(no subject)
im almost ready for my main source of stress and apprehension to be school work again.
band stuff is going well....as far as "upward mobility" goes, we're on a good streak of decent shows fortunately attended by semi-important people. who are interested in promoting us. and in signing us, i think.
i feel very blah about it all. i like the actual playing of the music - the 20-30 minutes when we're actually on stage, or in the garage, playing music together. but the lead guy is shady and i guess in general i'm just kinda nervous. it's happening very fast and i don't know what to think. i had no part in the writing process so it seems to me that getting signed with a label with this band is kind of a crap shot. it's a great opportunity, i guess, but i always wonder about a few things:
-getting manipulated by record companies to do something we don't want.
-realizing my chemistry with the band exists only in songs that they wrote before i joined- in other words, i'll have a lot of creative input but no realization of such input within the band.
-being glued to these 3 dudes and realizing sometime down the road that i really do not want to be glued to them. one of them i already know this about. the other 2 may take time.
part of me thinks "this never happens. run with it as far as you can." the other half of me thinks "sounds good now, but it will only make me miserable in the future." i really don't know what to do. there's got to be some singular question whose answer would indicate what i truly want to do (stay with them, or not). but i do not know how to distinguish that all-encompassing question from the many others at this point.
i'm also feeling super flaky about the south korea teaching thing. "it's a great opportunity." "it would be so much fun." "what a great way to see the world." etc. this is all i hear. but none of it really rings true with me. really, it just seems like something to do. which i think is a poor reason to pursue the job.
sorry i've been awol lately. no internet at home. and the 2 week tour. i'll try to check/post a bit more.
and of course, EVERYONE is obligated to contact me if/when you're back in nashville for the holidays.