.
Kite's mobile vibrated then, and Tezuka stepped back a little, breathless and out of sorts but needing the sudden space between them. Reality had intruded; the spell had been broken. The moment was lost.
Kite cursed under his breath and slipped his phone out of his pocket. "This better be good," he warned.
Tezuka turned away, both arms wrapped around himself as he watched the sun begin to sink below the horizon.
"Oh, right," Kite was saying. "Sure, we can just meet you there."
After a few moments, Kite tucked his phone back into his pocket and held out a hand to Tezuka. "Ready?"
It would be dark soon. Tezuka took Kite's hand and squeezed gently, as though nothing had passed between them. "Where are we going?"
"Chinen's," Kite said, guiding Tezuka away from the hill, following his example. "You don't mind?"
Tezuka fell silent, remembering Fuji's party with no small amount of embarrassment. "No," he finally said, Kite's fingers wedged firmly between his own. "I don't mind."
* * *
It had been, Tezuka surmised, roughly two hours since they'd arrived at Chinen's house. Contrary to his expectations, no one was drunk, no fistfights had broken out and Rin had been pleasant to him throughout.
They'd played Mahjong, had tea and ramen, and had talked about their recent goings-on. Tezuka did not miss, however, that no one seemed interested in discussing the future. Chinen and Rin seemed closer than friends, but did not let on as to the nature of their relationship. Kite seemed disinterested, but Tezuka suspected that he was more than a little curious. It was one of his best tactics when it came to gathering sensitive information: feigning disinterest.
Tanishi had made an appearance, but had left right after the first hand they'd played or he'd have risked being late for work. Kai called soon after, promising to make an appearance before Kite turned into a pumpkin.
Presently, Tezuka sat next to Kite on Chinen's tiny sofa and shifted uncomfortably. Having spent the day sightseeing with Kite with little surcease, he'd begun to grow tired. He muffled a yawn and leaned forward to pour himself more tea. Chinen made rather wonderful tea.
"Tired?" Kite asked, rubbing the side of Tezuka's leg absently. "We can go if you like."
His solicitous touch had not gone unnoticed by Rin, who looked pointedly away. Offering Kite a small smile, Tezuka shook his head and sipped from his cup.
"I'm fine. I know you want to see Kai."
Rin snorted, adding more sugar to his tea and resting one elbow on the small card table. "I wouldn't hang around just for him, Eishirou. He's busy these days, if you know what I mean."
Stepping over Rin to join them at the table again, Chinen took his place beside him and began to box up the game. "He's got a new girl," he supplied helpfully.
Kite laughed. "Again? How many does that make this year? Ten? Fifteen?"
Chinen shrugged. "He seems serious about this one. He doesn't talk about her much and gets mad when we tease him about it."
"So what's she like?" Kite asked.
"No idea," Rin answered, slurping his tea when he got to the bottom of the cup. "We've never met her."
"Interesting," Kite finally said. "Perhaps we'll all be sitting here next year, about to attend a wedding."
"If he doesn't knock her up before then," Rin muttered.
Chinen smiled a little and tugged a strand of Rin's hair. "That's not so bad, is it? We'd be uncles or something."
Rin snorted. "I'm not old enough for that, thank you very much."
Chinen laughed then, and reached over Rin to stack cups and small plates. "Looks like we're calling it a night, then."
Tezuka stood to gather a stack of cups. "I'll help you," he offered, earning one of Chinen's rare smiles.
Rin dug into his pocket, rolling to all fours and climbing to his feet. "I need a cigarette."
"I thought you quit," Kite and Chinen spoke up in unison, glancing balefully at one another after.
"Who are you, my mother?" he said, heading toward the bedroom where he kept his personal effects.
Chinen shook his head, but couldn't conceal his indulgent expression when he snuck a glance at Rin's retreating figure. Kite followed, hands in his pockets and whistling to himself.
Tezuka rinsed dishes and set them in Chinen's sink. He didn't look up. "Thank you for inviting us," he said.
