funny thing is it's not as if i've been at a loss for things to write about, just a lack of motivation to sit down and do it after brooding over them all day
( Read more... )
me again, your favorite non-journaling live journal lurker. Since sometimes strangers can see people better than they can see themselves, I will offer this possibility: is it possible that you love LA so much because
1) you were not home: you talk about your shyness, so maybe you become released from the confines of shyness because subconsciously, you knew that whatever you did there did not matter in the realm of your everyday life at home(cue Ask by The Smiths). If you did not have fun, or you went to talk to someone who snubbed you, it did not matter because you'd go home and the negative experience would not follow you.You had no reason to be self concious or overly self aware. I don't know if I am making sense here. Ok, an example: when I was in jr high and high school, I was kind of quiet and did not get really involved and guys at school - or people at school in general - did not really notice me much. However, when I went out and met people from other places, people really took notice of me and I was always the "belle of the ball." How to explain this? Obviously I was not any less attractive in my day to day life, but I probably had more self esteem when I was in situations where people were not going to judge or define me based on preconceived ideas from seeing me day in and day out. So, do you think that perhaps going to LA frees you to be who you want to be? If so, then the problem is not the local area (or the solution LA), it is something that you have to solve in yourself: how to be the person you want to be, act the way want to act and attract the people you want to attract in your own day to day life. If you don't solve that first, it will follow you to LA.
2) You are on vacation in LA. You don't know anyone so you can do whatever you want and not have to answer to anyone. You also don't have the mundane routines and stresses on vacation. No school, no work, etc. I hate where I live, no matter where I live (I guess I still have not worked out #1 yet, either). Everywhere I go, I fall in love with the idea of living there. San Francisco, London, Christchurch New Zealand, you name it, I dream of moving there. In my mind I have rational reasons for wanting to move to these places, but I do wonder if I would like them as much if I was working, doing the day to day there.
So, that is a lot of babbling to get from a stranger, huh? I just saw myself a bit in what you wrote so I thought I'd share.
1) you were not home: you talk about your shyness, so maybe you become released from the confines of shyness because subconsciously, you knew that whatever you did there did not matter in the realm of your everyday life at home(cue Ask by The Smiths). If you did not have fun, or you went to talk to someone who snubbed you, it did not matter because you'd go home and the negative experience would not follow you.You had no reason to be self concious or overly self aware. I don't know if I am making sense here. Ok, an example: when I was in jr high and high school, I was kind of quiet and did not get really involved and guys at school - or people at school in general - did not really notice me much. However, when I went out and met people from other places, people really took notice of me and I was always the "belle of the ball." How to explain this? Obviously I was not any less attractive in my day to day life, but I probably had more self esteem when I was in situations where people were not going to judge or define me based on preconceived ideas from seeing me day in and day out. So, do you think that perhaps going to LA frees you to be who you want to be? If so, then the problem is not the local area (or the solution LA), it is something that you have to solve in yourself: how to be the person you want to be, act the way want to act and attract the people you want to attract in your own day to day life. If you don't solve that first, it will follow you to LA.
2) You are on vacation in LA. You don't know anyone so you can do whatever you want and not have to answer to anyone. You also don't have the mundane routines and stresses on vacation. No school, no work, etc. I hate where I live, no matter where I live (I guess I still have not worked out #1 yet, either). Everywhere I go, I fall in love with the idea of living there. San Francisco, London, Christchurch New Zealand, you name it, I dream of moving there. In my mind I have rational reasons for wanting to move to these places, but I do wonder if I would like them as much if I was working, doing the day to day there.
So, that is a lot of babbling to get from a stranger, huh? I just saw myself a bit in what you wrote so I thought I'd share.
Reply
thank you... who ever you are.
Reply
Leave a comment