Treading In Treacherous Waters
Anxiety and stress are very hopeless and helpless feelings. The type of feelings that anyone would hate to be in any severe way. Lack of sleep topping that off makes it only worse. I feel like I'm falling and there is no one to catch me. Feelings of betrayl and loss makes it lonely. To say goodbye to everything and everyone isn't as easy as I remembered it being. Giving up from the beginning might have been easier, but the climb back up is usually worth it. We all have decisions to make and reasons why we make them. To make something right. To fix something that maybe shouldn't be fixed. Maybe it would be better off left broken. I never asked for the answer. I only wish I would have known years ago that I would be in this position. As it's said between a rock and a hard place, and I have no where to go. I'm stuck. If I asked you to take me away from all this; would you? Sometimes it's better to have never known. I just want to be certain of what I am doing. I need to know that it's the right choice. I may never know. It's like a running joke that really isn't funny. C'est la vie. Mon cherie, s'il vous plait sourire. I'm torn. I have no familiar characteristics. I'm hoping for the best but dreading that it will all be for the worst. I have no choice, I never do. I can never lose on my own terms. It's always on someone elses. When I was told that my biggest flaw was that I care to much about others and not enough about myself.... Maybe they were right. I've never found anything good out of any of this. Friendship has never seemed to terrible to me until now. The possibilities are out there but little are seen. I prefer the easy way out, but I don't know what that is. Do I stay or do I go? Do I shoot for the stars? Do I chase all my dreams? Or do I just settle like I have so many times before? The only way to know is to go for it. Maybe that's what this is all about; getting to the place that you are comfortable and happy. Money and things are nothing, but you need just enough to survive in a world like this. I'm dreaming that I had a chance to know you.... I think I may never.