"No problem," Chinen said, tidying the counters while Tezuka worked. "I'm glad we got a chance to meet you."
"I'm not sure Hirakoba feels similarly."
Chinen shrugged, pulling a dented stool up to the counter. "Don't take it personally."
"Isn't it personal?" Tezuka asked.
Smiling, but finding no real humor in the situation, he draped himself over the stool to lean on the counter. Tezuka couldn't remember the last time he'd been close to someone so tall.
"Sure, it's personal between him and Kite. But not between him and you. Get it?"
Tezuka shook his head. "He doesn't like me at all."
"He's just hurt, that's all. It's hard to watch someone else steal away the one you love."
Something in his words, in the tone of his voice, stilled Tezuka's hands and he looked up, seeing something in Chinen that he hadn't seen before. "Most people wouldn't be so forgiving," he ventured.
"Yeah, well," Chinen began. "Most people don't know what it's like to love someone as much I do."
Tezuka was silent, pensive. He looked down at his hands, resting on the sink's edge, and thought of Kite - walking at his side, protecting him in the most unspoken, important ways, caring for him to an extent that no one else seemed willing. It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he did. He knew what it was like to love someone that much. But he couldn't give those words to Chinen - not when he hadn't given them to Kite.
He looked up, his mind clear now when it hadn't been before, and Chinen merely smiled at him. "Excuse me," he began. "I think the cat's still outside. I need to find her."
He flipped on an outside light and closed the door behind him. Tezuka turned toward the bedroom, wanting to get Kite alone, wanting to take him away someplace where no one would overhear the things he wanted to say - needed to say.
It was quiet at the back of the small house and there were no lights on to lead the way. He felt along the wall, footsteps light, until he saw him. Saw them. Before the window, nothing more than two silhouettes that seemed to merge one into the other, were Kite and Rin.
With his arms around Rin, Kite could rest his chin atop Rin's head to hold him close. Rin clung - even in the darkness Tezuka could see just how tightly he clung - and he took a deep, shaky breath. "It doesn't matter," he said, voice quiet. "I love you, Eishirou."
Tezuka froze, rooted just where he stood. He felt as though his heart would stop.
"Yeah," Kite said, pressing a kiss to the top of Rin's head. "Me too." And then, as though once hadn't been enough, he said it again. "Me too."
Turning away, making his way blindly down the hallway, Tezuka crossed the room and slipped outside soundlessly. He had no car, no real grasp of where he was going and absolutely no intention of returning to Kite's house to retrieve his belongings. Tezuka knew that he had to leave now. Had to get out of there before he completely fell apart. He could do that on the plane. Alone.
* * *
Rin pulled away first, ready at last, and shoved playfully at Kite's chest. "Asshole. Stop trying to take advantage of me in the dark."
Kite snorted, feeling along the wall for the light switch. "You probably unscrewed all the light bulbs yourself."
"You wish," Rin returned, bending to rifle through Chinen's discarded jeans for his missing cigarettes. "Score, found 'em."
"Where were they?" Kite asked.
"In Hiroshi's pocket. He must've been hiding them from me. Control freak."
"Hey, Rin," Kite called, halting Rin just in the doorway. "This is good, right? You and me?"
Rin smiled, though Kite couldn't see it. "Dummy. We'll always be together. All of us. Remember? One for all and all for one?"
Kite laughed, remembering their childish passion and determination. "I don't remember ever saying that."
Rin laughed, too. "Maybe not, but you meant it."
Kite couldn't argue with that. Whether they ever spoke of it or not, they were brothers. They always would be. Finally feeling as though everything were settled, Kite followed Rin back into the kitchen.
"Where'd they go?" Rin asked, looking around. "You don't think they ran off together, do you?"
Kite laughed. "Highly unlikely."
"Yeah, tell me about it. No way would he run out on me after this morning," Rin muttered around his cigarette. He lit it, tossing the matches on the table and winking at Kite. "I'm not that easy to forget."
"Maybe they went outside," Kite said, opening the door to peer outside. After a moment, Chinen appeared with a mangy cat. Kite took a step back. "That thing get run over or something?"
