i am the lord of the dance said he
maybe we could just have a nice quiet conversation somewhere. or maybe we could just not.
so today. hmmm.
hmm.
today was devin's funeral. a group of 9 of us were there from camp. we all sat together. i didn't even know what to feel. it was my first funeral. it was like i was experiencing so much emotion all at once and none of them were winning. i was blank because i wasn't sure what reaction would come. it really was a nice funeral. the eulogy was touching. the whole funeral just made me think about how happy she was...i mean, devin really loved life. it was so weird that she was there, right there, in the church with us. the whole time i kept thinking of all the experiences she'd never have and all the things she could never do again. i can't imagine losing a child. i feel so awful for her family. they were lucky to have her, but who can think about that in the midst of grief? i dont know. i just felt very lucky today.
afterwards when we all stood outside, someone we all knew came up and he was just sobbing. i was still just...in disbelief. i kinda fell on mitchel and i was like, "mitchel...im just gonna laugh. i don't know what to do now so i'm just going to laugh." and i did. we talked about devin the way we knew her. and it was nice. i sort of can't help but smile when i remember devin on the stage. she was so sweet and cute. and the whole time we were in the funeral, i kept picturing devin on the first day. she was special and she knew it but you had to love her for it. you couldn't not love devin.
i cant say anything else because it is all so insignificant and tainted in comparasion to what i felt today and what the goudies are going throug right now.
it just makes me want to grab life. do what you want now. the fact that devin was taken away so young is unfair and it'd be selfish of us to not fully live the lives we've been granted. RIP devin goudie.
"Of course you're all right. You're alive."
so today. hmmm.
hmm.
today was devin's funeral. a group of 9 of us were there from camp. we all sat together. i didn't even know what to feel. it was my first funeral. it was like i was experiencing so much emotion all at once and none of them were winning. i was blank because i wasn't sure what reaction would come. it really was a nice funeral. the eulogy was touching. the whole funeral just made me think about how happy she was...i mean, devin really loved life. it was so weird that she was there, right there, in the church with us. the whole time i kept thinking of all the experiences she'd never have and all the things she could never do again. i can't imagine losing a child. i feel so awful for her family. they were lucky to have her, but who can think about that in the midst of grief? i dont know. i just felt very lucky today.
afterwards when we all stood outside, someone we all knew came up and he was just sobbing. i was still just...in disbelief. i kinda fell on mitchel and i was like, "mitchel...im just gonna laugh. i don't know what to do now so i'm just going to laugh." and i did. we talked about devin the way we knew her. and it was nice. i sort of can't help but smile when i remember devin on the stage. she was so sweet and cute. and the whole time we were in the funeral, i kept picturing devin on the first day. she was special and she knew it but you had to love her for it. you couldn't not love devin.
i cant say anything else because it is all so insignificant and tainted in comparasion to what i felt today and what the goudies are going throug right now.
it just makes me want to grab life. do what you want now. the fact that devin was taken away so young is unfair and it'd be selfish of us to not fully live the lives we've been granted. RIP devin goudie.
"Of course you're all right. You're alive."