My Beautiful Disaster-piece
Well then, its relatively early on a Thursday night. Only 2330, but thats probably because I dont feel like having to deal with running around with a towel wrapped around my shoulders like a cape. Its a little too much for my exhausted self tonight. I havent been getting nearly enough sleep for days. Im amazed at the amount of energy some of the people around me seem to have. I covet it. I think Ill just turn in after this, catch up on sleep, and dream a little dream.
Last night got a little crazy after midnight with this game of "assasin" we've been playing. For those of you who dont know, assasin is when everyone else gets the name of someone else in the group to assasinate. There are safe areas (such as rooms, bathrooms and dining halls). You kill other people by hitting them with a rolled up pair of white socks. There are safeties you can employ. Right now, youre safe as long as you have an obvious lipstick kiss on your forehead, like I do now. I think Ive had more lipstick on my face in the past 24 hours than I have on my lips all my life. Its all good though. As of this morning I was tied with Bobby for having the most people assasinated. When you kill one person, you then have to move on to kill their person. The last person standing wins. Bobby and I had both killed 3 others by this morning. Unfortunately for him Bobby was killed in a violent brawl with Brian, Marc and Debbie while I was out this evening. I guess perhaps that puts me back in the lead.
So thats been the basic theme of today. I liken it to Survivor. Everyone keeps forming and breaking alliances with each other. I think Im going to lay low for awhile, especially since Marc knows Im trying to assasinate him. We had a commitee meeting today for banquet. Its going to be awesome. We have some great plans, theyre all being kept on the DL though. I was on the phone getting the prices of several different places today. I hate dealing with customer service people. Oh well. The weather continued its own rendition of the yo yo diet. Sunny, storming, sunny, hail, Im just waiting on the s**w. I wont type the word though. Got out around 4, I was gonna nap but it didnt happen.
Took off for Chilis with a crew tonight, even thought I didnt decide I was going until the last possible second. I figured Id go because Chilis in Copley takes the Husk. No complaints there. We had a seriously adventurous trip. We hated our waitress, who we found out was from France. We werent gonne tip her. Two people in our group ended up giving/getting phone numbers of various members of the waitstaff at the place. We then decided to "ride the pony" at two different points in the Pru. Yes, all in a circle singing dancing clapping and other people staring. That statement doesnt even warrant commas it was so phenomenal. Then we evacuated the Pru and sang and danced all the way home. Erika, Jojo and I said hi to every random guy along the way. Its a nice night so everyones out. We ended up getting followed home by one. Love it. I went over to Laurens for a bit. We talked, and hung out watching an ER rerun. Reminded me of last semester, just not in Speare and I missed Alli. Shell be here Saturday though. Yay!
I feel as if my life is a giant rubrick cube lately. It just keeps getting turned upside down, but no matter how you turn it, it just refuses to make sense. Theres so many people in, and out, and back in again. I know what I want, then I dont again. Tommorow everything will change again. This is where self reliance keeps hitting me over the head, and the desire for someone to just fall back on. Sometimes I just want someone to hold me and tell me its all going to make sense someday. Right now its so hard to believe. Im having a great time, and I sound happy. I am. I think. Okay Im 99% sure Im happy. I mean, I have everything I want, right? Its just something hasnt been quite right in a long time. I couldnt even begin to tell you what it is. Ive made so many mistakes on the road to figuring it out. I want to stop trying to figure it out, and just do what I want for once. Im not so sure that would work either. I guess Im going to just have to muddle my way through my confusion and indecision alone for awhile. Hopefully this will all make perfect sense someday. Maybe I just need to stop looking for a reason for it all.
Mike Frank was just talking to me for the first time in awhile. He highlighted how boring his life seems sometimes. I find myself longing for that boring on occasion. He mentioned going to California for a year. It wouldnt be a problem since hes not in school. Sometimes its amazing how many options are open to us here. It would be nice to just go somewhere else for awhile, get away from it all. I have a feeling no matter where you go, if you make a life there, youre going to have something you want to get away from. Theres no running from yourself. Your life follows you everywhere. I dont really think most of us would ever actually consider employing that option. Its just nice to think about or fantasize about every so often. Theres a big different between what a person could do and what they would do.
Well I think I might tie on my cape and make a quick trip out of the room before going to bed. Theres no running water in the building right now. We have an outage from 12-6 tonight. Thrilling. Apparently the toilets dont even work. Of course, we could always go utilize White Hall but that would require walking down the block and that just takes too much effort at midnight. So, goodnight. Youll be singing me a lullabye tonight.
*His coulda been a slow song. A laundry list of all my wrongs. But end of the day this is my beautiful disaster-piece Ive made. And it goes and I quote "it will never be like this". I dont understand the numbers, but my faith is in the math. That the odds are all this pain will leave and I will live and we'll look back and laugh. And to all the hearts Ive broken, and to those that once broke mine. Ive got suspicions all will be forgiven in time. And if it ever gets bad, I mean, real bad. Ill move to Nova Scotia and forget the life I had. Ill be up at 9 each morning. Down by the shore, collecting things that fell off boats in storms. Well okay so I might never, but its nice to know the options there. This will all make perfect sense someday. Ill be A-Okay. This will all make perfect sense someday. Theres got to be a reason for the rain. And it doesnt help that I keep biting my lip in the same place.*
Lesson(s) of the Day:
-Water outages suck.
-Having construction workers jackhammering under your bed at 6am is a serious inconvenience.
-My life is like a rubrick cube, no matter how many changes there are it still doesnt make sense.
-I hate wearing lipstick, no matter where it is. Especially with tape.
-I need to conserve my money more.
-Ive got to jump on my responsibilities.
-Most things can be forgiven in time.
-Theres a big difference between what one would do and what they should do.
