(no subject)
this...is...one...of...the...most... depressing...days...of...my...life
and I have a final tomorrow.
Carol left. Her desk is empty, her closet is empty, her bed in empty..I don't want to even think about her drawers..but they're empty too. Mom is gone.
I had dinner tonight with Amanda, and I couldn't stop thinking about when the next time I see her will be. Except I had no date to latch on to.. so, basically, I imagined some fake far off distant time.. This must be what it would have been like if we'd gone to different colleges...I lived off the thought that she was always just up some steps from me. I have to go to her room tonight to say goodbye..but i just keep thinking that if I don't go, I won't have to say goodbye and all this won't be true..
I have to say goodbye to Noa tonight too..she leaves tomorrow, but I'll be taking a final when she leaves..and she won't be up when I'm up. I don't know how I'm going to cope. I won't even be able to visit her...she's going to be gone most of the summer in Europe.. She's my corrupter and my strengh.. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad is leaving..
I don't even want to think about Saturday..thats when I'm going to have to say goodbye to Seth. Its quite a shock to the system to go from spending every day with one person to never seeing them. I just, I don't know. I'm going to be bawling in some restaurant with his parents, I just know it. At least we have tomorrow night...
These are the 4 people that I live off of, and they're all gone.
And I have a final tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to be able to stop crying all day.
and I have a final tomorrow.
Carol left. Her desk is empty, her closet is empty, her bed in empty..I don't want to even think about her drawers..but they're empty too. Mom is gone.
I had dinner tonight with Amanda, and I couldn't stop thinking about when the next time I see her will be. Except I had no date to latch on to.. so, basically, I imagined some fake far off distant time.. This must be what it would have been like if we'd gone to different colleges...I lived off the thought that she was always just up some steps from me. I have to go to her room tonight to say goodbye..but i just keep thinking that if I don't go, I won't have to say goodbye and all this won't be true..
I have to say goodbye to Noa tonight too..she leaves tomorrow, but I'll be taking a final when she leaves..and she won't be up when I'm up. I don't know how I'm going to cope. I won't even be able to visit her...she's going to be gone most of the summer in Europe.. She's my corrupter and my strengh.. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad is leaving..
I don't even want to think about Saturday..thats when I'm going to have to say goodbye to Seth. Its quite a shock to the system to go from spending every day with one person to never seeing them. I just, I don't know. I'm going to be bawling in some restaurant with his parents, I just know it. At least we have tomorrow night...
These are the 4 people that I live off of, and they're all gone.
And I have a final tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to be able to stop crying all day.