Willing to Fight!
My Mother in Law said something to me the other day that I viewed as very sad.
We were talking about fighting with our spouses. Not really talking about any specific argument we have had with our significant others, but more so about arguing in general. I had mentioned how because I married so young that in the beginning of my marriage I had usually given in. I saw Sam as a sort of father figure in a way since I was unable to take care of myself and, so I usually let him get his way. As I’ve gotten older and more independent I have been able to become more assertive in insisting my way in things I deem important.
My Mother in Law countered my story by revealing when she first married her husband she would fight to get her way all the time. Now, though she doesn’t argue at all, because she never wins.
How sad. This woman has basically given full control to her husband and has no voice of her own, because he will not let her win. I see that as controlling. He has pushed his way so much that she no longer has the will to fight.
Sometimes I see a bit of his father’s stubbornness in Sam, but I refuse to be unwilling to fight for what I want. Marriage is a union of two equal people and not a dictatorship. I will not be my Mother in Law!
Well, I could go on and on about how rudely my Father in Law treats his wife and so forth, but I’d rather not air their dirty laundry in my livejournal … well, to all five of you who are on my friends list. :)
I’ve been reading on the internet about the story of Baby Grace, the body of the 2 year old that was placed in a container and dropped in Galveston Bay. Horrible story. Apparently her parents beat her to death, because she wouldn’t say, “Please” or “Thank You.” It’s stories like this that make me glad I don’t spank my daughter. I used to, but stopped, because when you really look at spanking it is violence against a child. I know most will disagree with me and I do not look down on people who do spank, it’s just my own personal choice not to do so.
We were talking about fighting with our spouses. Not really talking about any specific argument we have had with our significant others, but more so about arguing in general. I had mentioned how because I married so young that in the beginning of my marriage I had usually given in. I saw Sam as a sort of father figure in a way since I was unable to take care of myself and, so I usually let him get his way. As I’ve gotten older and more independent I have been able to become more assertive in insisting my way in things I deem important.
My Mother in Law countered my story by revealing when she first married her husband she would fight to get her way all the time. Now, though she doesn’t argue at all, because she never wins.
How sad. This woman has basically given full control to her husband and has no voice of her own, because he will not let her win. I see that as controlling. He has pushed his way so much that she no longer has the will to fight.
Sometimes I see a bit of his father’s stubbornness in Sam, but I refuse to be unwilling to fight for what I want. Marriage is a union of two equal people and not a dictatorship. I will not be my Mother in Law!
Well, I could go on and on about how rudely my Father in Law treats his wife and so forth, but I’d rather not air their dirty laundry in my livejournal … well, to all five of you who are on my friends list. :)
I’ve been reading on the internet about the story of Baby Grace, the body of the 2 year old that was placed in a container and dropped in Galveston Bay. Horrible story. Apparently her parents beat her to death, because she wouldn’t say, “Please” or “Thank You.” It’s stories like this that make me glad I don’t spank my daughter. I used to, but stopped, because when you really look at spanking it is violence against a child. I know most will disagree with me and I do not look down on people who do spank, it’s just my own personal choice not to do so.