-You can fix an unidentifiable problem.
-Theres got to be a reason for the rain.
And to all the hearts Ive broken
And to those that once broke mine
Ive got suspicions
all will be forgiven in time...
Last night got a little crazy after midnight with this game of "assasin" we've been playing. For those of you who dont know, assasin is when everyone else gets the name of someone else in the group to assasinate. There are safe areas (such as rooms, bathrooms and dining halls). You kill other people by hitting them with a rolled up pair of white socks. There are safeties you can employ. Right now, youre safe as long as you have an obvious lipstick kiss on your forehead, like I do now. I think Ive had more lipstick on my face in the past 24 hours than I have on my lips all my life. Its all good though. As of this morning I was tied with Bobby for having the most people assasinated. When you kill one person, you then have to move on to kill their person. The last person standing wins. Bobby and I had both killed 3 others by this morning. Unfortunately for him Bobby was killed in a violent brawl with Brian, Marc and Debbie while I was out this evening. I guess perhaps that puts me back in the lead.
So thats been the basic theme of today. I liken it to Survivor. Everyone keeps forming and breaking alliances with each other. I think Im going to lay low for awhile, especially since Marc knows Im trying to assasinate him. We had a commitee meeting today for banquet. Its going to be awesome. We have some great plans, theyre all being kept on the DL though. I was on the phone getting the prices of several different places today. I hate dealing with customer service people. Oh well. The weather continued its own rendition of the yo yo diet. Sunny, storming, sunny, hail, Im just waiting on the s**w. I wont type the word though. Got out around 4, I was gonna nap but it didnt happen.
Took off for Chilis with a crew tonight, even thought I didnt decide I was going until the last possible second. I figured Id go because Chilis in Copley takes the Husk. No complaints there. We had a seriously adventurous trip. We hated our waitress, who we found out was from France. We werent gonne tip her. Two people in our group ended up giving/getting phone numbers of various members of the waitstaff at the place. We then decided to "ride the pony" at two different points in the Pru. Yes, all in a circle singing dancing clapping and other people staring. That statement doesnt even warrant commas it was so phenomenal. Then we evacuated the Pru and sang and danced all the way home. Erika, Jojo and I said hi to every random guy along the way. Its a nice night so everyones out. We ended up getting followed home by one. Love it. I went over to Laurens for a bit. We talked, and hung out watching an ER rerun. Reminded me of last semester, just not in Speare and I missed Alli. Shell be here Saturday though. Yay!
I feel as if my life is a giant rubrick cube lately. It just keeps getting turned upside down, but no matter how you turn it, it just refuses to make sense. Theres so many people in, and out, and back in again. I know what I want, then I dont again. Tommorow everything will change again. This is where self reliance keeps hitting me over the head, and the desire for someone to just fall back on. Sometimes I just want someone to hold me and tell me its all going to make sense someday. Right now its so hard to believe. Im having a great time, and I sound happy. I am. I think. Okay Im 99% sure Im happy. I mean, I have everything I want, right? Its just something hasnt been quite right in a long time. I couldnt even begin to tell you what it is. Ive made so many mistakes on the road to figuring it out. I want to stop trying to figure it out, and just do what I want for once. Im not so sure that would work either. I guess Im going to just have to muddle my way through my confusion and indecision alone for awhile. Hopefully this will all make perfect sense someday. Maybe I just need to stop looking for a reason for it all.
Mike Frank was just talking to me for the first time in awhile. He highlighted how boring his life seems sometimes. I find myself longing for that boring on occasion. He mentioned going to California for a year. It wouldnt be a problem since hes not in school. Sometimes its amazing how many options are open to us here. It would be nice to just go somewhere else for awhile, get away from it all. I have a feeling no matter where you go, if you make a life there, youre going to have something you want to get away from. Theres no running from yourself. Your life follows you everywhere. I dont really think most of us would ever actually consider employing that option. Its just nice to think about or fantasize about every so often. Theres a big different between what a person could do and what they would do.
Well I think I might tie on my cape and make a quick trip out of the room before going to bed. Theres no running water in the building right now. We have an outage from 12-6 tonight. Thrilling. Apparently the toilets dont even work. Of course, we could always go utilize White Hall but that would require walking down the block and that just takes too much effort at midnight. So, goodnight. Youll be singing me a lullabye tonight.
*His coulda been a slow song. A laundry list of all my wrongs. But end of the day this is my beautiful disaster-piece Ive made. And it goes and I quote "it will never be like this". I dont understand the numbers, but my faith is in the math. That the odds are all this pain will leave and I will live and we'll look back and laugh. And to all the hearts Ive broken, and to those that once broke mine. Ive got suspicions all will be forgiven in time. And if it ever gets bad, I mean, real bad. Ill move to Nova Scotia and forget the life I had. Ill be up at 9 each morning. Down by the shore, collecting things that fell off boats in storms. Well okay so I might never, but its nice to know the options there. This will all make perfect sense someday. Ill be A-Okay. This will all make perfect sense someday. Theres got to be a reason for the rain. And it doesnt help that I keep biting my lip in the same place.*
Lesson(s) of the Day:
-Water outages suck.
-Having construction workers jackhammering under your bed at 6am is a serious inconvenience.
-My life is like a rubrick cube, no matter how many changes there are it still doesnt make sense.
-I hate wearing lipstick, no matter where it is. Especially with tape.
-I need to conserve my money more.
-Ive got to jump on my responsibilities.
-Most things can be forgiven in time.
-Theres a big difference between what one would do and what they should do.
-You can fix an unidentifiable problem.
-Theres got to be a reason for the rain.
And to all the hearts Ive broken
And to those that once broke mine
Ive got suspicions
all will be forgiven in time...