the one with friiiday
So today I had my talking to about "how to manage stresses while I'm doing this PhD" which basically boiled down to:
a) Supervisor thinks I'm depressed. Can honestly say that I am not, and man, me depressed is like fifteen billion times worse than what they saw on Monday.
b) can take leave
c) everyone has problems while they do their PhD
OKAY SO I TOTALLY KNEW THIS STUFF ALREADY. I think the "yer depressed" thing might stem from the fact that I wear head to toe black all the time, but I'd hate to tell him, but kinda a lot of people do that who AREN'T DEPRESSED. Omg. I also established that my pointing out of humourous ironies is NOT APPRECIATED in these meetings. Also people seem to have an entirely hard time dealing with the possibility that you can have a majorly screwed up life and still be a functioning well-adjusted human being. He's all "it must be PRETTY HARD to deal with all this" and I was all "this is just how my life is--it's always been like this. I'm used to it." But he wouldn't believe that. Wtf. If I wasn't okay with it all, pretty sure I would not have lived this long.
This is just the problem with these sorts of situations where you have to inform people of your "issues". I was told when I was 10 or 11 that my mother had M.S and that it'd gradually get worse, and she would end up quite disabled. I'm used to that reality. And yes, it is getting a lot worse now. But there is nothing that anyone can do about that. I am for the most part, quite rational. My father died. I know that his body is decomposing, and that is it. I am okay with that. I remember him, and others remember him. I do not feel hard-done by because he died when I was 15. It's just the way it is.
a) Supervisor thinks I'm depressed. Can honestly say that I am not, and man, me depressed is like fifteen billion times worse than what they saw on Monday.
b) can take leave
c) everyone has problems while they do their PhD
OKAY SO I TOTALLY KNEW THIS STUFF ALREADY. I think the "yer depressed" thing might stem from the fact that I wear head to toe black all the time, but I'd hate to tell him, but kinda a lot of people do that who AREN'T DEPRESSED. Omg. I also established that my pointing out of humourous ironies is NOT APPRECIATED in these meetings. Also people seem to have an entirely hard time dealing with the possibility that you can have a majorly screwed up life and still be a functioning well-adjusted human being. He's all "it must be PRETTY HARD to deal with all this" and I was all "this is just how my life is--it's always been like this. I'm used to it." But he wouldn't believe that. Wtf. If I wasn't okay with it all, pretty sure I would not have lived this long.
This is just the problem with these sorts of situations where you have to inform people of your "issues". I was told when I was 10 or 11 that my mother had M.S and that it'd gradually get worse, and she would end up quite disabled. I'm used to that reality. And yes, it is getting a lot worse now. But there is nothing that anyone can do about that. I am for the most part, quite rational. My father died. I know that his body is decomposing, and that is it. I am okay with that. I remember him, and others remember him. I do not feel hard-done by because he died when I was 15. It's just the way it is.