"What?" Chinen asked, rubbing the top of the cat's head with his chin. "She's fine. She was napping on the hood of the car."
Cat forgotten, Kite glanced around again. "Where's Tezuka?"
Chinen shook his head in confusion. "He was just inside. He was in the kitchen when I went outside to get the cat."
"Maybe he's in the bathroom," Rin suggested, but Kite was quick to shake his head.
"No, I'd have heard him..."
He trailed off there, paling. "Oh fuck."
"What?" Chinen asked, catching the look that passed between Rin and Kite. "What are you talking about?"
"You think he saw us?" Rin asked nervously.
But Kite was already gone, searching the other two rooms of the tiny house, swearing when Tezuka wasn't there. "Fuck!" he yelled, slamming Chinen's bedroom door before taking out his phone. "He can't have just left."
Rin would have begged to differ, but he wasn't stupid enough to say so when Kite looked as murderous as he did. "This is so not cool," he murmured, dropping ash on the floor.
"Hey, watch it!" Chinen said, elbowing Rin when he bent to set the cat down. "What did he see? What were you talking about?"
Rin moved casually toward the sink to run water over his cigarette. "Kite and I were...y'know. Saying goodbye."
Chinen blinked. "Saying goodbye?"
Shrugging, Rin crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, you know. We hugged. No big deal."
Eyes narrowed, Chinen clearly suspected that there was more that Rin wasn't saying, but he didn't seem to want to press the issue. Not now, in any event.
"His phone's off. Damn it," Kite hissed, raking a hand through his hair. "That little idiot." He began to pace.
Rin began to fidget; he hated when Kite paced aimlessly. It made him antsy.
"I didn't hear him leave," Chinen said. "If he left, he was careful not to let me hear him."
"Maybe he went back to your house, Kite?" Rin asked, but Kite shook his head.
"He wouldn't. If he saw me with Rin, he'd want to get as far away from me as he could."
"But we weren't doing anything!" Rin objected.
Kite rubbed his temples, sighed heavily. "You don't know him, Rin. He's probably been waiting for me to disappoint him."
"That's ridiculous."
"Is it?" Kite asked. "When you're afraid to trust someone, it's not so ridiculous to tell yourself that they're going to let you down."
"So it doesn't hurt so much when they do," Chinen said, avoiding Rin's gaze.
Covering his face with one hand, Kite sighed, shoulders slumped. "Damn it, Kunimitsu," he murmured.
"Well, we're not going to find him sitting here on our asses," Rin spoke up, squeezing Chinen's shoulder when he passed. He paused at the door, slipping on his ratty sneakers. "Don't forget, we've got an edge on him."
Kite looked up. "We do?"
"Duh," Rin answered, tossing Chinen the keys to his car. "We've got Christine."
"Christine," Kite repeated tonelessly.
"My car," Chinen clarified sheepishly.
Heartened somewhat, Kite nodded, moving to put on his own shoes. "Good point. He's got to make it to the bus station first, right?"
"Right," Rin agreed. "You want to call your mom, just in case?"
"No way," Kite was quick to refuse. "She'd be asking all kinds of questions and my dad's home by now and then he'd get in on it..."
Rin made a face. "That would be awkward."
"So let's just go. We're wasting time."
* * *
Hana laughed, looking around quickly to see who might be looking. Truthfully, though, she couldn't have cared less. The boy in her arms made reality seem so far away.
"Watch it," she warned, even as she tightened her arms around him. He nuzzled her neck, tickling her and nibbling her earlobe and she twisted in his arms to avoid further tickling, knocking off his hat in the process. He scowled, bending to pick up his favorite red trucker hat.
"You almost took an eye out, Hana-chan," he accused, already reaching for her again. "Be gentle with me; I'm fragile."
She laughed, keeping him at arm's length while she pushed her glasses up along the bridge of her nose. "Sure you are, Kai-kun. A delicate little flower."
