My Tribute To Dane
I feel like I can't really share my feelings about this whole thing with too many people. However, anyone who knows me on here and who would bother to read this know already my past with Dane. I kind of just want to make an entry with old pictures and memories of when we were the closest, but I also feel like I shouldn't because we both had moved on and stayed friends. With him dying though, a lot of feelings resurface. I mean this kid was my first serious long term relationship, and I really loved him. I've obviously moved on and am not in love with him anymore, but as a friend, I still love him. Knowing I will never see him again and gossip about people makes me incredibly sad. My friendship with Dane was very unique. We had the cleanest break up ever, and I think that's why we could stay such good friends (although we didn't really hang out in person so often). I don't know, it's weird because I think we were both hurt by the break up, but it was kind of one of those things were we both knew it was best? Anyway, the awesome thing was, after we broke up, there was never a time we saw each other where it was awkward. The thing is, I feel like everyone else thought it was awkward that we were friends. I don't know why I just have that feeling.
I am not getting to the point. I'm not even really sure what the point is. I miss him. I hate that I will never see him again. Its not fair to anyone who was friends with him that this had to happen. His family is so great, they don't deserve this. I'm a broken record, but I can't stop. It hurts too much to know I'll never see him again.
I try to just remember all the good times we had together and be happy that I knew such an awesome person, but then I just think of how he's gone now. I think how I wish I could have seen him one last time or that maybe I could have known that the last time I hung out with him, would really be the last time.
Now I have all of these feelings myself, and I think how fucking horrible it is for his current girlfriend. How do you ever live with this happening to your potential future husband? I know I couldn't do it. There is no way, I am just not strong enough.
Anyway, I have some pictures and I think there is a story behind each of them. I just want to put them here for me at least.
This was the first time Dane and I hung out outside of school. It was like our first date. It was the night the October Stars played at Rubens. I think this was also one of the first times we kissed. Actually, that might have happened the day before.
Unfortunately, I don't know how to put the rest of the pictures in here chronologically.
Dane and I used to make each other pictures on paint a lot and send them over aim. He made this picture for me one time late at night when he wanted to hang out.
This is obviously from when we went to MOSI. lol
Random picture of him looking hot.
This picture makes me realize how happy we were at that moment... which kind of makes me sad, but I'm so happy that I got to be an important stepping stone in his life. I mean, I was his first real girlfriend. :)
This is from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tiernan looked super gay that night lol.
This is Dane reading a book, at a New Year's Eve party... lol what a nerd. <3 There are more pictures of that night and he looks miserable around my friends b/c he hated most of them. /sigh Some of them were pretty dumb. Ok, I'll go ahead and put those too...
Looks like he's not as miserable here, but still not having a great time =/
I think it's safe to say we had the most fun when it was just us.
This is Dane driving us to Sea World. I remember he had a test to take that morning at USF so I went with him to class and took the test too. I put Alex Palmer on the scantron, and Dane said he was going to be pisses if they announced at the next class that she got the highest score =P.
This is just us being silly in captain hats at sea world.
One time Angie and I attempted to cut Dane's hair b/c it was getting too long for his taste.
We started to get scared so my mom had to step in.
It came out pretty cute :)
We had to show off our work, haha.
I obviously thought this picture was really hot, hence the title.
He cropped it and put it on Face The Jury. Some guy was talking shit to Heather so Dane made an account to give him bad ratings or something? lol
Other pictures he put on FTJ.
We did this a lot; chat on MSN or AIM with the web cam.
This was a show we went to where there were a bunch of vegan kids. Dane loved meat, and did not understand vegans. To spite them, he left the venue JUST to go buy beef jerky so he could eat it in front of them. =D
I think I love this picture the most because I always stick my tongue out and I have a picture just like this of me. It's not on my laptop, but I'll add it later. =P
These are the last of the pictures of me and Dane that I could find. In my opinion, they really don't need captions.
I'm really lucky to have experienced such an awesome relationship with an amazing person like Dane. A lot of girls were after Dane in High School... I was one of them, and for some reason he picked me. I don't know why, but I am so happy he did. And I'm even happier that we stayed friends after breaking up. I can't express enough how much it breaks my heart to lose him. I'm going to end this post with a quote Geier told me in an email. "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." It's the simplest way to put the most complex feelings.
I am not getting to the point. I'm not even really sure what the point is. I miss him. I hate that I will never see him again. Its not fair to anyone who was friends with him that this had to happen. His family is so great, they don't deserve this. I'm a broken record, but I can't stop. It hurts too much to know I'll never see him again.
I try to just remember all the good times we had together and be happy that I knew such an awesome person, but then I just think of how he's gone now. I think how I wish I could have seen him one last time or that maybe I could have known that the last time I hung out with him, would really be the last time.
Now I have all of these feelings myself, and I think how fucking horrible it is for his current girlfriend. How do you ever live with this happening to your potential future husband? I know I couldn't do it. There is no way, I am just not strong enough.
Anyway, I have some pictures and I think there is a story behind each of them. I just want to put them here for me at least.
This was the first time Dane and I hung out outside of school. It was like our first date. It was the night the October Stars played at Rubens. I think this was also one of the first times we kissed. Actually, that might have happened the day before.
Unfortunately, I don't know how to put the rest of the pictures in here chronologically.
Dane and I used to make each other pictures on paint a lot and send them over aim. He made this picture for me one time late at night when he wanted to hang out.
This is obviously from when we went to MOSI. lol
Random picture of him looking hot.
This picture makes me realize how happy we were at that moment... which kind of makes me sad, but I'm so happy that I got to be an important stepping stone in his life. I mean, I was his first real girlfriend. :)
This is from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tiernan looked super gay that night lol.
This is Dane reading a book, at a New Year's Eve party... lol what a nerd. <3 There are more pictures of that night and he looks miserable around my friends b/c he hated most of them. /sigh Some of them were pretty dumb. Ok, I'll go ahead and put those too...
Looks like he's not as miserable here, but still not having a great time =/
I think it's safe to say we had the most fun when it was just us.
This is Dane driving us to Sea World. I remember he had a test to take that morning at USF so I went with him to class and took the test too. I put Alex Palmer on the scantron, and Dane said he was going to be pisses if they announced at the next class that she got the highest score =P.
This is just us being silly in captain hats at sea world.
One time Angie and I attempted to cut Dane's hair b/c it was getting too long for his taste.
We started to get scared so my mom had to step in.
It came out pretty cute :)
We had to show off our work, haha.
I obviously thought this picture was really hot, hence the title.
He cropped it and put it on Face The Jury. Some guy was talking shit to Heather so Dane made an account to give him bad ratings or something? lol
Other pictures he put on FTJ.
We did this a lot; chat on MSN or AIM with the web cam.
This was a show we went to where there were a bunch of vegan kids. Dane loved meat, and did not understand vegans. To spite them, he left the venue JUST to go buy beef jerky so he could eat it in front of them. =D
I think I love this picture the most because I always stick my tongue out and I have a picture just like this of me. It's not on my laptop, but I'll add it later. =P
These are the last of the pictures of me and Dane that I could find. In my opinion, they really don't need captions.
I'm really lucky to have experienced such an awesome relationship with an amazing person like Dane. A lot of girls were after Dane in High School... I was one of them, and for some reason he picked me. I don't know why, but I am so happy he did. And I'm even happier that we stayed friends after breaking up. I can't express enough how much it breaks my heart to lose him. I'm going to end this post with a quote Geier told me in an email. "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." It's the simplest way to put the most complex feelings.