Relationships
Sometimes you wander through life wondering what the hell you're doing, how the hell you got there, what drives you at all to be the person you are, and what has shaped you into that person.
Other days, like today, it just hits you and you know all the answers.
As fiercely loyal as I seemed to my last boyfriend, I realize now that I've had commitment issues all my life. This would be why I always go after things that I know won't last, things that have NO BUSINESS lasting.
I really thought about things last night when I was in bed with Mike (while he was zipping through my laptop files at the speed of light to make my website...GOD, BRAINS ARE SEXY), what sets him apart from the other people that I have "loved," or those that I just said I loved (because I thought I did).
I respect him. More than anybody I've ever met, I think. He is a real man, no one has handed him anything, he's worked hard to get where he is today and at not even 27, he's so far on his way that we'll retire at 35. He does a good job at everything he tries to do, and never gives up or just waits for things to come to him. He's a do-er. I love that about him.
He's deep and deliberate. Everything he says is genuine, and has had much thought behind it. He's grown up enough to know what's important and while he's still a guy (and therefore thinking southerly at least half the time), he recognizes things in people outside of how they look. While he tells me I make him proud when we go out together...and he's always complimenting me and building my self-esteem...I know that he tells me I'm smart as much as he tells me I'm beautiful. So important.
We are best friends. We always have a good time. He's not superficial or materialistic, he likes nice things and knows when to spend and when not to.
This is a rational, logical, worth-while involvement. He is the one that renewed my faith in huMANity, when I was sure men were really all boys, frightened and hormonal and completely lacking in substance.
I took "foreign men" off my list of interests, after reading a post in which someone stated he wanted a girlfriend that wasn't white. I realized that people are people, and to discriminate is to be shallow, and to emphasize a look or an ethnicity is small-minded, superficial and silly. I'll just say that I prefer traveled people, who have been places and want to take me with them.
Other days, like today, it just hits you and you know all the answers.
As fiercely loyal as I seemed to my last boyfriend, I realize now that I've had commitment issues all my life. This would be why I always go after things that I know won't last, things that have NO BUSINESS lasting.
I really thought about things last night when I was in bed with Mike (while he was zipping through my laptop files at the speed of light to make my website...GOD, BRAINS ARE SEXY), what sets him apart from the other people that I have "loved," or those that I just said I loved (because I thought I did).
I respect him. More than anybody I've ever met, I think. He is a real man, no one has handed him anything, he's worked hard to get where he is today and at not even 27, he's so far on his way that we'll retire at 35. He does a good job at everything he tries to do, and never gives up or just waits for things to come to him. He's a do-er. I love that about him.
He's deep and deliberate. Everything he says is genuine, and has had much thought behind it. He's grown up enough to know what's important and while he's still a guy (and therefore thinking southerly at least half the time), he recognizes things in people outside of how they look. While he tells me I make him proud when we go out together...and he's always complimenting me and building my self-esteem...I know that he tells me I'm smart as much as he tells me I'm beautiful. So important.
We are best friends. We always have a good time. He's not superficial or materialistic, he likes nice things and knows when to spend and when not to.
This is a rational, logical, worth-while involvement. He is the one that renewed my faith in huMANity, when I was sure men were really all boys, frightened and hormonal and completely lacking in substance.
I took "foreign men" off my list of interests, after reading a post in which someone stated he wanted a girlfriend that wasn't white. I realized that people are people, and to discriminate is to be shallow, and to emphasize a look or an ethnicity is small-minded, superficial and silly. I'll just say that I prefer traveled people, who have been places and want to take me with them.