He stared at her - so pitiful with that dejected expression - and she couldn't help relenting. She took his hand, bringing him close, and hugged him carefully.
"Hana-chan?"
"Hm?" she answered, wrapping both arms around his neck. She didn't need to stand on her tiptoes to reach his lips and that never failed to please her.
"Could you not call me 'Kai-kun'?" He shuddered, but relaxed when she cozied to him.
"What would you like me to call you, then?"
"How about Yuu-chan?" he offered hopefully, eyes shining under the brim of his hat.
Hana touched his face, smiled sweetly at him. "I think I like that," she murmured, voice lowering the way he'd never heard another girl's voice manage. "Yuuuu-chan," she teased, tilting her head to seek another kiss.
"I like you," Kai said, heartbeat picking up when her lips touched his. His eyes slid closed and he tried to think about something other than getting Kite Hana into his bed but - as per usual - failing miserably. She was so strong, so sweet, so beautiful - so perfect - that he could scarcely believe his luck. The luck that would end if, or rather when, Kite found out that Kai had been macking on his baby sister. He already had the feeling that Hana's mother wasn't thrilled about the whole thing.
After a moment, when it became obvious that Hana was no longer participating in the kiss, Kai pulled away, turning to see just what it was that had so effectively garnered her attention. "What are you looking at?" He demanded, gaze immediately zeroing in on the tall megane who'd just stepped off the bus and onto the sidewalk. He looked familiar.
"See that guy?" Hana asked, pointing at the guy Kai had noticed.
"Yeah, so?"
"You don't recognize him?"
Kai frowned. "Should I?"
"That's Eishirou's boyfriend," she told him. "They're staying with us."
"What?! I didn't know Kite was..."
"Gay?" She interrupted. "Really, you didn't know?"
"No," Kai scowled. "I mean, I knew that he and Rin were over, but I didn't know he was serious about someone else."
"Oh, yes," Hana told him knowledgably. "He's serious, all right. I was surprised, myself."
"Well, where's Kite, then?" Kai asked, tensing almost as soon as the words left his lips. "Oh, shit. He's going to see us, Hana-chan! He's going to see us together and he's gonna kick my ass right here in the street. We gotta go."
Rolling her eyes, Hana reached into Kai's back pocket and took out his cell. "Stop being such a baby. Call Chinen and snoop for some info."
"Fine," he muttered, already punching in Chinen's number. "But you're going to miss me when I'm gone," he warned.
"I'll remember you fondly, Yuu-chan," she promised, taking his hand and tucking it into her back pocket. He stared at her, eyes-wide and tongue-tied, and she laughed. It creeped Kai out sometimes, how much she reminded him of her brother, but it was too late to go back. Men didn't walk away from women like her.
"Kai?" Chinen said, having been met with silence when he'd answered the call. "Are you there?"
"Oh, sorry man," Kai said quickly. "I was distracted."
"It's fine," Chinen assured him. "What's up? We gave up on you earlier."
Laughing nervously, Kai allowed Hana to tug him across the street - closer to Tezuka, though she kept a careful distance. "Yeah, sorry about that. I got busy."
"Okay," Chinen said slowly. "So what's up?"
"Oh, right, I called you. I was just wondering if Kite was with you."
"Yeah, he's here. Why?"
"Well, ummm," Kai hedged. "I guess I was just wondering if he was alone."
"What? Are you high?" Chinen demanded.
There was a thump, and then rustling and then Rin. "Yuujiroh?"
"Rin?"
"Yeah, sorry. Hiroshi dropped the phone. What's going on?"
"Oh," Kai began again - he was such a terrible liar. "Nothin' much, I guess."
"Okay, that's enough," Hana said, reaching over to pluck the phone out of Kai's hand. "Rin-kun? Is my brother with you?"
"Hana-chan?" Rin screeched - Kai could hear him.
"Yes, may I speak with my brother, please?"
There was a moment of silence, during which Hana shot Kai a withering glance. Kai hunched his shoulders. "I'm sorry!" he hissed. "I panicked!"
