Untitled
I don't want this to be real... I know it is and I can't change it, but I wish I could so much. Living life is so weird now. Everything around me relates to Dane. I have all these things lying around that he gave me and it's really sad, but I don't ever want to get rid of those things. I want to keep the memories forever.
I'm pretty unhappy with life overall when it comes down to it. I was before, and this happening has kind of just made me want to give up on life. I've been fighting that though, I'm trying my hardest to get a job, and I'm starting to think I might actually get one. But I don't want to jinx myself. And I'm so tired of going to school but I need to get a degree in something. I just feel like I'm stuck. I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to be happy. I don't know how to do that though.
And Jan always having to travel really sucks. I hate not seeing him more than 2.5 days a week. :(
I'm pretty unhappy with life overall when it comes down to it. I was before, and this happening has kind of just made me want to give up on life. I've been fighting that though, I'm trying my hardest to get a job, and I'm starting to think I might actually get one. But I don't want to jinx myself. And I'm so tired of going to school but I need to get a degree in something. I just feel like I'm stuck. I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to be happy. I don't know how to do that though.
And Jan always having to travel really sucks. I hate not seeing him more than 2.5 days a week. :(