Emo Post
I wonder if you realize how much i miss you. I wonder if you know that i havent been able to listen to bob Marley since before i left for israel. I wonder if you know that i havent been able to write anything since you've been gone. I wonder if you even still read this, because you wonder if i wonder about you. I wonder if you know how many nights i've stayed up thinking about you or how often i cry for no other reason than i've lost the most important person in my life or that this very post is evidence to the fact that i have become such an emo kid. Or how it makes me sick to talk about you because i want to talk TO you, but i cant stop talking about you because my life revolved around you and you influenced every aspect of my life. Or that as I am trying to apply to colleges i wish you were here to help me, like you said you would be. I wonder if you know how truly sorry i am for everything stupid that i did. and that i wish i hadnt been retarded and gotten lost. Or that i hadnt said so many of the vindictive and spiteful comments that we both know i did. I wonder if you check my profile or my LJ or my myspace... just to see if I am okay. I wonder if you know that i check up on you to make sure you are okay, because like we always said, we were made to look out for each other because we can never seem to do it ourselves. i wonder if you know that when i talk about you i sometimes forget, and call you my boyfriend. I wonder if you could sense it when i had a dream about you last week. or that i havent worn the grey skirt and i cant bring myself to wear it. or how i tried many times to take off my bracelet, but couldnt bear to do it because if i take it off then the tan line just advertises how you arent here anymore and i cant handle that. or how much i want that ring bakc because it was yours. or how sad i am that i dont have one of your sweaters, but that i sleep in those PJs i stole from you all the time. I wonder what it would have been like if we could talk right now and have a random conversation abotu all of those insignificant dumb things that happened today and yesterday. I wonder how you like your new roommates or what classes you are taking or if ytou are acting this semester or if you decided when/where you are going to study abroad. or if you are still doing ballroom dance or where you are workign... or if you are truly okay.
i miss you
i miss you