"Nii-chan," she said. "What did you do to Tezuka to make him want to wander the streets all alone, hm?"
Kai watched, tugging his hat further down when he heard Kite raise his voice. Hana simply held the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes.
"Well, whatever. Do you want me to talk to him?" She sighed, nodding along as Kite barked instructions into the phone. "Fine, fine. Yes, I hear you. Yes, Mom knows I'm out. No, I'm not alone."
There was another extended silence and Hana glanced nervously at Kai. "Uh, we can talk about that later. Yes, you'll probably be mad. No, I really don't care. Fine. I said fine. I'll call you back."
"What did he say?" Kai demanded, remembering the captain of the Judo club and what had happened to him when he'd tried to peek under Hana's skirt at the bus stop when they were kids.
"He wants us to follow him," she said, dragging Kai to the crosswalk and tucking his phone into her purse.
"No, about us! What did he say about us?"
"Uh," she began, looking in both directions before hurrying across the street with Kai in tow. "We can talk about that later..."
* * *
It was interesting, Tezuka thought, how disillusionment could be so painful. When it had been Atobe to let him down, he hadn't quite so blindsided as he'd been when Kite had done it. Perhaps he'd been expecting it from Atobe. Perhaps the weeks leading up to the end of their relationship had helped Tezuka prepare for the inevitable - to protect himself, in some way. With Atobe, there'd been a detached sort of resolve. It had hurt, but not like this.
Tracing the buttons on his cell phone, Tezuka considered calling Oishi. Who else would commiserate to quite the same extent? Who else felt another person's pain as acutely as Oishi? No one. And that was why he didn't call that familiar number. Oishi would pave the way to a total emotional breakdown, leading Tezuka every step of the way while they took turns analyzing their every failed relationship. As much as he appreciated Oishi's friendship, he wasn't much help in an emotional crisis. Not when Tezuka needed so badly to separate himself from his emotions.
The call he made was the only sensible choice, for there was only one person in the world who possessed the ability to save Tezuka from himself.
Ryoma picked up on the first ring.
"It's me," was all that Tezuka said.
"So I noticed," Ryoma returned. "It's getting late, Buchou."
"Am I disturbing you?" Tezuka asked, wry and testy because Ryoma would welcome it.
"No, we stay up pretty late, you know. Sometimes it's dawn before I can get Keigo to settle down."
Tezuka smiled, catching the disgruntled rumble of Atobe's voice in the background. "What did he say?"
"He said I could fuck off home by myself and he'd worry about what time he retired."
Tezuka laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep the tears at bay. If they started, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop.
"I don't know why I'm calling," Tezuka said.
"Who says you need a reason?" Ryoma asked. His voice was muffled for a moment, as he rattled off a street address, presumably to Atobe's driver.
"You and Atobe are going out?" he asked.
"We've been out. One more appearance and we'll drag it home. It's been a long night."
"You hate social obligations," Tezuka reminded him.
"Yeah," Ryoma agreed. "But I like showing him off, you know? He dresses up so nice."
Ryoma yelped, his laughter muffled for a moment before he returned to Tezuka. "Bastard hit me. So where are you, Buchou? Lounging on the beach?"
Silent for a moment, Tezuka glanced around the near-empty terminal. His flight wouldn't board for almost three more hours - he hadn't yet gone through security. "I'm at the airport."
"Oh. You and killer heading back?"
"No," Tezuka said. "Just me."
"Did something happen?" Ryoma asked, the faint music in the background lowering further.
"Yeah," Tezuka said. "I'm not sure I want to talk about it now."
"That's fine," Ryoma said. "Are you sure leaving's the right thing to do?"
"Yes," Tezuka was quick to answer. "I don't think I belong here."
"Buchou," Ryoma began. "It's just a place. You belong where you want to belong."
Tezuka smiled. "With Kite. I don't think I belong with Kite."
"At least he's got that much sense," Atobe muttered, and Tezuka sat up straight, indignant.
"Do you have me on speaker?" Tezuka demanded.
Ryoma was quick to deny. "Of course not. He's just nosy."
There were muffled voices and scuffling sounds before Ryoma spoke again. "There, I moved as far away from him as I can. Go ahead."
"There's not much to say," Tezuka told him. "I just..." He trailed off, rubbing his chest absently. The ache simply wouldn't go away. "Things aren't what I convinced myself they were. I made an error in judgment."
"You sound pretty sure of that," Ryoma said. "It must have been bad, huh? What happened."
"Bad enough," Tezuka said. "So that's that. I'm on my way home; I just wanted someone to know where I was."
"You don't think he'll chase after you? He doesn't strike me as the type to give up without a fight." He paused a moment, covering the phone with his hand. "Oh, let it go, Keigo."
Tezuka sighed. "He won't come after me. He'll know there's no point." After a moment, he continued. "Anyway, I should go now. I'll call you soon."
"Okay," Ryoma said. "Call me if you need me."
"I will," Tezuka promised.
"Buchou?" Ryoma asked, voice gone very quiet. "Running away's not always the answer. People make bad calls sometimes, you know? Even you."
Reaching up, Tezuka lay the back of his hand against the glass window behind him. "That much is evident."
He ended the call without saying goodbye - Ryoma hated saying goodbye - and huddled into the small, plastic seat. He folded his hands in his lap and glanced around uncomfortably; he didn't even have a bag to hide behind.
That image - one he was certain would be a long time in forgetting - of Kite and Rin rose again in his mind and he sighed, exasperated with himself. He had to stop thinking about it. He had to keep his mind on something else. Something that didn't make him feel dead on the inside. Hollow. Empty. Stupid.
There was no way he'd jumped to the wrong conclusion - the scene he'd stumbled upon didn't hinge so much on interpretation. That certainty was reason enough for Kite not to follow him. What could he say? What explanation could he offer that might make his actions acceptable? None, Tezuka decided. There was nothing he could say.
With his elbows on his knees, Tezuka leaned forward, cradling his head with the tips of his fingers. Never again would he let someone that close to his heart. Not as long as he lived. Not as long as he-
"Tezuka."
He looked up, startled. There was no mistaking that voice, however, no matter that his vision was just this side of blurry. Embarrassed, he ducked his head, wiping his eyes when he adjusted his glasses.
"How did you find me?" he asked, voice low and cold.
"Don't worry about how I found you. Why did you leave?" Kite demanded. As angry as Tezuka was hurt, Kite was looking for a fight. Standing stiffly - back straight and pride intact - Tezuka decided that he was happy to give him one.
"I didn't see the point in staying," Tezuka told him, hands balled into fists at his side. "You were already so thoroughly occupied."
Bowing his head, Kite rubbed his face with both hands. When he looked up, his face was flushed, his glasses crooked. "You are unbelievable, do you know that? What kind of idiot takes off into the darkness without a single clue where he's going? Over nothing!"
Stepping closer, Tezuka drew himself to his full height - Kite didn't have more than inch on him, anyway - and hissed, "I wouldn't call what you were doing nothing. And I made it here fine on my own. Which is how I'll be leaving."
"Kunimitsu," Kite began.
"Tezuka," Tezuka corrected.
"There's nothing between Rin and I," he said.
Tezuka made a disgusted sound, turned his head away.
"I swear it," Kite went on. "We-" he hesitated, voice lowering considerably. "Do we have to do this here?"
"We don't have to do it at all," Tezuka said. "In two and a half hours, I'm getting on that plane."
"Fine," Kite said, voice rising again. "Get on the goddamned plane, but I'm coming with you. We can fucking well fight all the way to Fukuoka if that's how you want it."
"What I want, Kite," Tezuka said, jaw tight. "Is for you to leave me alone. I have nothing else to say to you."
"No?" Kite asked. "Well, I have something to say to you."
"I don't want to hear it," Tezuka said, turning away. He had the ticket, Kite didn't. He'd just go through security and wait for his flight to board where he knew Kite would not follow.
"I love you," Kite said. He didn't lower his voice, didn't whisper. Tezuka closed his eyes, willing himself forward. He couldn't afford to hesitate - not even for this. With the first step Tezuka took in the opposite direction, Kite called out to him again.
"Tezuka, did you hear me? I'm sorry for what you saw, but you're wrong about this."
Throat tightening, Tezuka took a deep breath. Despite his best intentions, despite the certainty that walking away was the smartest thing he could do, he found that he simply couldn't move another inch.
"Rin's been my friend for years - I care about him - but you're the one I love."
When Tezuka did not turn around, Kite's voice wavered, only for a moment. "Tezuka. Please."
After a moment, Tezuka half-turned to look over his shoulder. Kite didn't appear so angry any longer. It was then that Tezuka noticed the small group of people huddled near an oversized advertisement. Chinen, Rin, Kite's sister and Kai - watching intently and trying to be inconspicuous in the doing of it. They were listening, though, of that much Tezuka was certain.
He looked at Kite, the hurt he'd wanted so badly to hide surfacing at last. "Eishirou, I saw you. I saw you holding each other."
"You saw me hugging my friend. As you hugged Atobe."
Tezuka looked away again, embarrassed.
"Tezuka," Kite said. "You saw us saying goodbye."
He took a step closer, And then another. That Tezuka did not seek to evade him seemed to lend him the confidence he needed to take the remaining few steps between them. His touch, when it came, was light, hesitant - nothing more than his fingertips trailing up along Tezuka's arm.
"I love you," he said again. "I won't let you go."
Just Kite's hand on Tezuka's shoulder - holding him, turning him - was enough to weaken his resolve.
"You love me, too," Kite murmured, getting both arms around Tezuka's shoulders to pull him close. Tezuka hesitated - going slowly - but going all the same. "I wouldn't hurt you; why are you always so quick to think the worst of me?"
Arms still at his sides, Tezuka allowed Kite to hold him despite the audience he knew such a spectacle might draw. Immobile with indecision, but unable to push Kite away, Tezuka pressed his face to Kite's neck merely to breathe him in. Could he walk away, after being this close? Could he throw away the words that Kite had found the courage to offer when he couldn't find that same courage within himself? Was he willing to trust blindly, when he'd never been able to do so before?
"Kunimitsu," Kite murmured, voice soft, breath warm against Tezuka's ear. "Tell me you love me, too. Just this once."
Closing his eyes, Tezuka pressed the palms of his hands tight to Kite's back. His skin was damp beneath the thin t-shirt he wore; it occurred to Tezuka that Kite had probably run the length of the airport to find him.
"Trust me," Kite said, arms tightening around him when Tezuka didn't seek to free himself. "I'll say it as loud as you want, as many times as I have to until you believe me. But I'm not letting you go."
"Eishirou," he murmured, clinging as Rin had clung hours before. It was overwhelming to Tezuka, to know that Kite wanted him this much, wanted to belong to him this much. "I thought..."
Kite was silent, seemingly content to hold Tezuka against him.
"I love you," Kite said again, as though there were no need to work through recriminations or misunderstandings. As though there was only one thing that mattered to him.
"I love you, too," Tezuka finally whispered, the words escaping him in a near-silent rush of breath. He was quiet after, not at all certain that he could utter another word. Still, he held fast to Kite, who nuzzled the curve of his ear, his temple.
"Stay with me," Kite murmured, and it wasn't a question. The heat between them, Tezuka's arms around him, were answer enough.
* * *
Ryoma's phone, nestled in the pocket of his sport jacket, vibrated again. Atobe looked over, one brow arched in question.
Frowning, Ryoma turned away from the other people seated at the table and opened his inbox.
From: Tezuka K.
Time: 21:42:15
Subject: -__-
Never mind.
Snickering to himself, Ryoma slid his phone closed and snuck a look at Atobe, who gazed at him impassively. Ryoma shifted in his chair, leaning to squeeze Atobe's knee beneath the table where no one else could see. At Atobe's immediate expression of distaste, Ryoma grinned. And he blew him a kiss.
~ end ~